The Secret Society Of Twisted Storytellers - "ROMANCE" - Michael Colyar



[Applause] hi I'm doing okay alright I wonder if you're here for Peter are you running Peter people with Peter watching this on [Applause] people to know that no animals were killed for this this for real y'all used to I just carry yesterday for my eighty degrees that's the Allison with my feet in water and food [Applause] ha [Applause] it's so cool our dog takes the cat there before they bring on steak you know Tony Hawk will become hit 6:45 car get the bag get here about 17 736 we started school starting said ready h-60 she like once well Carolyn you did dang yeah but she loved life and you guys came up in the damn thing she was a big round I thank you for allowing me this Satori um I came with my friend because I was in town on a comedy show and dick was here and he said Michael I'm gonna storyteller so I came over to watch and I said right behind him as he sat there and then he came on the stage you did that thing and I was like oh I have got to do this and you made a dream come true by bringing him I'm gonna take the call [Applause] Oh one thing I want to do that's a lot fellowshipping going on you know so pardon me I thought the topic is romance and I am romance guy I love little get today but first I just wanted to tell oh shit for a second can you just turn to the person next to you turn to the person next to you oh no because my shit okay food chef what was his name chef Raj Shah was down placements tournament chef Donald stuff he has a restaurant here call 1970 if you have an opportunity go the food is amazing wait this morning it was the booze off the chain and then Free People free food I met him at the curio which is amazing you judgmental of Rio you want to go over there it's amazing they're growing vinyl definitely albums man the people who are hip don't know but that's the hottest thing right now albums are coming back get you a turntable albums and here in the music in a pure form like that it's off the chain you walk in there they have coach music nicest people our husband probably a teacher get your t-shirt free let's get free shit another one cuz I had it look real as you know there's a storyteller and that's all this is full circle cause here we are here to tell stories and storytelling forum it was just all of the gist it all just came together so I thank you I thank you I thank you um I know wow [Applause] it's called restaurant war face hey the only way it's a restaurant is if you walk through the Cracker Barrel [Applause] No [Applause] [Applause] myself [Applause] [Applause] [Applause] I don't take personal give me ideas shit [Applause] you woke up the next one had two arms in the lead we American action now I take all put down and that Thorian stop or you're here until you get it right I am currently with the love of my life the woman I'm looking right now who I've looked for an eternity any woman I was looking for but first time I'm just young dumb full calm no she's a deal you know sometimes we didn't get right we didn't have an amazing son Nicholas Sebastian Kalia they came out of that joint to enjoy the military you know as I'm doing here that way I can take here's a woman I didn't have a money for college so join the military and military yes thank you sir no see you like that no bring out [Applause] I learned comedy triple-threat sing dance act starting to do all these things that allowed me to do what my dream is my dream is to be a major major artist and a major star not to make money take some chasing money you'll never catch saying that you have to follow your heart you know on stage money [Applause] money hurt delays my article is good money money hit the roof all the money ain't got don't take it like that but money is lubrication of life see you can't so but you got to do a thing cuz you love a thing the top which is romance romance you get the about rule called love and the love that I have first was my craft my arm I want to be the greatest artist I can be because if you follow your heart than God is your supply for where this guy reside except the center of your heart so close unit to your heart the closer you get the guy and so everything else comes to you if you do what's in your heart you moon I think my money people will bring you wheelbarrow the money he won't even spin Yoshi Yoshi so you follow your heart in my heart the crab so the craft took me to California what I want to go you know I became a street performer in Chicago in 1985 telling jokes pass them and I get excited because this guy named Eddie Murphy back then was the shit he was everything he had the best comedy show Saturday laughs he's a star yeah big movie raw biggest movie him wrong let's do it he's getting all that fuckin repot them with my mother's basement jokes and I feel good it like Mack stop – zebra rap – Z technique dizzy bro finally say hey baby I'm gonna take off in pyjamas Wow [Applause] so this Beach five hours they ever sending telling jokes pass my hat make six figures a year we you know tell jokes it was I was hit my niche I was gonna tell him what to do and while I'm down there the second love of my life Brooke Jax Brooke Jackson was a flight attendant on flight attendants still look like [Applause] like mommy's young slim sexy Gilda Brian you know Billy well she was sexy and we hit it off right away in fact it lasted a long time we we were married for 24 years we've been together for 28 yeah it was a good run but I think it's over immediately relationship everything's going good for a long time everything's making money three of our ones choked on Star Search and so that gave me a lot of popularity I mean talking head to the home the good I run the show but give it a half to the homeless made everybody come out till the hip hop me something in Venice Beach maybe be able to get my own special so now make money good money something came in the form trucks oh yeah Robin Williams is this okay this guy's will you're saying you make it too much damn money [Applause] we you know they're little blow do you Forex me you know you just don't wait for the never annoy key talk about the addiction oh my life was hoping my guess was it right there put the pipe clean hand Tim packs yeah one day I'm broken to my own damn [Applause] formal and everybody [Applause] in case the gym [Applause] [Applause] [Applause] [Applause] rather same time here cold snow up to your ankles I jump up stage went straight down left the exit door closed [Applause] [Applause] interfere with my beverage things weren't really working out you know things sort of fell off look it's not always handy yeah so think so too mom was happy just relax and enjoy the good life and I want it more I want it more and I want I want a daughter you know I met my wife she promised me to give me a child but once we got married she changed her mind I found him to have these conversations with people who've been do that shit a lot I wanted I have a son and I was determined that I have a daughter so I went looking for a woman's gonna be fly hot wild like me and would be willing to give me the door and I found a woman daddy said she was awesome and she would want to do it you don't a same thing I was doing it she will give me this child and she kept taking my wife to therapist told the situation so he could save her you need to give him that goddamn baby like eggs but perfectly it would be the problem what happened was she got pregnant and I only had one one rule please whatever we do we're not gonna hurt bricks I'm gonna go to her myself and tell her you know that and I'm leaving I'm coming to you baby but before I could do it my girlfriend and let me take some girlfriends girlfriend [Applause] I'd like to say I saw that with a t-shirt that t-shirt belongs to a friend of mine and Corey Holcomb microscope Oreo though she just fit right there so I'm borrowing it okay so she get pregnant and I I was going to tell Brooks myself one to break it to her gently but before I get home my girlfriend what I found the act of betrayal first this is Danny's I'm pregnant with Michael baby okay well okay and realize what situation what she said she forgive me if I never saw that woman again and never saw the child and I had to go forward because I felt guilty and I felt wrong and I said yesterday you know and you know but what I had broken you know we put on a good face I always character in the highest possible form and that's what I think men posted it you always hold your one to the high school um but still secretly – sweat like hot kilogram [Applause] [Applause] [Laughter] [Applause] that would turn my life around because I love you can't even talk about love if you can talk about your mom the Mozart is the essence of all of it I realize a child up to my mother what I saw y'all do today is what mothers do you brought these children are and let them dance and we honor them with praise now I'm really probably you do I feel foolish you let it rifle do that we black folk we some time shit I hear it now we got kids jumping around dancing Charlie you gotta sit yourself down fool it – we'll get you early to be ballerina [Applause] yeah [Applause] [Applause] [Applause] [Applause] [Applause] she's afraid of her [Applause] my mother in the deck they're like well if she is disrespected I see kids that they talk back they talk back to their parents I've heard of the legroom Waikiki's come back to decide you can talk back to my mom what do you sleep he'll do under your breath mothers do you ever second sense well you can hear with your children too and yeah but he decided he will see so morally disrespectful on his breast shit [Applause] my mother [Applause] [Applause] Washington [Applause] my mother is full of love and so I come up loving and respecting women I might say bitch once or twice they're my family act but it's not part of a show you don't let me say that you're in conversation with nobody ever saying that I love you and respect you too much me and always been playing my whole don't see me like a king you forget the tree children are like the Queen a great Queen Kelly Kelly we can right now but we engage big I can't that mirror FMF killer tell me that ring back [Applause] we're almost there people might not kill yet but almost the young lady had a beautiful daughter for me the daughter turned seven and I had to go back to Brookes because I promised I would never seen this one or see that child so I had to go to my church agape in Los Angeles were from Michael Beckwith and Spears I'm not religious I'm spiritual for me the difference is religious people seem to think that I am spiritual people have already been there several times [Applause] promise I have this child when I promised I would never see the baby again and he said brother that's not a promise you could make he'd go home but tell your wife if you have a child and you want to earn that baby and raise that child and we have father and that's what I did and what I did that guess what she understood she went to do it in a bad person it was a knee-jerk reaction from her being hurt from my betrayal of her as I had a chance to raise my child and we still my wife would I'd love a friendship relationship the relationship really wasn't there anymore remember people everything it's about communications and relationships how do you communicate with people how do you relate with them will determine how you get along with Howard jails so we were friends but the relationship was gone we weren't really there like that and this is where I met my claim my truly the one I took for an eternity her name is Kelly in fact I met her at church and I was even looking for nobody else applies I tell some jokes but I still shit wait until joke – oh hey but thankfully flies I pass them out then I saw her her eyes are great she have dreadlocks to her waist and she too might be like my mother my mother same height Shiva has the high cheekbones I'm gonna have high cheekbones and she wasn't light-skinned she's like bright and she had good hair your black folks people to get high cheekbones and good idiot it's Tiki and fuck with my grandparents I'm just sayin hi Thomas the wood by the UM what she reminded my mother but she's different from me she's different as night and day first of all she's a vegetarian and I'm not analogous more people not vegetarian the little chick that's me a thing in a stereotype if it's true we love chicken they have thank all men town disease like you I say she flew we little fuckin cheese [Applause] when I need a cheap I am doing the Lord's work let me play myself God created everything with purpose what's the purpose of a chicken if it's not to eat did you take any will do shit for you chick cake bring a new thing chicken ok protection – can you make fire chicken go and shit with a chicken but she ain't having it affect heavily will not eat anything – ever had a heart or a face she writes realizes that she doesn't want something to scream out in terror just so she could have a sandwich and I get that I get that you know because I had an experience so the Wolfgang Puck restaurant he was nice Xinhua if you sit right at the counter and watch to make the food on a particular day the ship had a high flame he set this killing the flame seeing skillet and you filled it with olive oil very healthy a live crab and said it in that and it screamed out dice and shit but when I get to the next shot [Applause] oh yeah so Lucy thought we should chat describe myself Wow okay are you on Facebook yes on Facebook this is my facebook everybody can't be my fake will drink okay first of all you can't be my facebook friend if your picture and opinion it's cold you can't be somebody UK you're making me Robert tickets and you put it perfect okay I don't picture your pet and if you some fellas all buff this shit with your shirt off and hold up no nigga you ain't my fries something on your facebook she said yelling sorry I know I kid you not forever she she is so kind she loved me so deeply she is something extra to drive about she a bad motherfucker if I wasn't me I would have been her she is pretty what I believe supposed to be first and foremost to her man she's my friend so rabbi get it right and fuck it up she will always be by my side and wish me an Indian Ashley and so I could walk on water and fly through the sky because she's already here then when I first met her about I told it you know them I'm still unmarried I'm trying to get out of it it was not seeing each other you know people always tell you this shit oh man the she loved me my spirit my heart my soul wasn't there and I see the beam was her on step so we started seeing each other and the first time we made love she cried like baby I see it lets see it lost my dick [Applause] but [Applause] no see sadness bed and cried his do a relative of time I mean she cried violently and I said why are you crying baby she said how can we do this we love God we love our church agape we love Michael Beckwith we're supposed to try to do the right thing how can we do this and I'm like well because we love each other but I'm in a situation that I ganna get out of this woman 28 years married for 24 Mexican kids to the curb you own your own I've done everything for her I've raised all the money I gotta make sure she okay that's my technique about two years and she's like well outside [Applause] but we've got that might see you did they would let you do and when you're in a relationship and you want to talk about romance it's a job man relationships is a job and the job is to love each other up and lift each other up all the time it's not part-time marry me all day I came home the cards shit almost every week I get more cards if I know the fuck they got Easter card I actually love it every time she will never get tired of their young men and older gentlemen here valiant woman flowers man every grocery store sells flowers for $10 for a bushel of roses fruit you get to tell them to $10 shit take a breath take off tickets and come on and give them the flowers now if you cut an inch off them flowers every day put on the fresh water that $10 investment will last five days you know how a woman feels she get up every day becoming more beautiful or doing get some special sheet [Applause] and let me tell you this if your woman ain't worth tens out there ballast you need to change moving and um his ease is I always do flash tougher I wasn't out ooh you alert this I won't get a chef to come and cook for us in lunch okay to do a vegetarian lunch for my queen and I saw a movie today three coats okay you need to wear your cooking to smash your head you know you got an assistant bring your sister they'll bring that she's here cook it's the kitchen you come and live in Shepherd okay Clinton a beautiful minion with the meals on it you know and then she even put on the back ingredient of everything because she know my mom is a vegan and my mom is rude oh god she's real touchy does she be saying fuck every day they're cream in the cream is cream jumpin please don't play with people who have to bring you yo dick several times I'm gonna say I put my dick oh don't play with the way she played wait no I mean now no I'm with my difference but and the menu was perfect and it listed everything and she took it was so blown away she can tell you what I did for a fifth anniversary I went out to Texas don't get the words I love you tattooed – yo Bing Lee happy anniversary she read is she saying that a day okay first of all Jim had a dress didn't want to have cook 91 type of words of a mouth [Applause] but in a relationship in relationship you better play that was one aki-nee's that you mentioned that just let me know you would be so successful your man get up you're saying that horse of course of course you play you dance if you do things for each other you remember the child within you man and then you share you love each other up for no other reason ever had to be no birthday that is shit just cause you woke up last I wake up and see my queen I'm in heaven she smiles at me oh that's my first thing I do want to get up in the morning as I say my prayers well I brush my teeth first I'm like ugh God we're dirty mouth but the end then I pray put my prayers are always prayers of gratitude I'm not big Oh God you you have to beg God for anything God wants me to have what I want to have that's why you be careful what you ask for because the universe is going to give it big thank you God you know what God woke me up this morning you have to do that for me that was pretty damn nice but then I clean because it's about balance in the Hebrew faith then a book called town would download said that God created all souls is perfect halves and when you find your half is called a bruschetta if it's the manager for shared once you find your halves you become whole and your heart seems a royal song and you never have to look again you didn't find you I found my be shared I found a woman who makes my heart sing or royal song so I don't have to go look in the way I ain't interested no more everything I want is where I reside all she has to do is look at me and I'm done I call her here shit right now that I can do further right this min why I'm talking to you I can shut off your tab you wanna put it let me take some up on fucking bear teddy bear this beat she made me sit in graz come on buddy come on bring this shit home every day and what is she doing the same thing loving me back loving me up lift me up remembering this guy first having fun but like to live this life you really go to eat with fuck when you want to get in the water you don't ever walk out this and when you to find your perfect mate Satori which I think you've done Karen 10 did you do what you did twice no just working to get you when you find the one there life becomes a royal dance don't believe you life being sorrowful don't be regretful God created us to have a great time anybody tell you did you get something for goddamn motherfucking lie there's my guardian upset there's no body that show me that shit God didn't say we don't have to suffer everything we have is on this planet once we learn about loving each other and giving to each other there'll be so much for everybody we'll have to store things away it's about love and love is God the word is interchangeable and if you want it you have to be it likely won't be your friend but they want free whatever happy one you have to be kind to get kind be love to get love and when you find the right one Satori Karen dang when you find that very much nurtured hold it squeeze them all the time we think it's at night what can I do for tomorrow disability mass no surprise right love no good [Applause] put on me really so my mother transcend I don't see die as long as you hold people in your heart there live with I talk to my mother every day every decision she thought my mother God is watching me all of us to my mother God that's kind of like a want to live my queen helps me be there to remind you you want to get off step I say the wrong thing right sometimes go too far we're all human so what we're supposed to do is nurture each other hold him to tell us Fiorito one of us thinks I'm not a laugh pull that other one back and save them but walk through this world with kindness walk through this world knowing that you my brother if I see my brother in everyone then I have no one to fight I don't see a white man as my opposite I see you as my brother this is my brother what the fuck we don't fight about if you my problem you know society will play with you they'll make you think everything black is bad oh okay you go to do you were black or white oh how bad look you know white but then when they want some motherfucking money it's Black Friday so don't shit me with your heart remember that love is not linear they're making bumps and things in the way that throws you off but stealing your path stay on the path of love keep God first I apologize to anyone was offended by my words but God created all of them and he knows my heart I don't know what I'm talking about and let me tell you we agree that motherfucker is motherfucker in the beginning wouldn't have worked a rock we agree to these words but good or bad you wouldn't find the word and no religious doctrine which breaks down with the bad words of it worth if people trying to control you if I have been able to deliver my message it does not matter what the words are either you gather do what you did and if you did you had a good time you learned something you have to learn if you did not bless you anyway keep on saying this shit cause they paid you too much money to start so so I want to say thank you Mike my queen is also I want to say thank you to Satori Shakur to my friends who shared the stage when two great people like like Dick Gregory great great man to this institution this hear stories [Applause] just that here and tell your truth because if you tell your truth 86 percent of the people in the audience have experienced the same things that you and they will resonate to you they will feel it didn't get it and they're gonna be alright and if they not alright that's all right too because everything's in divine order God is running all of you see there is no air for an even he isn't even God is everything ringing shit there ain't no middle road and for me God is everything and as long as I keep God first I can do everything in my sobriety man I'm going everything right now right now I'm gonna one-man show that I've children called Michael K his mama we did ten and Hollywood then they brought me down to the National Black Theatre Festival butthat's forty eight plays manifold at number one so February 23rd seven years of riot everything you're seeking is seeking you just get out of your own way and let it come my name is Michael Tao and I hope you doing [Applause] Michael Collins [Applause]




Comments
  1. I was really lucky, I touched so many performers just before they bloomed. I would always ask God what about me, some times it's not about us but how God gets his message across is through his children, us. I should be blessed and excited the he used me for these words of encouragement or what it meant for them when he said it through me. I have more names Jamie Foxx & Jim Carrey, Jamie at a club in Ladera Heights, he the blue florescent lights my buddy Reggie I played Pop Warner football with at Dorsey was managing that night. Jim Carrey twice, once in Culver City I walked through a movie shoot by accident and saw him and shook his had telling how amazing he was not knowing I just stopped a movie being filmed. Then Cidar Sinai in Le mans class he didn't come the first time another guy did then he came the second time and we talked. Funny both Jamie and Jim got on In Living Color at the same time, one month after I met Jamie.

  2. I met the brotha years ago when I worked at the Alpha Beta on Santa Monica and FairFax, like I met so many others, Keenen Ivory Wayans, Demi Moore, Jim Brown, Cindy Crawford & many others. This brotha is a blessing and I wish him the greatest luck always.

  3. Michael colyar is so funny i wish Paul Mooney dick Gregory an michael colyar was on radio together an talk about everything that is funny on how the world has changed for black people

  4. Thank you Michael Coylar. This show was absolutely amazing. So many truths told and so many experiences shared. You remind of Richard Pryor, you curse but it had so much meaning. Today so many comics can't do what you just did!!

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