My quest to unite
the world’s religionsmay have failed, but
I’m still waiting on someoneto tell me why religion
even exists at all.Someone’s got to sell it
to this atheist.And when it comes
to selling God,no one does it like
the Christians.They’ve got missionaries
hassling people about Jesusaround the globe.So, I sat down with one,
and he started his sales pitchby telling me what his life
would look likeif there was no God.I would be a pirate.
If there’s no — If God doesn’t exist,
I’m a pirate. -A pirate?
-Why not? You do like you do.
You just — One-night stands. You murder people.
You do whatever you want. You’re on a boat
with a whole lot of men. How many one-night stands
are there? So, that’s what you would do?
See, I don’t believe in God, and I don’t believe
in rape, as well. I don’t believe you
should murder people. -I don’t believe you should —
-Why? Why not? ‘Cause it’s wrong.
Why would I take another — Wrong by who? If you’re
just evolved sludge,
it doesn’t matter. -I still have morals.
-Whose morals are right? No, there are right morals
and wrong morals. Maybe, maybe not. Don’t be a dick to people. Why not be one? -Because it’s being a dick.
-Well, so what? All right, so you’re
saying that Christianity is stopping people
from doing bad things. That’s right.So, if religion
keeps people in line,shouldn’tallcriminals
be atheists?Well, according to
the United Nations,countries with the highest
murder rates in the worldare also some of
the most religious.And the least murdery places,like Sweden, Japan, and Norway,
have loads of non-believers.If you’re in the business
of running a church,these are not good stats.They need new asses in seats.When they can’t reach adults,
they aim younger.-Man: This is Jesus.
-Hey-oh! Why does Christianity
market itself to kids? Whether you’re talking
about religion or whether you’re talking
about Happy Meals, you want to get kids
when they’re young so that they’ll use it forever
and ever and ever and ever. My son, at 4, has to pledge
to the flag under one God. -He has to use those words.
Children: “…under God.” He doesn’t even know
about God yet. I haven’t mentioned it to him.
Why would I? Why should he
have to do that? That seems to be, to me,
something that is a rule, something that you
have to be made to do. There was a man.
He was called Noah. Noah put two of each animal
onto a great, big boat. Who believes this happened? Wrong. Children shouldn’t learn
about God straight away because you can’t join
the army at a young age because your brain
is not well-developed. You can’t smoke cigarettes
or drink alcohol or something before you
reach a certain age because you’re not ready. Except for
your eternal life, which we tell children
about from age 2 and this is
your decision. It’s a seed,
like everything. -Is there a hell?
-Yes. Now, what happens
to children who aren’t privileged
to be born into America? So, a simple example — Australia, where Christianity
is substantially less. [ Choir vocalizing ] It’s just a very
remarkable thing that children who grow up
in a Christian society are lucky enough to be born
with the right God to go to the right heaven,
but if you’re born into a Muslim society,
then you’re going to hell because you don’t believe
in the right god and they believe
in vice versa. Why are those people
disadvantaged? Well, we send missionaries
all over the world, and there are Christians in
every culture of the world. -Yes.
-Muslim ones keep it low-down because they don’t
want to be killed for
changing their religion, but when the truth of the Gospel
gets ahold of them and they actually realize
the reality of it and the truth of it and they
believe it, they’re converted. What I’m about to say here,
I’m not trying to poke fun. Sure. The shooting in Las Vegas,
where was God? -In heaven. Here.
-Why does he let that happen? Why does he let
children get cancer? Well, it’s one of the biggest
questions there is. You have a good God, and you have a fallen world
that does bad things. Mm-hmm. You think that guy was
a churchgoing Christian that blasted all those people? I do not think that. I know there was many
churchgoing Christians who were shot and killed. It was a country-music show. Right,
and the next second, they opened their eyes in
heaven, and they’re facing God. And their children are
parentless down here, crying, and their lives
are ruined. You know, I don’t have all the
answers for all those things that are very difficult
and we struggle with, but the fact is, this is not
the best of all possible worlds. This is the pathtothat.Nah!
Still not buying it.“There is no answer”
is not an answer!Look, religious friends.
I’ll remind you again.There’s been an awful lot
of invading, killing, bombing,burning, raping, and shaming
done in the name of God.So, if you really want
to convince me,try cutting that shit out.I’d even consider going
to heaven and hanging outwith a bunch of
boring Christians.On one condition.Are we in our best state? Am I, like,
Jim Jefferies 2002, when I was, like, full head
of hair, I was like 25. I was rocking it out,
right? Or am I
Jim Jefferies now? Ugh…Bit fat. Better teeth, sure. You’re gonna be your best,
your absolute best. Whatever God had
intended for you, that’s what it will be. So, what I’m hearing from you
is another inch and a half. [ Laughter ]