Vaush: Tom! Tom: We’re coming back, mate. *Vaush imitating a guitar* Tom: Uh, hello? Vaush: Hey! Tom: How’s it going? Vaush: I’m doing wonderfully. Do you like the guitar or is that
just sort of an emblematic, uh… Just a little, like, signifier badge.
Tom: Emb…emblematic? What are you trying to say?
Vaush: Like… Emblematic? Uh, am I using that word incorrectly? Tom: No, you aren’t using it correctly. Vaush: “Serving as a symbol of a particular
quality or concept; symbolic.” No, I was using that correctly, because I said emblematic.
Tom: I didn’t say you aren’t using it correctly. *Let’s go back in time!* Tom: NO, YOU AREN’T USING IT CORRECTLY. And now, are you mad because I have more…y’know… musical skill than you? Vaush: Okay, so I can tell we’re in
for an antagonistic discussion. Hit me up. motherfucker. What are..what are we here for?
What do you got going on? Tom: No, you’re antagonistic. Mario from Hotel Mario: NO U Vaush: I talked with my dad earlier today. It was pretty good.
Tom: You still have a co- You still have a uh, cohesive relationship with your father? Vaush: Yes.
Tom: With the views you do? Vaush: I have an extremely healthy family connection.
Tom: Racial miscige- miscegenation? Vaush: Uh…
Tom: Race mixing? Vaush: Well, both of my uh parents are white. They didn’t have to do any of that to make me.
Tom: Believing that gender is bimodal? And gender isn’t biological? Vaush: I mean I…I’m not entirely sure- Are you just- You’re saying facts, but the tone
of voice makes it sound like you think they’re stupid.
Tom: I’m saying facts? You think…you think gender is bimodal? Vaush: No, I say sex is bimodal;
gender is a social construct. *Laughing at the facts* Tom: Wait. Vaush: Ah, I see what kind- I got it!
Tom: So you’re an anti-realist. Vaush: I can see what kind of discussion we’re here for.
Tom: You’re an anti-realist. Tom: You’re an anti-realist. Vaush: In what respect? Tom: In uh… the material…matter that… uh, gender is not uh, socially constructed but a…a biological characteristic.
Vaush: Uh, yeah. Um, do you think that sports teams are like, a biological
thing or do you think that they’re like, a social construct? Tom: Like… That’s such a nuanced, vague-
Vaush: No, it’s- No, it’s not. They’re- We made them, we made sports teams.
We didn’t like- we didn’t dig them up. And so, acknowledging the fact that sports teams
are something we socially constructed doesn’t make you an anti-realist. Tom: […] we have to call mentally ill trannies… me- uh, he or she.
Vaush: Ah. Tom: Is not a legal construction? Vaush: I mean, are you mad that
academic consensus disagrees with you? Are you like, frustrated that the world is
changing quickly and you can’t keep up with it? I dunno, we- we’re coming back, mate. We’re coming back.
Vaush: You’re really not. We are coming back, mate. Did you see Robert Bowers?
Vaush: You’re really really not. This is not the first time we’ve had our little research-
Tom: Did you- did you see Robert Bowers? Did you see Charlottesville? Vaush: Yeah…? Waiwaiwait, Charlottesville?
Tom: We’re coming back, mate. You mean the national embarrassment
that led to international condemnation of the movements associated with Charlottesville? Tom: And who died?
Vaush: The tiki torch… One lady died because she was hit by a car?
Tom: Who died? Vaush: Oh, you’re right!
Tom: Yeah, one of your own. Vaush: I forgot! White nationalism is coming back, boys!
Someone got hit with the car! We did it! Tom: Uh, I think the goyim are waking up there, mate.
I think the goyim are waking up. Vaush: Okay, you’re whining like a bitch. Tom: How am I raging impotently? Vaush: I have inductively reasoned that you are crying.
Tom: […] myself. I’m trying not to laugh. You’re- you’re such a highly intellectual being that
believes that gender is some sort of social construction, Vaush: Again, they’re saying things that are true, but the
tone of voice indicates you don’t think they’re true, which might be your problem and your fault.
Tom: It is not true. Tom: […] Make trannies become acceptable like transgenderism… Acceptable in reality. It’s not acceptable. Vaush: So, you may feel very strongly about it,
but you will never win an actual debate. Tom: What are you talking about? Vaush: On the issue of gender, sex
and modern gender theory, you will literally never win a discussion on this.
Tom: Mate, you’re already being destroyed… Vaush: Hmm. Okay. So these are- Again, these-
Tom: …by Jordan Peterson. Oh, Jo- *Wheeze* Jordan Peterson: Vaush, you lobster of a man… Please, I need your thick throbbing- Tom: You’re huge. Vaush: Okay. Yeah, I am huge Tom: Right.
Vaush: Yeah. Tom: What we do is we grab a bat,
Vaush: Yeah. we go one-on-one and who(s) wins, but you’re not gonna come up and talk- Vaush: Wait, are you unironically like, IRL
“Hey, meet me IRL, fi-” “Fuckin’ fight me in real life, not online,
motherfucker, see what we…” What the fuck? Are you actually like, fifteen or sixteen? This would be really embarrassing
if you were a legal adult. Wait, how old are you? Hello? He’s deafened himself! Do you think- Do you think this is his, like, protest? That’s about the least productive
discussion I’ve ever had in my life. *Vaush and a Nazi Incel discussing geometry?* Vaush: ProCommunist. ProCommunist… ProCommunist: Yeah, sorry, uh… Can we finish the conversation, please? [Death Note – L’s Theme] Vaush: Wait.
ProCommunist: Hello? Vaush: Wait- Wait, are you the person who
muted yourself and then I kicked you? Tom: Yeah. Vaush: And you created an
entire new Discord account…? Tom: Yes. Vaush: I respect that. Okay. How about we- Can we- Can we focus in on like a topic? Is there like, an ethical or policy position or
do you want to call mine a cuck or…? Tom: Yes. Yes. Vaush: Yes to all. Alright, I’m ready. Tom: So you called yourself a rule utilitarian, and you want to- you want to maximize happiness for the group collectively. Vaush: For the greatest number of
sentient creatures, yeah. Tom: Sentient, right. Vaush: As a nation, I believe that-
Tom: But oh hey, but you’re preaching- You’re preaching class warfare, which has to come-
Vaush: Yeah, but there’s a- Whoawhoawhoa, no. I never said class warfare,
that’s a very reductivist term. What I said is that violence may be
necessary to secure a socialist state; that’s not the same thing as me saying
every business owner has to be killed. Only a very small group of people would need to
actually have violence and acted against them. These would be the ultimate capitalist elite, the people who could land a counter-revolution
if they have the ability to do so. These people… I prescribe them… The guillotine. (in a video game) *Prole Laugh* Like, for instance, like uh, like uh, the Kauch
brothers, like, the multi-billionaires and… Tom: The- the Koch.
Vaush: Them and the multi-billionaires and the oil execs; these people, these people have literally
gotten the U.S. to invade other countries. They’re dangerous-
Tom: Isn’t the Koch brothers Jewish though? Vaush: I don’t care? I don’t really like, care if a person’s Jewish when I
decide whether or not they’re harming society. Tom: But do you- do you-… Do you judge the Jew in a materialistic sense? Vaush: What does this mean? Tom: As in, if you’re against capitalism, you should
ardently and critically criticize Jews. Vaush: *Stammering* What does this have to do with
material analysis of Jewish people? There are probable some Jews in power, there are lots of non-Jews in power.
Tom: Well, have you noticed how Jews have become… Vaush: You realize- you realize you’re not going to get me with this one, right?
Tom: Like, in a- in a switch… You’re not gonna get me with this one. I know all the fucking /pol/ thread arguments;
I’m familiar with them; it hasn’t affected me… Tom: Well, you’re not even lettin- You don’t
even know what I’m gonna say first. Vaush: Well, I have a feeling it’s not going to be any
smarter than the ninety thousand other arguments I’ve heard in favor of the Jewish Question.
Tom: Why’re you being so rude? Vaush: You’re right, I’ll be more polite. Now please,
tell me about how Jews control the world. Tom: I wasn’t gonna say that. I was going to say… You do know who funded the Bolshevik Revolution. It was not…a… revolution by dialectic materialism. It was funded by…
Vaush: I know, international Jewish cabal, I know. Shhh. I know. Tom: Jacob Schiff, a capitalist-
Vaush: Mhm, I know. Yeah, I know. I’ve seen- I’ve seen it all in the spooky /pol/ threads where they put the pictures up and they tie up the little red strings and then they put the ha- the Jewish star in the background and you learn that everything bad that ever happened was because of Jewish people.
Tom: Can I ask you a question? I’m not saying that. That- that is a… Vaush: A strawman, yes.
Tom: I forget what that- that fancy Latin word for like, someone like… Vaush: It’s a strawman – I strawmanned you, but why I’m doing it is because it is late and I’m not interested in debating your
conspiratorial arguments on how Jewish people (unintelligible) so and such forth.
Tom: Okay, that’s another insult. Vaush: I think it’s reasonable for me to asumme you’re a bad faith actor.
Tom: I am totally cogent, totally cool all the time. Vaush: Uh, okay.
Tom: I’m a very attractive individual. I am never antagonized by anything, other than when people like you, you’d just like for people to be displaced in their own homelands and their own communities.
Vaush: Well, mmmnn…I don’t- You probably shouldn’t say that,
because white people being here and then white people and brown people
being here isn’t displacement. Nobody’s being displaced. The reason why I’m antagonistic is I- I really-
Tom: Yes. I really think you’re subhuman. Tom: I’m telling you: Hey, you’re calling people subhuman, yet you’re against Nazis,
Vaush: Mmm-hmm. Tom: who came up with the term. I forgot that you’re the… the upper echelons of society, the… higher IQ individual
Vaush: Thanks…? Yeah, thank you. Yeah, I try very hard.
Tom: With no counter- no counter factual evidence to this.
Vaush: Mmhm. Tom: And I would actually demonstrably
have a low average IQ than most people Vaush: Now you got me, dude. How’d you
dig up- How’d you dig up my scores? Tom: Because you think black people have similar distributions of IQ… Vaush: No, I never said that; I said that
socioeconomics accounts for the difference. I don’t know why you keep strawmanning me.
Are you forgetting the arguments? Are you triggered and you done with my actual points
Tom: I’m not strawmanning you. because you know I’d blow you the fuck out?
Tom: No no…th- that is literally- Vaush: […] these individual researchers […] -bout.
Tom: You are socially inept, because I think you are… Vaush: Wait, do- wait, do you wanna have- Do you want to have a dick measuring contest
in how relatively socially successful we are? Tom: Of course I’m more socially successful than you. Have you heard my voice? Vaush: So you jumped right off the point so- so you don’t-
Tom: I (uninteligible) have a higher average IQ. Vaush: I- Okay? Cool. Wow, you found my stats. Uhm, so you don’t want to have a talk on
who’s more socially successful? You realize you sound mad as fuck, right? I’m sorry, bucko.
JLP: Bucko. Vaush: Bring your ad- *Stammering* fucking academic research over to academia and see if they like it cuz right now, the world disagrees with you. JLP: Bucko. Tom: […] or race…the… racial achievements because you’re a dialectic materialist, because you-
Vaush: I don’t know what you’re going on about right now. Tom: You- I’m- Why are we t-
Vaush: Can we- Wait. Wait, we’ve never answered the question on “subhuman” and how I must be a Nazi if I use that word.
Tom: Okay, I’ll get back to that point. Yeah, I was gonna get the book.
Vaush: Mhm. Are you- are you done? Hello?
[The X-Files theme song] Hello? You good? Buddy? Yo, hello? Really? Twice? Hello? Is this guy for real? We’re coming back, mate.
(Yet we’re still waiting for Tom to this day.)