Honest Trailers - Game of Thrones Vol. 1



Warning: the following
contains spoilers for seasons 1-3. For a spoiler-free version,
click here. Just come back and watch the real version
when you’re all caught up… wuss! From fiction’s
most notorious serial killer, comes the TV adaptation of the medieval encyclopedia/
Dungeon Master’s Guide/porno that is… Game of Thrones. God, that song’s cool! Get ready for the show that has viewers
of the edge of their seats, wondering what will happen next, and as people who’ve read the books
acting all smug because they already know. It’s the abusive show you keep watching
no matter how many times it hurts you. How long do I have to look? Full of disturbing imagery like… incest, beheadings, attempted child murder, more incest… And that’s just the first episode! Travel to Westeros, a place where everything
is the thing of nouns. The Hand of the King. – Light of the Seven.
– Brienne of Tarth. – Lord of Bones.
– Lord of Light. – Master of Coin.
– Mother of Dragons. – Son of Dolf.
– Son of Fire! – Warrior of Light.
– Bank of Braavos. Lord of Winterfell
and Warden of the North. Watch as everyone fights to sit
in the world’s most uncomfortable chair, while completely ignoring
an invasion of ice zombies that threatens to kill them all. Seriously,
someone should really get on that! Meet unforgettable heroes, who were still alive
when we wrote this Honest Trailer. Jon Snow, a mopey bastard
who doesn’t know anything. You know nothing, Jon Snow. Tyrion Lannister,
a character who’s so awesome. Imp slap! Peter Dinklage will get
every good dwarf role until he dies, or Warwick Davis kills him. And Daenerys Targaryen, a super hot queen
obsessed with her dragons. Where are my dragons? She’s out for vengeance
against the people who killed her family. Eventually… One of these days… Can we just fast-forward
to that part? Watch as these heroes struggle to end the reign
of King Justin Bieber. Leave her face. I like her pretty. God, if he doesn’t die this season, I’m gonna fucking kill him myself! Fucking hate that kid! Ride along on an adventure where any lead character can die. Whether you’re Sean Bean, Sean Bean’s wife, Sean Bean’s best friend, Sean Bean’s son, Sean Bean’s daughter-in-law, Sean Bean’s family dogs, or Sean Bean’s unborn grandkid. All men must die… who are in any way
close to Sean Bean. So begin the epic journey,
so long and complicated, we hope the creator
doesn’t eat himself to death before he’s finished writing it. And settle in for a show
with so many monologues, HBO will desperately
try to keep your attention by any boobs necessary. Not that I’m complaining. Boobs! Starring the ten characters
whose names you actually remember. And all these other characters
whose names you actually don’t remember. Like the sneaky guy. The sneaky bald guy. Carl Drago. Those Gay Dudes. Lord Friend Zone. Grumpy Old Dad. That’s the same person, right? Sand- San- Sansa? Bronn? Bran? Bronn again? Sam? No, Sam’s the fat one
from Lord of the Rings. She’s the one who had a demon baby! That’s the guy
that got his dick cut off. I don’t remember her name,
but she’s super hot. That’s Tyrion’s hooker girlfriend! Hodor!
That’s Hodor! Now, you’re just messing with me. No idea. Faceless Assassin!
That guy’s awesome! Not a clue. Dunno. I got nothin’. None of these are ringing a bell. Go make up your own names, nerds! Game of Thrones. It’s kinda like a history test,
but with dragons and boobs! If you put any spoilers
in the comments, I’ll kill you. But to all my book bros:
R + L = J. You know what I’m talking about. A Lannister always subscribes. So click that button now. Hey, Screen Junkies!
Wanna see me act stupid? Then click the box above
to see the epic drive-thru voice prank. The more times you share it,
the more money we raise for charity.




Comments
  1. Came here after watching the final honest trailer, just to remember the good old days… It was just a perfect show!😭😭

  2. Doesn't know long list of characters but knows Hodor. Well executed. And the joke about Not Sam, Sam's the fat best friend from LotR. Trips me up too.

  3. "She's out for vengeance against the people who killed her family. Eventually. One of these days. …Can we just fast forward to that part?"

    It seems they understood you wrong: Instead of forwarding TO that part, they forwarded THAT PART!

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