How to overcome Shyness, Nervousness & Social Anxiety? 5 Tips to be more Confident | Public speaking

Hola! Welcome back. So guys, there are many
out there who really impress me but, out of all of those shy people are the ones, the
ones who couldn’t speak in public those who used to get very nervous amongst a group of
or a bunch of people and these people when such people actually work hard on themselves
and when they come out of their comfort zones, groom themselves properly in a way, in a way
to become more confident and more strong and such individuals are the ones who really impressed
me a lot. They not only impressed me but they teach me much more than what they do. After
meeting and observing such people, so I ended up meeting a couple of them, they told me
their tips and their life lessons that the way they had their and they commenced their
journey to become the confident people that they were. So today you have joined me Meera
on Skillopedia where we are going to learn skills to overcome shyness and social nervousness
or anxiety as they call it to become strong and confident individuals. Let’s get started
guys… Today I’m going to start with a phrase ‘let
your actions speak louder than your words’. Now usually shyness is something that ends
up restricting your freedom, right? So it could be freedom of actions, it could be your
body language when you’re too guarded and too close and too shut, while you shut people
outside and that you don’t let other people in. You’re in this method and with the help
of this phrase we are going to try to do two things, okay? First we’re going to try acting.
Acting to portray confidence with our body language. Something like the way you see in
this image, right? So guys now social science and researchers has, they have proven that
when you take control of your body language, even if it means to fake it for yourself,
so if I’m someone who stands like this but I learned to stand like this, you slowly and
eventually start believing in it and become that person and become that confident just
by practicing to act and I think that’s great work by researchers and indeed helpful. Now
there’s another thing that I spoke of confidence comes with practice. I mean, I still get butterflies
in my stomach when I have to go on stage and perform in front of an audience. Well to think
about it that’s fine I do get butterflies you could get butterflies in social confidence
is the same thing interacting, interacting with new people is the same thing. You would
feel nervous in the beginning but do not avoid these conversations, just face them guys,
okay? Practice to stand and sit confidently even if you don’t want to participate in the
beginning. Just by being a part of it and not running away is going to help you a lot.
Keep doing this until you overcome this particular part where you end up avoiding new conversations,
okay? Now in this strategy, you will jump off the
cliff. Oh no, no, no that’s not what I would ask you to do literally you know that. Try
new things is all I am saying overcoming shyness is all about getting out of your comfort zone,
just pushing yourself right out. A friend of mine who used to go for therapy sessions
was once advised by his therapist and she said and I will tell you that I’ll tell you
what happened to him so he was such a shy person and a guy he was yes you heard me right,
he was he’s not anymore. He couldn’t even talk to girls and he couldn’t even speak in
public in front of ten people. Now during this therapy he was told to do something that
made him super uncomfortable, what was that? That was dancing, yes! Now he was made to
join a salsa dance class, right? This got really, extremely uneasy and uncomfortable
for him. Imagine a state of mind, okay? So he can’t talk to girls and he cannot dance
and he’s put in a couple’s dance class now that is super crazy okay so of course his
teacher knew about it so that was fine he made mistakes but finally and finally he completed
two stages that’s elementary and intermediate and did pretty decent. So he had to in his
final dance ask for a partner and then he asked a girl to become his partner for their
small dance show. He overcame his shyness to talk to a girl and slowly and steadily
he did that. Would you believe if I tell you that today both of them are married? That’s
true. Now since that day he believed and he started believing that stepping out of his
comfort zone made him even stronger. So all you out there just don’t be afraid you will
always learn new lessons from the new things you try, okay? Even if you fail you have learned
something right so join a book club, guitar Club, take on a difficult task or project,
yeah? Learn a new skill if you want to like I said go for a piano class or guitar class
or karate. Even if you fail in that task you have won in getting out of your comfort zone
it is a win-win situation you guys to move from shyness to learn something and becoming
different. While doing these things do not forget your
own voice, right? Let your voice and ideas be heard for that you must practice talking
don’t be worried if people are going to like you or not or what you say or not, so hear
me out just there are 7.6 billion people in the world today. It is impossible to make
everyone happy or everyone to get to like you. That in fact is a good news, you can
stop worrying about it, right? Start practicing speeches, jokes and stories maybe just first
alone stand in front of the mirror the old technique copying someone while, while watching
their videos is a great way to do such a thing and then grab every single opportunity that
comes your way, be more expressive at work with friends with strangers as well. Well
don’t be busy worrying if they’re gonna like your ideas or jokes, just worry about your
thing that is overcoming shyness maybe that’s your first step. So speak your mind and engage
yourself you can do this. Nervousness and shyness should not hold you back, okay? And
make you stay quiet, right? Life is too short to keep quiet you guys so go ahead. Think about it, only superheroes need to wear
a mask. So they wear one because they don’t want people to know and to be frank I ask,
why not? So that’s the thing guys, show the world who you are. Do not be afraid to showcase
your own individual self, the way you are, the way you talk, half of the time we pretend
to be someone we are not. Just because you know people should like you and you want people
to like us, yourself. I mean people are going to judge anyways, no matter what you do. So
let them judge the real you and let them judge the real me instead, right? That means make
yourself more vulnerable. Practice doing this with the people you trust that’s how you can
start and if you are the people you’re close to, it is possible, right? The more you act
like your own self, the closer you feel to others and the people you trust and you can
really make stronger bonds and meaningful bonds with these people and this in itself
will lead you to self-confidence and a sense of freedom, freedom from be of, of being yourself
and freedom from being someone else. A small example for you guys, I used to hide from
people that I’m not that good in mathematics you know, I always thought that was shameful
and that other people will point fingers at me and judge me for not being that good in
mathematics, so I was busy hiding that I’m bad at it the whole time and that took me
a while you know a while to explore things that I’m good at because I was busy doing
the other things and then when I actually started mentioning whenever required of course
you won’t believe it half of the people I met actually had the same problem and I couldn’t
believe it myself that they were bad in Math just the way I was but at least I was confident
enough by then to showcase what I was good at because I had slowly acquired that, right?
Well that’s what we want to do with ourselves let others see the real you. Just be real,
be you be, be genuine, it’s going to be fine and people will appreciate who you are at
the end of the day. Try to work your way with small talks, not
everybody is born with social confidence, right? So athletes too get nervous, footballers
get nervous. To be frank they have the whole stadium looking at them for a fixed minutes,
for a fixed time span, right? So like 40 minutes, 50 minutes and they are supposed to play a
game but who says that you are supposed to talk for continues 10 minutes in any conversation?
It’s not a compulsion, right? So try and engage people in short and small sentences like,
“Hope you had a good weekend?” “Hey what’s for lunch?” “Hi, would you mind,
if I join you?” “So yesterday’s game was neck-and-neck, right?” “Great performance!
You’ve raised the bar for all of us.” You’re basically engaging everyone in small
talks and you don’t have to be conversing with them for a long period of time. If you’re
standing in a line at a cash counter after you’re done, wish the person behind you just
say, “Have a wonderful day ahead.” Something, such a small sentence can actually boost your
confidence, right? So if someone is sitting alone, ask for, ask for permission probably
to join them, “May I join you? Or, “Hey, is this seat taken?” It doesn’t have to
be in a creepy way or a harmful way or not always romantically, right? But it can be
a nice harmless gesture. Talking to strangers has so many benefits in itself. You can make
new friends, even if you don’t want to that’s fine you have already put yourself out there
and you have become more confident than who you are, right? So don’t put this tag as forever
shy just put yourself out there in the world first. All these things will slowly enhance your
social skills and kill your shyness to at a certain till a certain level making you
charming and unique as a personality. Try to use these strategies and I am so sure that
you will succeed in gaining confidence and social confidence, right? Thank you so much
for watching me here on Skillopedia, I will be back very soon with another interesting
topic just for you guys, until then keep practicing, keep smiling, this is me Meera signing off,

  1. ๐Ÿ‘‰Attract People Like A Magnet – 5 Behavioural Skills

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    ๐Ÿ‘‰7 Things that Kill your confidence.

  2. Meera ma'am , you are an amazing person…. just the thing you lacked today was a pleasant smile in all the session… please smile most of the time in your every session and at least I will be good with your sessions

  3. I love this channel, it really helped me to improve my social skills and i made more friends โค๏ธโค๏ธโค๏ธthanks a lot

  4. Thanks you so much Meera for another nice sessions..
    These are very good tips for me… Sometimes I also being shy on some situations I think these strategies will be really helpful for me. Thanks again…

  5. I really find your and Mischel's lessons more useful than others'.Thanks A lot . I wish you more and more success day by day by leaps and bounds. Thanks again

  6. The reason I'm "shy" is because I don't know what to say. It's more complicated than that actually. I feel the need to be in control of everything… and it makes me a perfectionist who isn't able to talk. I can talk to people I've known for a while. But it's just because I can predict their reactions and in that way I can control them. I'm realizing how weird this sounds but I'm just being completely honest. The question is, how can I overcome this deep need to control?

  7. Ma'am …..really really I want to speak out loud when the things go wrong
    But the thing is my voice won't come out๐Ÿ˜ฅ๐Ÿ˜ฅ๐Ÿ˜ถ๐Ÿ˜ถ

  8. Mam I have a problem of not able to eat in public…. I feel like everyone are seeing me…I get nervous n anxious…. what to do mam…

  9. Who love this channel please do subscribe to my channel .I am planning to post some videos on science so please encourage me by subscribing to my channel

  10. Hello ma'am ๐Ÿ˜ƒ
    I had recently been chosen for a programme – World's scholars Cup and it has a part where we gotta debate , I was really nervous but this video helped me a lot thanx!!!

  11. Nice video… But please don't stretch it too much… Let the content be precise… So that we don't feel diverted from attention

  12. Ma'am I have public speaking fobia. I get so nervous that my voice and body start to shake and I can't utter a word.

  13. Hi Meera, it's really an awesome video and I loved it. Thanks for the video. I am trying to overcome the Shyness and nervousness and I hope your video will be really helpful to that, once again thanks a lot. Keep uploading more and more videos.

  14. I only get nervous in front of girls. I don't why it happens to me. But after 2-3 consecutive days i am able to start a conversation with any of them. It take me time to build confidence and overcome nervousness.

  15. Hey meera .!
    Please make a video on how is overcome stammering problem while speaking to others & presenting something in crowd . I had been facing from my childhood.๐Ÿ˜Š

  16. My nervousness makes me look stupid infront of people. N they thinks that im an idiot I dont knw nothings n it hurts me ๐Ÿ˜ข

  17. Good Advice.
    Dance classes though i would not recommend to find a partner. All that "its only about dancing" makes flirting harder, you never know are they just nice like to any other dance partner or might there be more. Harder than outside a dance scene due to this.

  18. Before i learn public speaking, i thought that is impossible task for me, but now i can speak on a stage confidently, and for the 1 to 1 speak with stranger and girl has become the new impossible task for me, hahaha, stage is more secure than 1 on 1 conversation.

  19. Thanks! I have a Presentation coming up about Physics And This has helped me โœŒ๐Ÿป

    Edit: Done the Presentation and I wasnt Nervous Thanks!

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