—Secret Episode: Meatman Meats the Gravy Town (Part 3) So last time I was walking in a town or something. I don’t remember the town’s name, but it musta been stoopid or something. Imma be real, sometimes I don’t remember things. I just don’t remember.. the people.. the bodies… their screams…. the flames.. of exhaust. Watching their lives expire, from the flame light of life… to a silent dark.
I don’t gotta worry about that right now! Eheheh!
Spoiler alert, but I got outta that jangle of a mess, and I’m eating some pie right now with a very classy gentleman. I believe his name was… xxx. Never heard of him, but he knows me of course. I’m mister meatman! World famous youtuber! Eh, but anyways I’m sitting right now and eating pie. So lemme try and remember what the heck happened. So uh… hmm… I was in town, when the populace arrived. I slaughtered most of them… and continued on my way. But alas, alas, as I continued on my journey, smelling alas; a pie on a windowsill somewhere so far and free from this terrible terrible land, more and more of the populace attempted to destroy me, with their gravy. Them fricken gravy!! I..I…! I kept slaughtering them, erasing their existences to a molecular level! But alas, alas, they kept on coming and coming! This was when I began to believe, I may never escape. I may never find that pie. And that thought.. that thought..! It really.. it really…..!!!! IT REALLY PISSED ME OFF!! I WANT PIE DAMNIT!!! I WANT PIE!!!!
Ah! But then, then then then! I had a cool idea! Why don’t I torture the populace who is attackig me, and ask them how I could possible get them to stsnd down. Well actually first I asked about “Immediate Gemocide”. But theeeen, theeeeen, I got to thinkin about it and asked for whoever directed ceasefires.
The populace I tortured refused to talk, alas until their lastly-existing moments, to which they’d reveal everything. And then I’d crush them into nothingness, their moarable existences expiring as a blanket of black.
Whaaat? I didn’t promise them nothin like mercy! Maybe I said, “I will not harm your people if you stop annoying me,” but them folks I’d been torturin did definitely annoy me!
So don’t be callin me a liar or nothin, ya goofs! Heheh.! Anyhoo, I find out what I need to. Turns out, this is a stupid-ass hive mind group, controlled by a sentient being known as The Mayor, who as the name implies, acts as the mayor of the town.
Ever since he was a little kid, he wanted people to eat Gravy, and love it as he did (which was uh.. like a lot. Like a LOT.)
When he was 34 years old, the Mayor’s love for gravy manifested into an ability for which he can now can use to buff, manipulate, and basically own The Populace.
This manifestation occured 83 years ago! Yet, the mayor has not aged a day. So uh, basically, the populace can do what they can do basically all cause of one guy. Kinda lame, but okay, whatever gets the narrative along I guess.
So I think, now where oh where could a mayor be? Golf park? Dead hooker motel? Nah, nah..
Oh! I know! The-the-the-! The freakin uh, Mayor’s Office.
I think that up, and then I go over to the mayor’s office.
I think to myself, “Aww geez! Heheh, I hate politics!”
A crowd of people begin laughing. This is because they, like I, also do not enjoy politics. It’s relatable humor. Please laugh.
So I kill them all, ya know. No survivors. And I step through a big-ass place; for which I can only assume to be the mayor’s office.
A very VERY polite man invites me in and shakes my hand. I dunno who this dude is, but he is VERY polite, and yet.. not overbearing.
He looked like like Teddy Roosevelt, except that Teddy Rosevelt died in 1919…. 100 years ago to be precise…..
100 years ago… to this precise day…….
Woah…. Uh, anyhoo, so that one guy, he’s-he’s like, he shakes my head. He gives me some meat. He gives me the funnies pages. I don’t even have to ask. He just tells me, yeah, I’m just doing stuff I do for everybody. Cause ya know, I myself am just doing what I’d do for myself.
And then, this guy in the mayor’s office – now sitting in the mayor’s seat btw, says he’s noticed my satisfied reaction. He himself is very satisfied, and proclaims that we both are pretty similar to one another. I don’t disagree, though I do call him an h word.
But nevertheless, we get over our differences, and play a quick game mahjong.
12 minutes have passed. And how many times have I won? 12! Neither of us know how to play Mahjong, but we made up rules and ai won in the made-up rules.
Oh l, uh… anyhoo. Then the guy um..
Then the guy uh… And uh, well, I-I like the guy, okay?
I like him. He’s a cool guy. He’s a really guy, but uh…
Turns out he’s kinda gey. Not like, gey gey. But like… lame geay.
Like he thought the whole “CNN is owned by the Chinese” stuff was just a stupid conspiracy theory. Ev…even though I told him that my cousin Eddie saw the whole thing. So… I dunno… he’s lame gey I guess.
And then I slit his throat. Also, I don’t have a cousin eddie. We actually got into an argument over something else but I’m not gonna say what.
Also he was the mayor. But eh.. like, that was a really anti-climactic reveal ngl. So we don’t gotta talk hour ngl.
Um… so I destroyed he Populace Leader. And all the Populace exploded into chucks.
So then I continued on my path, and followed the road to this small house, which is actually on the border between town and another hick town. But then I reached the house with the pie on its windowsill, met the baker, xxx.
And uh… now I’m here.