The Key to Unhappiness


How many times have you heard someone say
they want to make a better world? It is noble sentiment, but very hard to achieve,
right? Well, actually, it’s quite easy. All we have to do is increase just one human
trait. This trait is so powerful that it alone can
make people happier without working on their happiness, and make them better – and by
“better” I mean more generous, more honest, more kind, more everything good – without
a single lesson in morality. So, then, what is this one almost magical
thing? Drumroll please. It’s gratitude. You can’t be a happy person if you aren’t
grateful and you can’t be a good person if you aren’t grateful. Almost everything good flows from gratitude,
and almost everything bad flows from ingratitude. Let’s begin with ingratitude. Here’s a rule of life: Ingratitude guarantees
unhappiness. It’s as simple as that. There isn’t an ungrateful happy person on
Earth. And there isn’t an ungrateful good person on Earth. There are two reasons. Reason One is victimhood. Ingratitude always leads to or comes from
victimhood. Ungrateful people, by definition, think of
themselves as victims. And perceiving oneself as a victim or perceiving
oneself as a member of a victim group may be the single biggest reason people hurt other
people — from hurtful comments to mass murder. People who think of themselves as victims
tend to believe that because they have been hurt by others, they can hurt others. And the second reason ungrateful people aren’t
good people is that ingratitude is always accompanied by anger. The ungrateful are angry, and angry people
lash out at others. If ingratitude makes people unhappy and mean,
then gratitude must make people happy and kind. And so it does. Think of the times you have felt most grateful
– were they not always accompanied by a feeling of happiness? Weren’t they also accompanied by a desire to be kinder to other people? The answer, of course, is yes. Grateful people aren’t angry, and they don’t see themselves as victims. The problem, however, and it’s a big one,
is that in America and much of the rest of the world people are becoming
less grateful. Why? Because people are constantly told that they
are entitled to things they haven’t earned – what are known as “benefits” or “entitlements.” The more things that people think they should
get, the less grateful they will be for whatever they do get. And the more angry – and therefore unhappy
– they will be when they don’t get them. Here’s are two rules of life: Rule number one. The less you feel entitled to, the more gratitude you will feel for whatever you get and the happier you will be. Rule number two. The more you feel entitled to, the less happy you will be. That’s why, for example, children who get
whatever they want are usually less happy children. We have a word for such children – spoiled. And no one thinks of a spoiled child as a
happy child – and certainly not a kind one. The more that you feel that life or society
owes you, the angrier you will get, the less happy you will be. As a result, we are increasing the number
of angry, unhappy, and selfish people. The other way we are making people unhappy, and even meaner, is by cultivating a sense of victimhood. People are constantly told that they are victims
because of their upbringing, because of past prejudice against their group, because of
material inequality, because they are female, and for many other reasons. Next time you want to assess any social policy,
ask this question first: Will this policy increase or decrease gratitude
among people? You will then know whether it is something
that will bring more goodness and happiness to the world. Or less. If I were granted one wish, it would be that
all people be grateful. Gratitude is the source of happiness, and
the source of goodness; and the more good people, and the more happy people there are
walking around, the happier and better our world will be. If you have a way of achieving such a world
without increasing gratitude, let me know what it is. I’m Dennis Prager.




Comments
  1. Absolutely happy to see there are 27K LIKES vs 923 dislikes… that has just increased my faith in humanity. Always thought there is more good than evil in the world but sometimes it doesn't feel that way. 2.1 million subscribers is a wow! good to know there are so many people who appreciate logic…

  2. Well, Denis Pregger, I guess I am a bad person then. Sorry I was physically abused as a child. Maybe you should talk to all the victims of pedophiles and tell them they are bad people because they are angry at what happened to them. I guess all them African children stuck mining Cobalt with no protective equipment 14 hours a day should be grateful too.

  3. Haha the perpetual victims (blacks/brown) are never happy or ever grateful for ANYTHING !!!!! "They" are given tons of opportunities and "they" squander every single one of them !!!!!!! And that why "they" are what's wrong with America !!!!!!

  4. Thank you so much for posting this video nearly two years prior to today. I had just watched this on my other account just a few minutes ago when I had just been extremely enraged about something foolish. I had thought that blocking out my pain would make me happier before, but recently I heard that just letting the pain through your heart would somehow allow you to release it, aka "the only way out is through" notion. It certainly helped a little, but the suffrage I went through was still in my heart and I didn't know what to do except to keep feeling angry. Then I came across this video and got a better understanding of what Gratitude and entitlement are, and after analyzing this notion in comparison to my life I came to the conclusion that I was in fact being entitled to merely feeling pleased and happy all the time, which is why I hadn't felt pleased and happy at all. Now that I realize just how much entitlement is opposite to gratitude, I know now that if I want to lead a truly joyous life and not one focused on victimhood that I need to not just count my blessings but to examine myself further about what I feel entitled to and what about it I shall become grateful for. Thank you Dennis Prager and Prager U. I just wanted to let you know that you had taught someone an extremely invaluable lesson about living a better life.

  5. You can't always be grateful (for example, when teacher isn't fair with grades), but being always ungrateful to anything and anyone is problemetic. When people hurt just because you're an eye sore no need to be grateful. I'm talking abour people rather than govermenr, as it's complicated. But then again, I can't think if a reason for the black slaves at the time be torn from their home and family and becming slaves.

  6. Ironically, Buddhist-Hinduist culture teaches this important lesson, while Judeo-Christian culture does not.

  7. Looking back on this video, something that people also need to be wary of is that there are reasonable entitlements such as genuine human rights.

  8. Another thing that proves the Bible's truth.
    "He who is greedy for gain troubles his own house, but he who hates bribes will live."
    Proverbs 15: 27, NHEB

  9. I am grateful for Trump exposing the media, the corrupt politicians, the out of touch Hollywood elite and the psychotic liberals.

  10. I'm a victim of NJ school system… Only the teachers union takes all the money though they own all the houses $10000.00 15000.00 school taxes… How long b 4 the golden goose stop laying eggs…?

  11. While I agree with most of the information here except for @2:02 . I think Ingratitude is accompanied by envy, which then leads to anger…

  12. Hey oh god it's nt able to spread out only hit da inside of da local you tube wall 😍 anyway it's nt Europe, it's india especially silly Tamilnadu 👞🏃

  13. I just realized this is a huge element of happiness in (practicing) Christians. We KNOW that we're entitled to NOTHING. And yet, while we were entitled to NOTHING, God gave us EVERYTHING, at the cost of his own death on a cross. You can't know that and not be infinitely grateful to your core. On top of that, to know that we are called to love like Christ loves, and that this means we should EXPECT the cross, and suffering, for ourselves? Talk about a recipe for happiness according to the formula of this video 😉 Every little blessing is enormous in the day, from birdsong to seeing someone 'try', to even just recognizing our physical health or our current shelter when we sleep at night. Because we know we're not entitled to it, and it's not even promised to us: only suffering and death is promised to us — but after that, life eternal.

  14. Prager, you may be smarter in other respects but not when it comes to analysing the psycholgy of morality.

  15. 0:05 – I don't think much about the sentence "I want to make a better world" but the moment I accidentally see it on Justin Biber's Twitter's account, I know that it's full of shit, one who say it have no idea what they are talking about. 😂

  16. I've always felt grateful and happy…until about a year ago when I got with with my current boyfriend (I took about 2 years to try and help him see the good). He has always been so ungrateful and it has worn me down….He has literally sucked the soul out of me. I worry I have lost myself.

  17. Unfortunately having ungrateful people who believe they are victims wins you elections. Happened in 2016 and looks like 2020 will be more of the same from both sides.

  18. I can't wait for my brother and niece to see this. I hope it speaks to them. They're angry Leftists who have no idea that they're not good people at all. They talk endlessly about how terrible OTHER people are, but they never, ever do anything good for anyone else. No matter what they have, it's never good enough.

  19. This is the very heart of New Age teachings in Sedona, AZ, where spiritual fraud and con artists flourish. Here the belief that there is no such thing as a victim has been enshrined as gospel truth. I'm not sure about victims, but I'm 100% sure there are predators and many thoroughly evil people who are grateful for their success, so by itself gratitude is not an automatic path to goodness.

  20. While I agree with the first part of the video, the second half seems aimed at people who rather than having a sense of entitlement, have a good knowledge of their rights- taking about victimhood or about being part of a victim group is clearly a political act, rather than just saying being grateful for what you do have and make the best of it. Victimisation is real and it is very difficult for anyone to admit to have been a victim- whether of crime, unfair working practices or any other kind of poor treatment but here the presenter is clearly, though not honestly or directly implying that groups of people who have genuine grievances should simply accept their lot and not complain. While no- one should be encouraged to develop a general sense of grievance as it is counterproductive to a healthy attitude to life, we are used to PragerU pushing free market, conservative values. And as for claiming the mantle of victimhood, few people are as resentful as wealthy people who are expected to contribute to the overall health and welfare of society by paying their fair share of taxes and would oppose universal healthcare for example, on the grounds that this would be socialised medicine. These videos are trying to make political capital out of the appearance of offering common sense advice and while no/ one would disagree that an attitude of self- entitlement is unlikely to get you anywhere, what the presenter is being measly mouthed about saying is that people who have traditionally suffered disadvantages and unfair discrimination, through no fault of their own, should simply pull themselves together and carry on, while privileged people like the presenter enjoy their unearned comforts and perks, because they have been given many advantages and been granted quite a few favours to get to the position of having s public platform on which to air their views and opinions, usually disingenuously

  21. While the point may be general. I don't think it's entirely true. I am an orphan. Both parent dead by age 3. Beaten by guardians, alone and emancipated minor at 15, all other family members died by age 50. I have never felt entitled to anything. But having absolutely no one in the entire world is something that 99% of people NEVER have to know. Sometimes people truly have been victimized. Example1 Black veteran attempts to by condo. They know about it before it come on market, but is is in an all white area of town. HUD property has policy at the time that first full bid wins or if no full bid closet to it by end of window get the property. Vet puts in full bid early. Realtor holds bid until last hour of last day to be sure they don't get it. Example2 Black computer tech has a new idea for computer service in the 80's. Federal SBA says it's a great idea/good business plan and approval $250K loan, pending approval of a local bank doing a min local investment loan of $50k or more. Tech get told by largest bank in area " you people don't do tech"! 2nd largest says something similar. Three other banks say if the 1st two banks aren't interested neither are they. There are other examples. So you cannot just say, it doesn't exist, or that there sometimes isn't a double standard, that some have easier access than others. There should NOT be anything but EQUAL OPPORTUNITY and ACCESS. Not quotas and forced positions. In these examples, they weren't entitled to the condo or the loan. But neither did they get equal treatment either.

  22. When he started explaining ingratitude in people someone I know came to mind so strongly that my heart started beating faster.
    I wanna… send this to them… Maybe it will help.

  23. A positive message. A powerful video. Gratitude is so good for oneself and one's relationships with others.

  24. My parents teach me to be super grateful and to spend my own money. Now when my parents spend money on something I want, I feel guilty lol

  25. Almost a thousand victims disliked this video. I'm grateful for such a insight into why i'm so constantly happy with hardly any effort. This is good information to pass along.

  26. I came from Humble beginnings in an immigrant house-hold. Today, there kids (grown adults) who where born with everything they wanted telling me I'm oppressed by the 1% 🤷‍♂️… And I make too much money 🤦‍♂️… Get your life together before you tell other people about happiness and fulfillment.

  27. The key to happiness is a world without war, without self serving politicians, without the Left, without sanctimonious liberal Hollywood actors, without a gay agenda, without pornography, without gratuitous sex and violence on tv and the movies. Did I mention without the Left? The list goes on.
    In other words call out and clean up the garbage in society and we and our children will fare much better devoid of all these evils.
    Uh oh, sounds dictatorial. So be it.

  28. The world is not black and white
    Its like if im gratefull for killing a loud dog im happy cause i did it but did i doo something good

  29. Once you realise and accepted the greatest gift for humanity, i bet you will be grateful with anything, like rain, sunshine, air you breath in and water in the faucet. Everything becomes a blessing.

  30. Liberals are happier than conservatives. Liberals also live longer and make more money. Google it cornflakes

  31. You’re leaving out the individual, and what the individual values.

    You can’t expect the individual to be grateful for something forced upon them, which is an opportunity cost which potentially takes away everything of value to them.

    What’s worse — the biggest mistake anyone can make in psychology is inadvertently punishing good behavior. That’s disastrous.

    _____

    Should people be grateful for our ’amazing’ education system? You’re forced to go through it for most careers (not merely a ‘job’).

    The majority of all students end up forced out of the education system, and the vast majority of those are due to factors totally unrelated to competency. That’s a fact.

    If the education were competency based, those people would have careers… and much more.

    On top of that they’re forced into indentured servitude (yes, that’s what it is — you can’t declare bankruptcy on federal student loan debt). That legal concept wasn’t popular with slavery, and it’s probably not the best thing to bring back.

    In addition — you’re most likely not going to have a family or any meaningful relationship, due to the fact that primary determinant of relationship success is dependent on career and financial success… almost solely determined by that.

  32. i can see this as describing today's helpless SJW band, but I can't quite understand how the anger and energy that made people turn up to vote for DJT somehow leads to ingratitude. People who voted for Trump are not ungracious, for the most part, but nor are we happy either. just thinking out loud here through a dichotomous lens.

  33. Screw you man its easier said than done, a true key to happiness is having the money to help yourself, and I'm talking from personal experience here!

  34. I get that this video is referring to your typical SJW. However, there are many things that you should not be grateful for, and which you SHOULD get angry at. For instance, chain migration, birthright citizenship, terrible schools due to unmitigated illegal immigration, etc. You don't have to perceive yourself as a victim to have feelings of ingratitude and anger.

  35. "Please sir, can I have some more?" Oliver Twist; ungrateful scum in the eyes of Dennis Prager no doubt. – Right wing extremism straight from the pit of hell!

  36. The biblical story of Iob illustrates this quite well. Once a rich man with many women and beloved children, he was always faithful to God. Once natural disasters took them all away from him, and his spouses and children died, and his riches vanished, he was still faithful to God, because all those were His creations, so Iob wasn't entitled to them, and might have never had them from the beginning, had God not gifted them to him (it didn't matter how hard he tried for him). And for his gratitude, Iob was gifted again, and his riches were restored, and he had new women and children (in those days, it was usual for people to have many women, also the loss of his children and women doesn't have to be litteral i.e. God killed them because they were his possessions, but more metaphorical, as one's women and children were in fact considered his possessions.

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