The CURE for SOCIAL ANXIETY



القلق الاجتماعي مشكلة كبيرة يعاني منها كثير من الأشخاص، وسأكون صريحاً معكم فقد كان أمراً عانيت منه كثيراً في مرحلة الثانوية و في أيامي الأولى في الجامعة والسبب الذي يشعرنا بالقلق خصوصاً عند حضور مجموعة كبيرة من الأشخاص الذين لا نعرفهم هو ما يجري في رأسنا، فمثلا لحظة ذهابك إلى حفلة ما فإن سرعان ما يتبادر في ذهنك عن ماذا كانوا يهمسون، ماذا يعتقد الناس عني هل بدوت كالأحمق وبسبب تلك الأفكار نبدأ بالشعور بالقلق ونشعر بأن الأشخاص من حولنا يراقبونا بانتظار أن نرتكب خطأ ما وهذا ما كان يحدث معي في كل حفلة حضرتها فقد كنت متوتراً ولكن جميعهم تغيروا بالنسبة لي بعد أن بدأت بقراءة كتاب يدعى "ما يقوله الجميع" وهو كتاب كتبه عميل فيدرالي سابق والذي يعلمك كيفية قراءة الناس عن طريق النظر إلى لغة جسدهم ويعلمك أشياء أخرى مثل إذا قام شخص بشبك ذراعيه متخذا بذلك وضعية الدفاع وذلك يعني بأنه إما يشعر بأنه في خطر أو أنه غير سعيد بالموقف بامكانك معرفة ما إذا كان شخص آخر يريد إنهاء محادثة ما عن طريق اتجاه أقدامهم فإذا كانت قدمها متجه نحو الباب فستعلم أنها تريد الخروج من المكان بأسرع وقت ممكن أشياء مثل هذه وبمجرد تعلمك لهذه الأمور واستيعابك لهذه المفاهيم ستبدأ بملاحظتها أكثر وستلاحظ كيف يقف الناس وأين تتجه أقدامهم وستستطيع القول من هو العصبي ومن هو الذي يستمتع بوقت رائع كما يمكنك تخمين الحالة الذهنية للشخص وما سيحدث بعد ذلك أمرا عظيما فبدلا من التركيز على نفسك طيلة الوقت ستصبح أفكارك تركز على الأشخاص من حولك إذا في المرة القادمة التي تكون فيها في تجمعٍ ما لن تقول ماذا يفكر الناس عني أوه هل أبدو كغريب أطوار بل سيكون اوه هذا مثير للانتباه يبدو أنه لا يستمتع بوقته أتساءل لماذا أو أوه هذا مثير للانتباه يبدو أنها ليست مهتمة به أتساءل لماذا، وبمجرد أن تركز أفكارك على الآخرين ستدرك بأنه لا أحد يفكر بك فمعظم الأشخاص منشغلون يفكرون في أنفسهم وبمجرد استيعابك لذلك وبمجرد أن تثبت لنفسك بأن هذه هي الحقيقة سيحدث شئ جميل ستدرك بأنه لا أحد يراقبك أو يراقب أفعالك وبمجرد استيعابك لهذا المفهوم فإن أرقك الاجتماعي يمكن أن يختفي حرفيا بين عشية وضحاها إذا لهؤلاء الذين مثلك ممن يعانون من الأرق الاجتماعي عليهم البدء بتعلم لغة الجسد ومراقبة الآخرين فأنا أضمن لكم بأنه ستتغير طريقة تفكيركم ومشاعركم لمن حولكم فلن يعود هناك أنا أنا أنا أنا أنا بل سيكون أنت أنت أنت والأمر المضحك أنه حين تقوم بمراقبة الآخرين وعندما تقوم بالاهتمام لمشاعرهم في مناسبة اجتماعية خمن ماذا سيحدث سوف يعجبون بك أكثر وأكثر، ابقوا بالقرب..




Comments
  1. This is weird but i think my brain is looking at everyone more than myself if that makes sense. Like when im doing my work in school but i look at my surroundings more/ppl in it than focusing on whats more important. I cant even walk behind someone cause they always look back cause i guess i look at them unintentionally cause i care so much about what theyll think of me… Ive never experienced what it feels like to look at the board in school without feeling tons weight on myself and without making everyone else uncomfortable. Ive never really lived life in conclusion. Since ive recalled old memories of me acting this way all the way back to the 4th grade. Ive never felt what its like to be a ‘normal human’…and i dont think ill ever will. Im going to high school this year..online schooling looks more promising 😞future me, i hope you wont be like this forever. I commented because i dont know..not like anyone would listen anyway.

  2. I was such a social child and really didnt care what others Thought of me

    As I’m growing up everything is changing,I hate socializing.i spend most of my days in the internet which actually makes me feel just right in comfort zone

  3. Honestly , i don't think i'll ever leave my social anxiety but i'm on medicine,
    BUT again, i let it take control of me due to social-phobia that i also have- which i'm fine with tbh uvu

  4. Anyone who says, just don't think like that, obviously doesn't understand the disorder. WE KNOW that it's irrational, but we can't control the thoughts that follow us everywhere! it's not something we need to realize, then poof! it's gone!
    That's not how it works!
    It took me developing SAD to understand that I didn't know better than everyone else what it was.

  5. they always make an example about walking through a party…i have social anxiety and parties dont trigger me, to me is worse to be in a conversation one to one, than surrounded by people because then i dont need to be on spot. What scares me is going to work and make mistakes, asking for things, not understanding somehting, that people make me do stuff, the bosses, etc. Going to work is hell, but parties , i dont give a fk

  6. This is wrong.

    So we're going to be doing the opposite (thinking about others). That just makes me think that they're doing that themselves…

    So what you're telling to the people with anxiety, is to be like what they feel anxious about in the first place (the fear in how other people see them).

    Nope.

  7. the issue with this is that it works for certain people only. Im the type of person that takes this technique too far ( like im sure some others do as well) by too far i mean i would end up shutting myself out of the social encounters and becoming a spectator becoming hypersensitive to the actions and reactions of the people around me, causing me to miss the social cues to interact with others. In my case what should i do since this technique actually worsens my social anxiety and make me even more of an outcast since others become aware and confused with my lack of social interaction

  8. this is why i have social anxiety tho becasue i think about people all the time so why woudlnt they be doing the same unless im just weird

  9. But what if you feel like everyone is talking about you anyway. My anxiety is definitely caused by people judging me, so by not watching them I can’t get the wrong idea about what they’re doing or saying? I try not to look at people because when I see them talking or looking my way I automatically assume they’re being negative about me ☹️

  10. I think the social anxiety i have is diff. I dont think that people are waiting for me to mess up. It more of thinking im always being watvced and stared at with dirty eyes and when people whisper i think its about me then i swallow soooo much constantly in class my lips get dry and eyes and i blink so much and i feel so uncomfotablee

  11. Wow. And here I thought there might be something useful in this video with all of the thumbs up this vid received.
    I have social anxiety. And it's not because I care about what other people think. In fact, I know the majority of them don't care. But that doesn't stop me from suffering from anxiety attacks at random times in classroom settings. (Funny, because outside of classroom settings I'm fine.) And they're not mild attacks either.
    Seems like the best "cure" that actually yields results (that I've found) is improv classes. Nothing like throwing yourself into a frying pan.

  12. i love that the solution proposed by the video is to stop thinking that other people are thinking about you, and this is achieved by…wait for it…thinking about other people instead of yourself! Of course, when you start doing the latter, you become one of those (the video would have it) imaginary people that are thinking about other people instead of themselves. So in conclusion, the cure for social anxiety is to lie to yourself, telling yourself that other people aren't thinking about you and judging you, when in fact they most certainly are.

  13. This is funny because what you’re saying is to start judging other ppl instead of judging yourself. I guess I see where you’re coming from, this makes you the judge which is the type person ppl with social anxiety are trying to avoid

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