Comments
  1. Thanks so much for the video Kati 🙂 and yes I believe that religion helps me with my struggles and daily life by giving me hope and a sense of comfort that nothing else seems to give me. When I was at my lowest of lows I believe that prayer and good community truly saved me. I love your channel by the way- your videos help me feel that I'm not so crazy and that things CAN get better, so thank you!

  2. Personally religion doesn't help me. I'm more a fan of believing in yourself and gain strength from that, but I think a lot of times people think you can only pray in church and you have to go there, although you can pray at home or somewhere else too and if it makes you feel better about yourself and you feel less alone, I think that's great 🙂 

  3. My experience with the school thing is that moving schools won't make your struggles go away, i suffer from anxiety and dissociation and moving schools didn't help that to go away at all, i did get a fresh start with no one knowing of my past struggles which was good for me, but did not make my problems go away and did not improve my anxiety or prevent panic attacks even though it is a smaller school. Maybe just try to work on overcoming you anxiety, thats what I'm doing 🙂 good luck <3

  4. Hey Kati! I switched schools when I was going into 9th grade. I have anixtey as well!  The First day of school was the worse day of my life. It was really hard. I knew 4 kids in the whole school! But Know that i am going into 11th grade it was the best choice of my life. It made me super anxious at first but it is better now. I am so glad i made that choice! it is better for me 🙂 

  5. Jesus gives me a profound sense that everything will be ok. It's like – if I just make it through this life, heaven will be so much better.
    And also, it's great to be able to pray and pass on some of the stress/guilt/fear. God is amazing and once you realize that there is someone profoundly interested in you personally recovery gets easier. <3

  6. I think religion totally helps (at least for me). It's not so much the higher power concept for me, but the community. My church is like my 2nd family and a lot of them know about my struggles and have helped me so much. Religion has also just taught me a lot about myself, and has allowed me to do a lot of self exploration. It forces me to not isolate so much, because people are always thinking about you (in a good, not creepy way). So, I think it help 😉

  7. #KatiFAQ Thank you so much for all of the work you do for us, it means a lot! My question is how can I overcome or at least push aside the guilt I feel for being depressed and having anxiety. I have a couple of professionals and my family (to a degree) that help me, but I just feel guilty all of the time for taking up their time and for not being better. I know that you can't just snap out of this kind of thing, but I feel like i should have and the voice telling me to just get better is making recovery so much harder. Thank you and have a lovely day 🙂 xxxx

  8. I went to Church for 2 years it helped me alot it gave me instant friends and family and social life and made me alot happier the ppl were really nice, loving, supportive, accepting and helpful. I find it interesting that studies show that ppl who go to church regularly are alot happier.

  9. I chose to stay in my high school which had 3000 students even though the environment gave me really bad anxiety. I stayed because I had a safe place to go in the school. The counsellors were really supportive and the school was understanding enough to help me through it. I wanted to go to a new school but that would have been boarding school and I feel like I would have isolated myself even more so it was better for me to stay and work through my issues in the environment i knew. x. 

  10. I'm going to a different school district this year because the school was not supportive and I was being bullied and they wouldn't do anything about it. I am actually excited (and a little anxious) to start over! I'll tell you how it works out 🙂

  11. Another great video Kati! I really like the way you talked about prayer and religion! My take on it is, I was born and raised in an "orthodox" household but we never talked about any sort of prayer and that, but recently I have been attending a baptist church and I DO feel like it is helping me through some of my mental Heath issues. I believe that praying and attending church really helps me smile and interact with others, which in-turn makes me feel happier about life's struggles. But there is also a so called 'downside' to it, many of the people I talk to are full Christians and say prayer and nothing else will make me better. It personally makes me feel bad when I'm at an all time low and they just tell me to pray and believe that it'll get better eventually. I feel like I'm wasting Gods time with me since I'm not putting my full trust in Jesus. And since they say I have to wait for the outcome makes it harder because I'm a very impatient person, I want results asap. Those are the two sides I believe can make religion good and 'bad' but I will keep trying to trust in Jesus and see where he leads me on my life's highway! Religion has helped me, but there are days when it does not.. Thanks again Kati! Or should I say Mrs. St Louis!!

  12. I'm too skeptical to blindly follow established religion. I do believe in an all powerful god because there is so much order in existence. There does seem to be some kind of a hand shaping things. I shudder to think how such a god could allow so many bad things to happen – like a person getting 3rd degree burns over eighty per cent of his body, or the nazies seeing how many times they could break the leg of a Jewish child and reset it. Horrible things happen all the time. I'm not sure it helps me to think this way, but I do think it gives me an accurate view of existence.

  13. Hey Kati! I posted this question last week but I didn't realize you were in Seattle! My question is-
    I just found out my therapist is pregnant! I'm super excited for her but in the back of my mind I keep wondering what I am going to do while she is on maternity leave. It takes me a long time to trust and be comfortable with new people and I get really anxious with introductions. Thus I'm scared to have to see someone covering for her and I'm scared to just not see anyone until she returns. Help!!
    Thanks kati! Keep up the good work your videos are amazing <3

  14. #katifaq how do you find a therapist especially when there aren't many that fit your criteria in your area? Would it be better to go to one you don't have a connection with than no therapist at all?

  15. Hi Kati! I like this video; it was very thought-provoking.
    I'm very active in my church, especially the mission part of things. Doing good for others makes me feel loads better, so that might contribute to why I like it so much. I visit people who are sick & knit baby hats & quilts for various charities with my church.
    More than anything, I like my church because I have been going for so long that many of the members remember me from when I was a kid. Some were even at my baptism!
    I agree with you though. If something makes you feel better & it's not hurting yourself or others, why not do it?
    <3

  16. Hi and sorry, I don't want to insult anyone or something, just English isn't my native language and I have to keep it simple. But there is a thing, if you're not religious, how can you support people in their belief? They are fooling themselves believing there's some person in heaven listening to their voice and so on… And maybe they should learn how to really deal with their problems, without avoiding them, because praying won't fix anything and it is nothing but hiding in an imaginary world. Children used to have imaginary friends, but I assume adults shouldn't do that, eventually it's time to grow up a bit. It's a false hope there's someone taking care of us. What do you think? Shouldn't be psychotherapist honest with his patient?

  17. Religion has helped me with depression, but I always feel like all it is is a comfort thing and isn't real because I kind of go back and forth between being an atheist and kind of believing in god and now I don't really know if god is real or not but I sort of believe he is just incase. Better safe than sorry I guess.

  18. #KatiFAQ hi kati, My mum thinks I'm suffering from OCD. I have been diagnosed with depression and anxiety already and struggle with panic attacks. I have to check everything more than once otherwise I get anxious. I have a certain routine that I do before I go to bed, before I leave for school e.t.c and if I mess it up or leave something out I have to go back and do it again. It's really starting to bother me. Is it just my anxiety or do I have OCD ?

  19. Hi Kati, I think you're right in a sense about religion. I think especially if we are depressed or anxious, we are often forever searching for answers to why – which is a never-ending question… and faith in God or a greater power in a way can relieve us of that pressure to continue seeking answers why. We have faith that something greater than us knows why, and all we need to do is trust in that – it can help to relieve anxiety and give us hope and help us draw strength that we otherwise didn't think was there.  I also totally agree that, when building new relationships, and new circles of friends, becoming involved in a Church group can be a "safe environment" with people who generally are supportive and loving (I acknowledge this may not be always the case – but my own experience has been positive).

  20. About a year ago I switched from a large (1100 girls school) to a smaller (400 co-ed) school. I suffer from panic attacks/ anxiety and I knew no one so that was a big switch for me. It was the best thing I have ever done and I'm so proud of myself for doing the move. I love the smaller environment and how we all know each other! The first 3 weeks at the start are the worst but from then on its onwards and upwards!

  21. I've getting back to going to church and it's been helping me.I've been having a hard year and have felt really lost lately

  22. I moved schools to one that was probably about 3 times the size! I moved from a private all girls school because it was such an unhealthy environment, everyone was constantly goibg on about calories and weight and cutting etc it was the norm there and it was also so high achieving it was too overwhelming! I moved to a state school which I love love love! Its great and the pastoral care is amazing! I moved in the new school year so at the end of 2012 to do my GCSEs there (in the UK)! Actually moving to a sixth form in september this year to do my A levels tho (so excited!)! Moving schools was easily the best move (pardon the pun hehe!) in my recovery and even though to make it effective I literally cut off almost all ties with the people from my old school and I moved somewhere where I knew literally nobody it was such a like cleansing experience and a challenge in itself. I live change idk why hehe but I do so that helped too! Hope that helps at all? Looong reply haha xx

  23. just switched schools and I went from a really strict and formal private school to a public school. I have found that the change has been REALLY helpful because I feel like I have more control over my life there.

  24. I was 18 when I dropped out of being religious. With dropping my religious believes I also dropped in panic mode. If I don't believe in a afterlife what else is there? Atheism therefor didn't really cut it for me.  Now I am agnostic, I don't really know if there is something and in what form but I hope there is.

  25. Personally, while I understand all the social reasons behind people and their religions, I would never get involved myself. "If it makes me feel better, why wouldn't I do it?" err.. Heroin makes you feel better, too. Why wouldn't you do that? I don't like that logic, not everything that makes you feel better is good for you. And I feel that religion is "good for you" in detriment of others. Since, you are supporting an organization that marginalizes a fair portion of humans. You are saying "yes, I am perfectly ok with my organization treating/considering people like 2nd class citizens, so long as I can still attend and get MY social interactions and sense of community from it". You want sense of community? Join a club, go do art, volunteer, go online. So long as religion's love is continued to be served mingled in its hate, I will always be against it.

  26. #katifaq my question is do you believe In distraction or dealing with anxiety , my psychologist always talks about distracting my self and keeping my self busy constantly so I don't have time to be anxious but I personally think that I can't be busy all the time , don't no if you understand hopefully you do .

  27. #KatiFAQ: I was sexually abused from the ages of 3-9. I have been in complete denial about it and really didn't believe it had happened at all. I am 25 and I have just been starting to work things out on my own and in therapy. Since childhood I have been very detached from my family but now although I don't want to be anywhere near I find myself going back to them even though they were the ones that hurt me. It is messing up my head so much I feel disgusted with myself and like a freak. Why do I want them? Sorry this is really long! X

  28. #katifaq
    Hey kati, My mum just doesn't understand.
    I finally came to terms and told her what I'm going through and that I cope with it by sh. This is all triggered mostly by self hate but also bullying and just the good old feeling alone. She thinks because I've never been abused or never had anything traumatic happen in the past that I shouldn't be acting like this and it's silly. How do I explain to her? I would love the help thanks xo

  29. I grew up in a Christian household. I don't currently follow any religion but believe in God and know he can help but for some reason, I don't ask for the help. #KatiFAQ Most of the time I walk around without showing much emotion but every now and then I have this burst of emotions. Sometimes they can be hurtful to others. What can I do to avoid it?

  30. For the first question I used to have really bad anxiety so I stopped going to school as a whole so my guidance councillor referred me to an alternative school and it is so small and I love it! Talk to the people at your school find out all your options and then decide! 🙂

  31. #KatiFAQ

    Hi Kati, I am finally seeing a counsellor for my problems but I have no idea what to expect as I have never been to a counsellor/therapist before, have you got any advice?

  32. #katiFAQ  My friend has basically dropped me like a hot potato to chase some boy because of puppy love. I want her back. What do I do?

  33. #katiFAQ Can you recover if you're job focuses on your body? I am in professional training as a dancer, actress and singer and you mentioned before how you've had clients who did these jobs & found it harder to recover. Because what I do entails hours of exercise a day, is it possible for me to recover from my ed? I know that I need to in order to be healthy enough to fulfil my career, but my body is always going to be judged. Thanks! Been wondering and hearing conflicting things about this, which really upsets me because I know I'm passionate about the career I've chosen and would be lost without it xxx

  34. Religion had given me a lot of solace in my life. Going to church is like a sanctuary where I can have a conversation and try to figure things out. Although it's not for everyone, it may help if you don't know where else to turn. I just think of Dr. Tony Evans's quote "Sometimes God lets you hit rock bottom so you discover that he is the rock at the bottom." Just some good for thought.

  35. #KatiFAQ What do you think about holistic medicine (acupuncture) for mental health related things, such as depression, anxiety, and eating disorders? What do you think of it as a compliment to therapy, or an alternative to medication?
    I know the World Health Organization recognizes it as an effective form of treatment for many conditions. What do you think I recently tried acupuncture and I think it was extremely helpful.

  36. #katifaq  You say to fight back against the negative voices, but in DBT, according to my therapist, the foundation is to make bad thoughts and judgements into neutral ones. (which is really hard btw!) Why are there these two different strategies? Is one better/more effective than the other? Fighting back is easier but less effective for me, making neutral statements over the past week has just proved frustrating! 

  37. re: school. Could your parents/ therapist speak to your current school about adaptations? In the UK schools (and further education such as colleges and universities) have to make 'reasonable adjustments'. These can be things like sitting exams in a private room or not having to eat lunch in the cafeteria. It could also be bout having someone in your school who can help you work out ways your classes could be less anxiety provoking e.g sitting somewhere you feel comfortable, homework extensions, teachers not yelling (good teachers don't need to yell!). I think wherever you end up doing high school the school should be supportive of you and getting you to where you need to be at the end of senior year. For the UK equivalent of high school I had a note taker, extra time for exams and coursework and the understanding of my tutors…and I'm at a Russell Group uni now.

  38. Holy shit, Kati, I LOVE this video! Especially the journal topic and also I LOLed when you said the thing about kicking ass at 2:47. And speaking of the journal topic, I definitely wrote and posted a blog entry recently on that topic, or at least a similar one. It was about modern technology vs. human interaction. 

    Anyway, i hope you're doing well!

    P.S. Your office (or that corner anyway) looks pretty chill. 

  39. Religion really helps a lot of people I know with their life struggles. I often wish that I could be religious and believe in God because it seems like that is really helpful to a lot of people. In think believing in heaven or an afterlife would really help me with some of my anxiety because I have such a strong fear of dying.

  40. #KatiFAQ: How do I overcome the fear of telling my family that I am not religious? They are religious and I am afraid they won't accept it or that I will upset them. But it's hard pretending all the time!

  41. In response to the first question about school and anxiety, I believe that in the right settings a change of schools can be crucial to ones education. 

    Okay so Ill try to make this short. I back in eight grade (2012) hit a horrible low where I was hospitalized twice and sent to a Partial hospitalization program ( for anyone in NJ, it was high focus). I missed 5 months of school due to being in programs. In my state middle school is 7&8 high school is 9-12th so I was facing a new school with over 2000 students. Going from no school at all back to my middle school with only 300 students was a massive jump for me.And then to go to 2000 students was unbearable. 

    After a month of me missing school, Finally my mom got through to the child study team who evaluated me for an IEP ( individual education plan). After the evaluations were completed, I was granted the ability to transfer to a different school. For anyone who believes that an IEP is just for learning disabilities is wrong. At the time I was not diagnosed with any learning disabilities, I was classified as ED (emotionally disturbed) because of my anxiety making school unbearable. 

    I was sent to an alternative high school within my district. There is a total of 23 kids including myself in the school. I didnt know anyone in the school except one kid who I briefly met on the tour of the school. Once I started there within two weeks I was integrated into the school and couldn't have been happier. It was the best thing that ever happened to me.

    Two years later I'm still in the alternative high school and loving it. Ill be a junior this year starting in September. 
    Now after I have shown the positives, I do want to make sure the negatives are also known.

    The process was difficult and tiresome. It took the child study team one month to look at my proposal case before excepting it and starting the evaluation process. I can only speak for new jersey, but I had to go through three, two hour evaluations with countless meeting in between. A learning disabilities evaluation, psychiatric evaluation, and psychological evaluation. It took 90 days for the three evaluations to happen which was like pulling teeth. It took another month to get me started in a new school. 

    So if you don't mind playing phone tag and the waiting game defiantly go for it. 
     The best part is that you can always change your mind because its YOUR plan. It evolves around you. But you have learn to speak up for yourself. 

    It also helps that your parents/ legal guardians are on board supporting your every move they are also heavily involved, and if your under the care of a therapist/psychologist/psychiatrist SIGN RELEASES FOR THE SCHOOL TO TALK TO THEM. It helps speed up the process if they have your history on record and the ability to talk to them. I cannot stress how CRUCIAL it is for those releases to be put in place.

    Good Luck, Best wishes to anyone in this situation. If anyone has questions around this please do not hesitate to ask, my; facebook: https://www.facebook.com/violinstar10
    Email: [email protected]

  42. #KatiFAQ Hey, Kati! I hope you're well. I was curious if it's possible/"normal"/common to "not have time" or energy for your ED and, if so, is this temporary? For example, if you are sick, had surgery, etc. does it make sense to stop caring about counting calories and not get so anxious around food while you're healing? I have been thinking that maybe I don't actually have an ED or maybe it "went away" or something because I have been caring way less (and sometimes not at all) about these things…but part of me wonders if it's just denial. What are your thoughts?

  43. #KatiFAQ
    Hi Kati! What are your thoughts about wearing corsets in recovery? I've always loved corsets (I’m a big fan of alternative fashion) and recently I finally bought myself one, and when I first tried it on I was shocked – for the first time since I can remember I looked in the mirror and I didn't hate what I saw. Actually, I thought I look kind of… amazing? I couldn't get my hands of my stomach, it was so beautifully flat. It makes me feel really good about myself, but I still don’t like the way my body looks like – I just love the way it’s shaped by corset, so isn’t that kind of cheating?

  44. I am very religious, in a way, and it is one of the only constant and trusting things in my life. For me, believing in god helps to get me through the hard times and savor the good ones.

  45. Could you make a video about selective mutism? I had it when I was a kid. I'm not sure if you remember but one time I commented about that and you replied. I feel like it is something that is NEVER talked about.

  46. #KatiFAQ  Hi Kati! I have been struggling with extreme suicidal thoughts, low self esteem and self harm (I'm 6 months clean now!) for a couple of years. I had an okay experience with the help given by the NHS last year but I never really got better as such, I just wasn't thinking about bad things for a while. Then in December things started getting really bad again and a few months later I went to my doctors and asked for help again. I was just seeing her for a bit until it got bad enough (in their eyes. I was extremely suicidal but nothing was really being done) to refer me to some service/department. I had one appointment mid last month and haven't heard anything since. Basically the service is just ridiculous given my prior state that I could, and have, slip right back into in a split second. School is starting again soon and I have my GCSE's this year so I know I'm probably going to breakdown pretty quickly. I know what I need is to work through whatever is causing me to feel and act this way instead of pushing it aside. I'm thinking about asking my mam if I can go see a private therapist but I don't think we can afford it. It's a life threatening thing and it's just being treated like nothing and I don't know what to do. Any advice on coping with these issues while waiting for help and being under pressure at school? Thank you 🙂

  47. My therapist suggested I go on medicine for depression. I would be open to the idea but I have a horrible horrible relationship with my parents, so bad to the point where I won't leave my room because of them. I am 16 and my parents are my biggest trigger but I do want to go on medication I just don't want them to have anything to do with it as they don't support me. How ever I am really close to my best friends mom would she be able to come with me and could I use her as the adult instead of my parents? Thanks.

  48. Hey Kati, my question is when is the best time to ask our questions? It's hard to make I sure I post my questions before you check and make the video because you live on the west coast and I live in Illinois. Thanks for being so awesome!

  49. #katiFAQ  Hi Kati, I just got out of an inpatient ED center and my therapist told my parents I can't buy any of the same brands of food that I ate during my ED.  My parents buy all of my food now and remove the labels.  I feel like this is unfair and I don't understand why I can't have the same brands as long as I'm following my meal plan?

  50. when i was at youtube meetups i would always give my sn because that is known my birth name isnt known

    thx for the ha bisky vid i love your Q and As so much

  51. i was never in the same school or anything for a long amount of time because my parents suck but i know that some schools are better then others

    my high school was great because it was so small and you get to know people quickly in that kind of a setting when i went to college i wasnt planing on even making friends but a guy came up to me and started talking to me and we became best friends

    i then got to meet some of his friends he didnt really see himself as friends with them because they werent people who really clicked with him (to put it in a way that is understandable) he showed me all of his hangouts he never showed any of them he had 2 secret places he went to and never let anybody know because they were his escapes but he loved me enough to show me and he said i could go there whenever i wanted

  52. thats why i am an atheist and know 100% there isnt a god because my life was so shitty and the pretentious agnostics pushed me the rest of the way when i was agnostic

    that and the hypocriticalness that all of the religions have

  53. Hey kati I have selective mutism and I'm really struggling … People think I'm really rude because I can be halfway through a convocation and then I will just stop talking and they don't understand and I'm losing so many friends because I can't explain can you make a video so I can just link them here so maybe they will understand … Selective mutism isent talked about anywhere so I'm not surprised people don't understand , thankyou for your videos they always make me smile and it's nice to hear a familiar voise …;) #KatiFAQ

  54. #KatiFAQ
    Hi Kati! I've been struggling with anxiety for the last few years, however going back on my history it seems to be something I've had even as a little child. I have a question regarding part time work.. I'm currently a full time student (in my senior year) and in the past when I've applied for part time/casual work I've gotten the job but been so, so anxious that I couldn't keep it for very long. (I worked in fast food places that were very high paced and quite stressful, and the managers weren't too nice to me.) I now notice that when I go to apply for jobs, I get very very anxious and worry that I what's happened previously will happen again and that I won't be able to do it. It's a real source of anxiety for me. Do you have any tips?

    Thanks 🙂

  55. question 2
    I had a therapist that I went  back to a second time the connection was so strong and I loved it then the  second time it  was a little harder.

  56. #KatiFAQ  hey there, so I'm beginning my freshman year of college as a declared psychology/education double major. I think I eventually want to end up being a children/young adult therapist or school psychologist of some sort. Anyway, my question is what are some major tips that you wish you knew going into this field? What are some things that you think I should be aware of? Any words of advice? Thank you so much! 

  57. Religion helps because it makes you not feel so alone. Not many people understands what you're going through, but God is always that one person that you can talk to at any time. I also thinks that it helps because a church family can help you so much. I'm the only one in my family that goes church, but I still feel like I have a "family" with me… if that makes since. 🙂

  58. I switched schools, and you are right. Wherever you go, there you are. It's wise to work through problems where you are, if possible. Then again, I changed jobs, an everything got better. It all depends.

  59. I left my last therapist pretty abruptly and found it really hard that we never talked through it or had a proper goodbye. I think it was close to 2 years later, I finally sat down and sent her a letter updating her on my life and a couple of weeks after that I was missing her really bad so I gave her a call and we had a nice chat, just about how things had been going. We definitely had the same connection and talking with her made it so much better and really gave me closure, though she said her door is never shut and I can contact her any time.

  60. 1) Although I don't have experience with switching schools due to MH related stuff, (my BP flared up later in life… I had autistic stuff going on back then but from that I'm so aloof that switching schools is a non-issue…) I do have issues with bouncing between jobs due to BP and feel that unless one is sure the issue is external, it's probably a bad habit to get into.

    3) NO! (Although I try not to disparage others who lean on faith…) The problem with religion is that it hides mental illness. When normal people talk about God saying something to them they mean that they were positively inspired by something. When I talk about God saying something to me I mean I'm having a back and forth conversation with God. The two are vastly different.

    I do miss the religious community though.

  61. 're: School – I switch from a public school to a charter school and I stayed there for two years. It was okay but nothing really got me too excited. I spent a lot of time with the same people – I am not too sure if that is a good thing or "not so good" thing. And there are not a lot of extra curricular activities besides art or music – no sport groups. Plus, I still had challenges at school so I ended up switching back to a public school. 

    In conclusion, I agreed with Kati that if you switch from a public/large school to a small/charter school it doesn't exactly end your anxiety/depression. So I would suggest talking to the school counselor about your challenges at school and possibly ask for your accommodations before deciding to switch schools.

  62. Hey I'm an atheists. I am looking for therapists but I live in the South. Is there a possibility of a therapist to think poorly of me or preach at me and kind of force a conversion since they can get in my head space and use it to their advantage?

  63. My Christian faith has been my lifeline thru depression/anxiety. Jesus lead me to add 'accupuncture' to my medication. I've found relief, try it…. 🤷‍♂️🙏🇦🇺

  64. Organized religion is basically the root of all evil, control and greed It's socially acceptable insanity. Personal spirituality to get you through the day is one thing…it's still ultimately a fairy tale BUT it's whatever. Organized religion though…it's horrible. The community you find is often abusive and brainwashing

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