Heavy thoughts can sink ships. Let's talk.

so it's like super late on Friday yeah I'll look probably all out having fun I'm over here I was trying to sleep but I can't seem to sleep yeah and I don't know what it is it's just like a really heavy heavy feeling I'm not sad hi fella I am Burroughs I don't know it's just a heavy feeling I'm not going through anything I don't have any drama but it's this heavy feeling that's just like I don't know like it needs to be processed I don't know what it is I don't know what it is Cris shit's been going down for you man I really don't know what it is I heard my phone going off and I check it and I had a couple notifications and I go look at what they are I've been tagged in a few things on Facebook where it's like y'all are hateful I'm just like why can't you guys just love each other I don't understand what this is I don't understand why one person has to try and force agreement you're free to eat and live and be happy or not happy as you choose yet you waste your time trying to force everyone to agree with you I don't get it I really don't get it and then I I figured okay well maybe if I just give myself a facial that will fix it exfoliate the skin and then you'll have a glow and you'll feel amazing and I don't I do feel amazing I mean I do have a glow but I don't feel amazing it's still weighing so heavily on my mind that people can't quite grasp what actual sovereignty is you know they talk about sovereignty and all of these beautiful esoteric things failing to realize spirituality the truth of it it's not milestones it's not a race there's no bell curve for your growth it's just I don't even know how to put it it's like there's no love and trying to force someone to be right there where you're at in your journey because lord knows what had happened how long it took you to get to that point in your journey so why would you expect that about anyone else you know yeah Roth Ram people are stuck in their comfort zone and what makes me most sad is their comfort zone is attempting to dominate other people and that's not how we bring about change that really isn't are we in three retrogrades which mofos do we have to blame for this okay Saturn a few who else oh let me just say that who else is in retrograde girl let me know let your girl oh my god and Sagittarius and Pluto oh my god okay I don't even know what that means but I feel myself I think me giving myself a facial is just an outward expression of an internal process that probably you guys are going through as well it's this need to shed to slough off the dead the layers of you that are dead that are dimming your shine and I think that's actually what's going on I think that's what's going on I feel like the need to expose the freshly renewed parts of myself right life birth rebirth death is just an illusion it really really is it really really is I was having some thoughts earlier today about how bodies are nothing more than densified light density yeah density strong matrix you know I think someone told me about that it's it's hard for me too it's hard for me to try and keep abreast on all of the like energetic updates and all of that because then I get so wound up I get so wound up and it's it then becomes very difficult to function for me personally but I'm kind of just I just do my own thing all the time anyways so let's see Jennifer says yes exactly I feel it's appeal and get out of my dead cocoon like a caterpillar trying to push my way out hmmmmmm that's true Heather Heather said girl boys are stupid I I don't know I have a husband of 20 years and a ton of sons I don't have any time no one in my family is stupid I would beg to differ they're actually very intelligent highly intelligent I'm not sad I'm just kind of I don't even know I don't know what mood this is I'm just I guess somber I'm seeing how maybe it's the way people are processing the energies that they're detecting that I mean not consciously of course but they're feeling it on some level and they're having a difficult time processing and they're lashing out at each other and I see it and I'm just like the fuck's wrong which looks wrong with show just chill drink some wine or do yoga well you need to do just chill out you nobody trying to mess with you and that's why I can't I can't be on social media it's like did alive get off make your post get off because I can't there's still this part of me that I haven't quite um I don't know I haven't quite mastered it I guess I haven't quite come to terms with it or accept it and that's what he still keeps acting up this part of me that can't quite understand why people behave the way they do why it can't just be away all the time when when it comes to when it comes to that kind of stuff it just really it hurts me it hurts me um I'm not perfect definitely far from perfect I'm definitely far from mastering anything at all and the more that I learn the more that I uncover about myself and my co-created reality the more I recognize how very very little it is I understand oh I can't sleep – we need to baptize this world with fire no no we're not burning anything Humber yes she says if more people took a good hard look at themselves before casting stones how about instead of casting stones after you take a good hard look at yourself how about we use those stones in a productive way how about we use it to build structures where we could find shelter during inclement weather or build structures where we can store nourishment for days were too exhausted to go and gather and forage for food spiritual food how about we use those stones in a more productive laughing way not just loving other people but recognizing other people are an outward expression of who we are inside you know I'm just it's and I'm not sad I don't maybe maybe I am sad a little bit not because of other people's behaviors but my response to it I find myself becoming apathetic like guys are some care and then I find myself saying crush the F up you know you care you just trying to act like you don't care because it's hurting you seeing other people hurting each other but you were never meant to function like the average person you know Michael why why I want to be normal I wanna be okay here's the thing people who are empaths who hurt so deeply seeing other people hurting even if they witness the hurt in such a silent way you're you're meant to feel that you're meant to feel that because as you feel it it makes you feel uncomfortable okay it keeps you from becoming complacent you're here to do a job and if you become complacent that job is such an important job it's a very integral part of the collective's rise you cannot fail this job you cannot not do your job so you're kept extremely uncomfortable you're made to feel just uncomfortable pretty much all the time in so many ways on so many different levels and I is just that's my norm that's my norm and someone as like if you knew what I was going through you wouldn't be laughing so easily the I still would I still would have had so much taken away from me in my life so much you're not gonna take my laughter from me I'm gonna always find a reason to laugh yeah might not sound appropriate to the person beside me but I got my own comedy in my head because I'm gonna always choose to be happy I'm just saying I'm gonna always choose to be happy that's just I do want to hear a joke oh thank you yellow puke Road Thank You Heather dang it's 3:00 a.m. cam Oh Debbi one of your readers was bawling her eyes oh okay Heather says what did one tampon say to the other and you must know my uterus and my ovaries are still at war so go ahead one of them is mortally wounded they've been bleeding for days I gotta read this for you guys what did one tampon say to the other tampon nothing they're both stuck okay Chris says why don't lesbians have sex in the morning have you ever pulled no Chris hashtag mm-hmm we know you guys can read that for yourselves I'm good okay someone else tell me I need to get that visual out of my you know someone needs to talk to your lesbian friends Chris they need to befriend a Filipina you did you got a triple wash that spinach multiple times to take and keep it fresh keep it fresh bookkeeping oh my gosh what did one saggy boobs say to the other saggy boob you've been looking at my boobs Heather if you're my boob just one saggy boob did not speak to the other saggy boobie cuz the first saggy boobs busy speaking to the knee all right how about Eric says but the worst part is that you feel other people's pain plus our own pain and that's training in the worst part that I don't know how to control it Eric I'm gonna give you some some advice I hope you're open to hearing it if you're not just totally disregarding me as an empath when you bring in someone else's pain you can actually recalibrate your Morpho genetic shield you can recalibrate the partha filters that allow that information in and you simply have to tell your higher-self please be mindful of what you allow me to experience do not allow in anything that would only serve to confuse confuse me or make me struggle unnecessarily and then I've also found that when you experience these sensations emotions whatever it is that you don't think it's you you're pretty sure it's not you you don't know who it is the first person that pops in your head message them or call them it's probably them it's usually the very first person that pops into your head and and you don't you don't have to really explain just ask them how they're doing or whatever or ask about the symptoms that you were experiencing and once you have the answer once it's confirmed I've found that the sensations it usually goes away because they then take ownership of that experience again and you're able to release the experience back to the owner but yeah let's see a lot of our emotional there you hold that what did one saggy boobs say to the other saggy boob I don't even if we don't perk up soon someone's gonna think for now that's like the ball sack of joke Christopher Hoffman stop with a joke you're fogging up my eyeball I can't even see oh my gosh you guys are hilarious so what should we do about this energy I think we as a collective or at least whatever group of people watch this I think we can definitely do something about it I definitely think we can oh you had a huge tower moment today do tell do tell what would happen now I wait there with someone so I'm going to admit a comment about Cambodia I'm not winking at you I'm just trying to read the car before you start thinking she's winking at me I'm trying to read the comment well either so bad yeah there is an energy shift same things happen what what did you say sue what did you say so yeah no three planets in retrograde hmm I do plan to take a rose bath I told my husband already because I have an immutable beautiful bathtub I told my husband I'm buying a ton of roses fresh roses and I want to soap in that tub with roses I'm gonna put a ton of crystals in that tub and candles and nobody go upstairs I'm not just claiming the bedroom I'm not just claiming a master bathroom the master but I'm claiming the entire floor nobody come up with well I might have claimed the whole floor in my head he'll find out when I have the bath running and I put a chain across the stairs don't touch it it's their first that's gonna happen I ain't even joking that's gonna happen will you have you lost your past my I sure have touch that and something's gonna happen no nothing's gonna happen um Saturn retrograde have got you a horseshoe up front door yeah I love laughter I really really do I really really do it's one of the most healing things and no one else has to be involved I'm literally laughing giggling to myself most of the day until my husband wakes up and makes me sour [Laughter] go back to sleep your love so it makes me sad he's not sour I just like to talk he knew I was like this before he married me he's still married me how stupid do I know anything about the Ring of Fire I sure do I sure do we're not gonna do that doom and gloom on here I tell you that much right now we're not gonna do that on here so that's as far as that conversation goes you should definitely you should scarlet you should definitely use that and then there's times because my husband usually is the one that runs all the errands and you know because I'm always doing work stuff and he'll be like I'm gonna go to the store do you need anything and I'm like yeah a low sodium attitude I'm gonna need a new attitude one preferably low sodium I'm salty okay preserve this is it good or bad good and bad is actually very objective it really are subjective it really depends on your perception the energy and stomach cramps these energies could potentially be dislodging things that you've had like blockages things that have been buried very deep for most of your life and stomach cramps is kind of like it's coming back up if you're doing a lot of like queasy you need to vomit kind of feeling that has a tendency to be it – it's also releasing women especially welcome women only because women are the only ones with booms unless you're I don't know hermaphrodite or whatever technicalities anyone with a womb can do this and has a tendency to do this where we we carry a lot of our a lot of our guilt shame stress all of that within the womb space and this is actually one of the reasons someone could potentially develop like a reproductive organ based cancer so you just you know you have to process these energies and then release oh my gosh hi little baby 14 oh thank you that's awesome she's hi I just started watching your videos like an hour ago and I'd love your advice I definitely feel like my perspective in life has changed dramatically because of you honestly I don't think it's because of me not correct bitch did you just spend like the first 130 minutes of this I'm so sorry I'm just gonna say thank you girl see you didn't I say I'm just still learning I'm still learning I'm working through it not to correct you little baby 14 but I do feel you need to take more credit for that shift in your perception because I could be saying all these things till I'm blue in the face but unless you allow it unless you open yourself to take in the information that's presented to you then nothing happens with it it's useless so you're the key component in that but thank you I'm sorry okay yeah it's it's important we process and release as much as possible you've had thumping in your own space hmm sometimes I feel that too sometimes I feel that I'm like I get all upset boom you better be empty first you better not have an occupation the hell did you do I feel something moving in my room I swear to God if I need to pee on sticks I'll be really yes in the womb I feel it sometimes do you mean not have a conversation I talk too much do we not talk about this you need to stop being so friendly it's not bad to say I don't know I don't think it's bad to say that to her I'm just speaking my truth I really oh thank you sue I don't stand no beers I don't know if there's lotion or white but everything keeps going blurry everything keeps going blurry it's probably loschen oh wow so let's see going back to the womb space a lot of things occur there like a lot of things are held in the womb space so it could be a bunch of different things Kim what that something kind of makes is that the inner child I'd be like child you must calm your ass down mmm yeah I don't know I don't know what it is um I think it's primarily energy though like a processing of the energy thank you for the hug so why don't see you guys want to talk about there's a lot of shedding going on a lot of shedding going on a lot of just old things like old hurts old cycles that's another one old cycles repeating and not just with within you but like the other people who are involved in the old cycles it's like they're coming back and then they're kids it seems like everything has changed and then suddenly I'm girl whap be hit that you okay I really got it I really got into that I don't have an issue with everything I'm not even joking I don't have an issue with that right now but I do know quite a few people are going through that mm-hmm yeah angel Lopez can you stop can you just stop like for real just stop your existing in a state of and I'm not having it right now seriously seriously I don't want sorry I wanted to stop and if you can't help yourself if you can't help yourself you're gonna need to get off the mic if you have no impulse control some people have no impulse control they're not a bad person but if you can't help yourself I'm gonna need you to show me more respect than continuing to try and push a conversation this woman has obviously said I don't want to be a part of I don't know how much more clear I can be right now if it's curiosity go Google I'm not Google for real I'm not Google Google will not tell you to quit hey Steven Renee yeah so there was a comment about narcissism everyone has narcissistic tendencies every single person has narcissistic tendencies some have it worse than others and it would be very very very ego based if I were to get upset I mean like oh how dare you say I'm a narcissist well yeah every single person will experience at least multiple bouts of narcissism in their life and if you don't you're in denial get the out of here I Know Who I am I'm perfectly imperfect I Know Who I am and I have no shame in it you guys when you begin to figure out who you are not the labels okay not not not those labels forget about the labels when you begin to figure out who you are and you begin to hold yourself accountable for the really stupid that you do in all of us do stupid intermittently okay all of us when you take accountability for that you take responsibility for your decisions or lack thereof no one can hurt you it takes all your power away from the hands of the people who want to use your shadow to hurt you your shadow loves you so much it follows you everywhere you go I love my shadow my shadow is the one thing that has always been there with me through my entire life just like all the other parts of me and I will not be ashamed for being a whole person and part of being whole is understanding and admitting and having no shame over the fact that sometimes I can be narcissistic to the degree of others usually not that's very difficult for me to do I suffer more with martyrdom I mean if you really want to hurt my feelings tell me to stop being a martyr even then you just you won't hurt my feelings mm-hmm you have to be a lot smarter than that to get under my skin and you suck as a troll I I have a lot of friends that are trolls don't tell anyone I used to be a troll too but you suck dude for real that's just a personal opinion but I'd like to share that with you my thoughts is that you suck your jokes suck you got timed out you gotta put it in the corner sit on the bottom step and think about your lives please bro for real you're not gonna I'm sorry that entertaining I do see does another really empowering thing about laughter I find a lot of billions are dating the most mundane things can be very entertaining and you're just not gonna bother me you just not you're not this is what sovereignty is you choosing how to feel about any given circumstance and you give an interaction it's now 12:00 12:00 a.m. that's some beautiful number 62 percent at 12:00 12:00 a.m. that's beautiful 33 and 7 that's even there beautiful oh wow Sam your twins said they're moving 3,500 miles away okay Brown is speaking Joe's truth martyrdom only pain I felt is through reaction from other people Joe why would you ever give your power away like that to have another person be able to control how you feel what kind of day you have how you see yourself why would you ever give your power away like that why would you give someone else so much power over your thoughts I'm not saying you're wrong I'm asking why what is it what did you live through that made you think that that was the best option for you because I'm trying to understand and martyrdom what you're describing is martyrdom that's what it is you're attracted to who are in a crisis I can understand that I have a habit of doing that as well and what I'm recognizing for myself and it might apply to you as well or it might not I recognized that the reason I do that the reason I'm so drawn to those who are in crisis and I want to help them it's not because I'm a good person it's quite the opposite it's because they're hurting in a way that mirrors something I don't want to address inside myself and so instead of addressing my own wounds I'm trying to help them heal theirs so that I'm too busy to recognize I'm bleeding right along with them so it's it's not a selfless act it's actually very selfish martyrdom is as well because Marden you're manipulating other people the behavior is manipulative you don't want them to not like you and so you do whatever it takes including martyring yourself in order to get the reaction that you want it's manipulation so I mean it's not that you're a bad person right that's what I learned – Joe can't save people from themselves someone that I really really really deeply deeply loved and that I've known my entire life is for a period of time he was very suicidal very suicidal and I finally got to a point where I understood something finally clicked in my mind and I had a a legit conversation with unlike a very honest like look you're hurting you're hurting inside they know that I understand that and I also under and it's not my place and it's I don't have the authority to stop you from actually making good on that attempt and if you were to attempt it and succeeded I would be destroyed I really would I would be very very sad for a very long time so before you actually go and do that I'm not gonna try and stop you anymore but I just need to understand why and if you're doing these things just to get attention or because you're hurting you realize you can come to me and just tell me and I won't say word you can say whatever you need to say and I won't judge you I won't offer advice I will just sit there and listen and I mean you know it's really not our place to try and save people from themselves from their lessons a lot of people who are in that frame of mind where they want to harm themselves they've already established within themselves that they can't do anything right and when you speak to them and you get angry with them and you tell them that's so stupid you just want attention and this and down all you're doing is amplifying what they've already assumed about themselves just the thought so when you get real honest with someone who is suicidal and you let them know like I can't stop you if you really really wanted to you'll find a way and I can't do anything about it but I want to understand while you're still here and able to tell me and help me to understand so that I'll be able to cope when you're gone you could just talk to me let you know and that would help me that would help me and I found that that actually helps much more than trying to stop them from doing something because most people who make it known that they have plans they want someone to listen they want someone to talk to them they want to be understood they basically need help not feeling so powerless that's the ultimate show of power to take your own life that's the ultimate show of power how powerless do you have to feel to need to show your power in that way yes that's pretty bad that's pretty bad and if you've been beat down by life your entire life having someone who's supposed to be your lifeline beating you down more that's not going to get you to change your mind and the whole point isn't trying to change someone's mind the whole point is to let them know you don't have to go through with this just because you feel like you have to prove something that's the whole point letting them letting them know they have the options I mean I'm not a crisis counselor but these are just things that I am definitely recognizing with all the people that come to me and talk to me about different things that's what I'm recognizing they just want someone to sit there in that hole with them even for a moment just so it's not so lonely oh wow Patti I'm sorry Bella I'm sorry Bella that's hard that's really really hard I hope in the time since he is transitioned that you have found some kind of answer that you've been able to come to terms with whatever was needing to be addressed and that you're coping okay holding space is important it's so important and you know this conversation is much more spiritual than spiritual practice and to be honest I think spiritual practices prepare you for the true application of spirituality which is what we're talking about right now no no no no no don't feel bad there's no sorry needed whoever needed to hear where this conversation went needed to hear it I don't believe in missteps I really really don't if we weren't meant to have the conversation go in this direction I would have been distracted because I'm very easily distracted so don't be sorry for anything who knows maybe maybe you're helping Bella to process a little bit easier you know I don't think that type of wound ever really heals but having conversation like this where there's people who can comment and share that they're experiencing very similar hurts that go so deep it makes that burden a little easier to carry you know I mean you definitely don't want to be celebrating that other people know this pain but it's a comfort it's a comfort to a broken heart to know that there are others out there that know what it feels like that they're not being punished that others have experienced this as well carry so care I don't know if you were here earlier but we were talking about how Saturn in retrograde it really begins to bring to the surface a lot of that karmic dot karmic load karmic lessons all of that stuff and maybe it's time to begin sifting through the wreckage of that experience and despite it being wreckage I do believe there are components in that pile you're being asked to sift through that are key components to your rebuilding to your fortification so it's it's hard you know it's hard I haven't I haven't lost anyone to this so far but I do feel the pain of people that do experience this mm-hmm I feel like it's my own pain and so well life is definitely a journey it is definitely a journey it's a perpetual loop of lessons layered one upon the other and with each lesson that you complete a much more intricate and difficult lesson is layered on top can be difficult at times londo that's hard but there's beauty in that there's definitely beauty in that and it's not to diminish the pain of losing your family it's to emphasize the gifts that you've been given being the last you have the opportunity to leave a massive mark we have a mark on this world that will show your lineage contains so much compassion and love you're representing them at this point until everything that you go through in life has so much more meaning it means you're being asked to live that much more that still hurts you know it's very hard for you it's a lot of tension a lot of resistance a lot of the sensation of the backwards movement like you're being pulled backwards but I see it as you are an arrow and in order for an arrow to be launched forward it needs to first be pulled back and the level of which it's pulled back directly correlates to how far it's going to launch forward you should be mad you should feel sad you have every right to you have every right to you're not processing wrong it hurts it's hard to come to terms with like why did everyone leave but me and yeah death is just really going home but for the who are left behind it's devastating it's devastating and that level of hurt I've found is a reminder for the rest of your life of how much they meant to you how much they mean to you and I really believe and I know this for a fact because of the work that I do I really believe that death is an illusion you're you're just simply transmuted into another form but she don't cease to exist you just you don't cease to exist I know this for a fact it's not imaginary and I'll tell you guys this the reason I know this for a fact several years ago my my husband's mom my mother-in-law she had open-heart surgery and we happened to be moving that day and you know she was supposed to have surgery early in the morning I know it's only supposed to be about like three hours or something like that and it's evening already and I'm like did you hear back if his mom out of surgery like what's going on you haven't said any outdate and so he calls his brother and he's like tells me they said she's still in surgery I'm like dude that surgery doesn't take that long you better find out what's going on you better call the hospital and get an update and within about five minutes his brother called him and he's like well the doctor just came out of the operating room and said there's been some complications and we had moved to another state we were in a completely different state and I had told him put all our things in storage because we were in a hotel room put all of our things in storage we're going back to California and he left to go bring her a few things to storage and I sort of got as soon as he left mom was in our hotel room and I was texting with my cousin because she's an RN and she her specialty was in the cardiothoracic department and I was like you know what the hell could be taking that long for surgery and this and that and and then I was like oh my god cousin his mother is in our hotel room she's like told her to go back to her body what the hell and I was just like she won't listen like I don't know how to tell him because he just loves to go to storage and I was just like you have to you have to go back to your body like I'm not joking you have to go back as you guys know you never told me it was like this I was scared for nothing I was like I'm so serious you'll have to go back you cannot leave right now and she was like well I have somewhere to go you mean you have somewhere to go you have to go back into that whole water and get your ass back in your body is where you have to get you guys know I have to go visit some people in Hawaii you can't do that and and then she's like okay bye and I was like oh my god oh my god and then as soon as she said bye my husband calls me it's like she's gone and I was like and I couldn't say anything I was like are you okay he couldn't say anything oh no I saw her and I heard her and we were having a full-on conversation I was like you need to get your ass back in your body you are not doing and she's like she never told me it was like this I was scared for nothing and I was like my god you cannot do this like seriously you cannot do this she didn't care she's like I'm somebody good and she was like amazed she was amazed but she was also gone the body was gone it was gone no pain nothing she was in surgery they couldn't get her heart to start there was no reason none and when we try and control things we try and think that because based off of our perception we know what's the best months prior to this she had been telling us she's gonna be having surgery on that day and blah blah blah and I was like you should not shouldn't please don't don't have the surgery and her logic was that it's become very difficult for her to really do any kind of physical activity and she wants to get stronger for her grandchildren and be able to be around and spend time with them and run around with them and not just like you should not have their surgery she didn't want to listen to me I told my husband you need to tell your mom to not have this surgery like I don't want her to but she made up her mind I was like and then I told him well then you need to be in California when she has a surgery and he's like my brother and my dad's gonna be there and that's like you need to fly to California and be there for her surgery and he said no and then I was just like trying to convince myself you're not always right okay you're probably being dramatic you're not always right just leave it alone just because you saw something doesn't mean it's gonna happen just leave it alone and so now I've learned when you see something like that you say something just be blunt just say it and if they still choose then you said it already and that's that yeah yeah I was just like should I have said something the one time from my theory to be proved right that's just not a good time that was not a good time to prove me right like at all but yeah you probably are sensitive to spirits Bella you probably are yeah she meant you know so for a few years before that happened we had a really really bad relationship like when I first started dating my husband her and I had amazing relationship I would go there just to hang out with her I don't even care if he's home I'll even care of me as I'm gonna hang out with her but yeah for a few years it was really really bad and then not long before her surgery we began to repair our relationship and it was becoming beautiful again and I felt really robbed I felt so cheated like really you know what are you gonna do are you gonna do hmm my laptop's about to die see yeah he did that for three months you know what um although you might want to consider having a spiritual bridge session with me I do offer that as a private session where you can communicate with whoever chooses to come through usually it's the person that you choose but I don't I can't guarantee that they're gonna want to come through and speak but if he's did that for three months I'm pretty sure he's gonna want to talk to you hey Jade could you please get my laptop charger it's in the red bag at the foot of my bed thank you but yeah I think you're probably sensitive that's beautiful Carrie yes did she had places to go she was a very headstrong woman she's a tourist like to just do whatever the hell she wants ain't nobody gonna tell her she needs because then you better pray how are you right Jesus heard you say that my son game Jesus heard you say that you think I'm joking I have never questioned life beyond since my out-of-body experience only emergency surgery yet 18 days just love some yeah amber oh my gosh yes it is all love it's very rare for someone to go to hell there's no hell there really isn't there is an area within the consciousness of God where you refuse you are choosing this you're not being damned okay you are choosing this you are refusing to let go of the things that occurred in your life and so you loop it round and round and round and round and you punish yourself God doesn't do that to you Jesus does not like that you are drinking my soda this kid is always eating my stuff okay he said haha but yeah it's you know it's it's hard to have people who've never experienced it understand I'm not afraid to die like at all it's harder to be in this life than it is to be crossed over like I'm literally not scared to die I would just be like yeah I'm just being honest I'm not gonna do anything but I'm just being honest you know this life is insane it's insane like if we could all remember what we're made of where we come from what waits for us there would be no more competition there would be no jealousy there wouldn't be any of that lacking frame of mind it's just insane how this world operates like if you could see the world through my eyes it's insanity it's insanity like I have people who hate me which make things hilarious it's like really you hate me but you realize that gives me a more inflated importance than I actually should have like I don't even think I'm enough for you to be bothered by that's one crazy and then you're trying to compete with how are you gonna compete with someone that you can never be if you're trying to beat me at being me bitch it's insane to me why can't you see that you're amazing why can't you see that like why do you have to try to be someone else and then you get mad that you can't beat them like what is wrong with you that you don't appreciate yourself because I can see the beauty in everybody I really really can but let's not get that twisted just because I see your beauty doesn't mean I don't see your asshole er II because I see that as long as you balance it is perfectly okay just make sure you keep a balance this world is Savage it is Savage this world is 100% Savage I don't even I I can't comprehend it I really really can't I just can't I don't get it I don't get it and I remember one day I was having a freakin legit breakdown and I was just like I just don't get it I don't get it I don't understand I'm highly intelligent yet I don't understand this is such a simple thing that I don't understand and I was in tears and um Archangel Michael talks to me a lot and he was just quiet and then I got really upset that's like why are you he's me when I need you to talk and he just he still didn't say anything and I was just like I don't understand humans I'm never I'm never gonna be human right I can't human properly and then that's when he decided to talk and he was like you were meant to were never meant human properly you came here to help humans remember how to be human again and I was like oh oh is that what it is it was like are you done crying not really like minutes Liz you can't human right either yeah I did tell him that it's not human right either because he can't ah you guys forty-four percent at 144 hmm do you know what I'm saying yeah it is a Pisces in US and it's also other signs other signs are capable of feeling to that depth it's not just Pisces it's really really not it's not just Pisces but hmm I don't know I don't know I'm thinking of having like a Pisces workshop teach all how to be savage you also need to be savage you don't need to be taught to be savage y'all already are don't think I don't know Pisces is wicked as Pisces I'm bustin y'all out I'm bustin all of you out so if you don't know the truth of it is that Pisces is one savage they know they can destroy you when they feel bad about it that's why they don't you see a Pisces crying it's not because they're weak it's because they figured out how to murder your ass five different ways and they feel bad about it because every single freaking time they figure out a way to murder you in three seconds you couldn't defend yourself that's why we cry I'm just oh my gosh see see Bella knows what I'm doing my husband be like I'm so mad at my husband and I'm like he's like why are you laughing cuz I killed you like five times you need me I'm weighing my options is why I'm laughing oh my gosh you guys oh your guides get cryptic and then the lessons are taught and learned I found that too when they stopped talking some real up I come to understand that when my guides stopped talking seriously fucked-up is about to go down cuz they're like we told you we whispered it we lovingly nudged you yelled at you we put blocks in your path all right bitch keep walking go ahead yeah my guides do that it's amazing like when was it 40% at 12:48 12/12/12 that's some beautiful right there so the other day I forgot what it was I think it was live too Michael was telling me to do something I said no I'm not doing that I'm listening and he's trying to insist and I was like no I don't want to say that I ain't saying that and I was getting all ballsy right and then he goes is that your final decision I'm just joking what did you want me to do I tell me what you wanted to say so I remember and say yeah I learned I'm not that kind of masochist and here's the thing your guides and you either you could probably be like oh well why do they get to force you they're not forcing you your higher-self has done sent the goony squad so first it's your higher self it's your higher self so really it's you forcing you so if you're gonna get mad at anyone get mad at your sail you didn't listen to yourself that's what it is your guides tell you I don't ever listen mm-hmm I'm sure my guide say that too but I didn't hear them I'm pretty sure they said something like that but I just didn't hear them Elmarie yes like I'm just I'm not afraid to die I really it's not a line I'm not trying to sound thuggish I'm just not afraid like I know what's there and I tell you guys this the moment I cross over to the other side whoever the allowed me to come back I will be bitch-slapping them what kind of soul friend are you let me come back and volunteer my ass again next time you go down there I will stay here and I will hold it down that's the kind of conversation I'm gonna have as soon as I cross over which one of you convinced me to go back I'm joking I'm joking Elmarie some of us are here for that a large portion of us are here for that she says we're here because of a desire in us to experience this life in this dimension mm-hmm we do create too many illusions as to why we are here some of us some of us come not to experience life in this dimension but really here as work we're here to work and to help people to experience this life in this dimension and then also to further us along in some of the lessons we had been working on in previous lives so yeah yeah Tanya I mean I'm not I'm not itching to go by I'm not scared to either I'm kind of just open to whatever life has to bring me when you talk about knowing ourselves what are some steps to take to figure this out exploring your shadow self addressing your inner child taking the first steps for self-love self-love is not it's a journey self-love is a journey some people and I've said this before in lives where some people say that no one can actually truly love you until you love yourself and that's a lie that's an absolute lie some of us need to be loved in order to figure out what self-love is I'm one of those people I'm absolutely one of those people and the reason I've blossomed into my own is not because I am so spiritually advanced in superior it's because as a broken person my husband found me and helped convince me to stop believing in the lie that I'm broken that's a fact I did not know what self-love was when he met me at 19 years old and you would have never known that because I have a wonderful poker face I have such a poker face everyone in my life thought I had the most amazing life everyone always so polished not a hair out of place beautiful wardrobe high-end clothing labels velour makeup always done you have no idea what people are going through very silently and he saw all of us he saw the truth of the hot mess behind the polished sophisticated woman and he didn't run he didn't judge he was just like no I'm here for the long haul what do you need me to do to help you that's like I don't give a if you're a twit I'll give a if you're Jesus no I've found my penguin I'm just saying I'm just saying most of our arguments for most of our relationship was like why do you have to be like that why do you always have to think like you have to do everything alone why do you always feel like no one has your back I think I can hear for how many years like Oh kind why'd you have to kill all my art but yeah self-love is hard it's a very hard thing to begin and just because you've begun that self-love journey it doesn't necessarily get easier that's beautiful Billy the loving care we receive is a feeling a feeling we can remember for the soft love for ourselves yep yep how do you sit and reflect on yourself because I don't think there's something I don't like about myself I'm harsh I'm very harsh I'm very very harsh not with other people with myself I take it to a whole nother level whole nother level and when I sit and reflect I have a tendency to tear myself apart by completely completely I'm thorough ya know it's very complete and then I sit there I'm like you're such an asshole and then I'm like Oh clean up this mess clean up this mess you made that mess clean it up and then I clean up my mess and I straighten my crown and I keep going do I hate myself no and I'm recognizing when I tear myself apart I think that's not a character defect it's not it's not that I don't appreciate myself or I lack a sense of self-worth I'm coming to really understand when I do that it's cuz I recognize how much untapped potential 'ti I still have and I've come into this life to give this to the world and how dare I drag my feet in delivering this gift and so I find myself tearing myself apart for that because yeah it's harsh but I don't listen until gets cuts I'm not even joking I'm not even joking like that you got to get pretty harsh with me for things that I don't want to do if I don't want to do something you have to get pretty frickin harsh with me for me to do it for me to like open my ears to hearing that this has to be done you know Graham said you can't force me to do anything that doesn't resonate as the truth to my soul but even if it does resonate as a truth if I don't want to you'd be hard-pressed to get me to comply and so that's why I end up talking to myself like that and I haven't done that so much lately lately I've been more like hey girl hey girl so we're gonna need you to get off your ass and we're gonna have to stop saying bad words we're gonna have to talk nicer to ourselves or or we're gonna have a problem that's the conversations I've been having you need to be a little bit more gentle when we talk to us their conversations I'm having with myself yeah yeah Billy she says I've always been my own worst critic but shows truth I'd rather know the truth where I didn't want to see it in the past yeah yeah that's beautiful angel LaFrance our pisces always their own harshest critic I say that that's true for me I say that that's true for me I I it's because I know I can take things so much further you know like how could I ever allow myself to settle for what for black like I I don't I don't know have it and how the choice inside of us I don't know I don't know if I even really understand what you mean by the hmm because for me my perception is a bit different and it's not that my perception is more or less right than yours it's just different I've been able to go to quite a few different places Ashley pathetically so many different ways and I've never been to a place that's defined as heaven or hell that's why it's hard for me to understand there are places that when described could be help but it's not I think what's happened is humanity has been so conditioned by a patriarchal paradigm that anything to do with the empowerment of the goddess the creative birthing energies the Shakti mom that's been vilified what's considered hell the description that's the womb of the mother and I don't find anything evil within them there are things that are misunderstood and just like as a mother would shield and hide her child who's being vilified you know despite being able to acknowledge that hey you're my kid is acting out but she would have her child hide behind her to protect that child there are things that hide within her womb that are misunderstood that are not accepted because they haven't yet evolved enough to understand how to play nice with others but there there's no hell that I know and I've had near-death experience as well I've had quite a few different experiences um I feel the reason why we are so hard on ourselves is because we know the knowing is what causes the stem and a stern and sarcastic self determination response yeah I agree she men I agree I know what I can accomplish and I feel like I do everything half-ass while everyone looks at me is like you overwork all the time you're a workaholic you know Mike but you don't understand I'm not even working at full capacity like you I'm getting in it this is not full capacity so yeah no I know what I'm capable of I absolutely know what I'm capable of I also do recognize I have workaholic tendencies I recognize that as well and it's hard to find a balance have you ever tried to balance water outside of a container it's hard it's hard and when you've you pair a Pisces with an intact sense of sovereignty you now have water outside of a container because as a sovereign I will not be contained try balancing that water good luck yeah let's see yeah I have to be busy too I have to yeah 9 for cocoa I'm I have a hypothesis that I might be a pisces might be masochistic it hurts so good I think that we get addicted to the pain I think because it hurts so much to know on some level that you can't save people from themselves and they're hurt and then we become addicted to the pain yeah your mind races so you need the distraction so you work queen of water have you ever heard of stimming you might want to consider stimming you're taking in an influx of frequency like non-stop this is what your higher self is showing me I don't know why is she showing it to maybe it's to help you so actually do I have your do I have your permission to scan you because I want to make sure I understand what she's talking about okay yep you have sensory integration disorder it's where your brain is not processing sensory information properly and so you get overloaded non-stop overloaded and it makes everything go haywire thoughts are racing constantly have to be doing something moving all kind of stuff multi-dimensional existence requires this level of processing because you you have ADHD type of processing yeah you're you're a very sensitive empath um stimming helps i don't know how many of my lives you've watched but you often see me moving I'm rocking I'm tapping on things just tapping tapping tapping rubbing rubbing rubbing when you stimulate in a certain way it frees up more of your mind to take in the information but for you it's such a elevated response look into sensory integration disorder look into stimming also look into the other one ADHD man your intake is like wide open do you have symptoms of fibromyalgia because this level of frequency accretion it typically causes chakra shattering no beautiful do you walk around a lot or like exercise regularly you might want to try doing that because what I'm seeing it's like a hint of stress fracture on your chakras each one it's not yet fractured it hasn't shattered yet but you're very very close to it and honestly I think one more massive accretion will probably cause it to shatter and if it sits for prolonged periods the energy that leaks out of the chakras it then begins to permeate the density of flesh and then once that happens you'll begin symptom presentation physiological symptoms present ation fibromyalgia has to do with severe chakra damage so it doesn't have to be like to lose weight or gain muscle or any of that you just have to make sure you are fairly active daily meaning you know at least like 10-15 minutes of brisk walking or whatever it is you want to do that's physically active because that prepares the body to be able to tolerate higher frequencies for prolonged periods so that would be good for you your um I don't know if you're aware you're channeling light language that's why your mind keeps racing you're it's like you're transcribing on some level like a whole ton of information like a ton um y'all are that Cal just leave it to myself Queen of water yeah you're you're like a radio that's exactly it's like an antenna sticking out of your head and you're just pulling it all kind of information it's not from one galactic lineage you are getting information from a ton of ET races a ton of them and it's not it's a constant stream constant it's just constantly in flow in flow in a flow you haven't been transcribing any of it like I don't know how to put it it's a lot it's a lot actually just 74% at 111 11 111 yes journal Queen of water if you journal if you write down the symbols that you see do not show it to other people this is classified information and I say do not show it to other people because it's classified information the not-so-good ét want this information and they are not opposed to using Trojans meaning someone that was once worthy of your trust like a good friend or whatever someone who has access to you regularly someone that you trust can be infiltrated by a parasitic being and used to access you you don't want that so just to avoid the whole thing don't show your journals to anyone not even to me some people are like don't show it to anyone and then next thing you know they're sending in to me I told you I can handle it but I just I like to get people there I'm not gonna say it I'm not gonna say it a lot of people will get angry with me and it's not that is not that I am ruled by a fear of people being angry at me I really don't give a a lot of people like angry at me it's that I don't feel like this level of knowing is is quite appropriate yeah not yet the very soon very soon oh I like the ash Newman says pushing through the painful lessons of the love-hate relationship that produces a pleasurable pain it's a pisces trait that I embrace it's like the pain of swimming upriver it burns so good yeah Trojans are legends are Trojans they annoy me they're annoying me ah Billy actually had shared with me a sentiment I think was about a year ago at this point she said evil I still have it in my phone in one moment I have to get this just right so I know I have it in here I just saw it recently nothing is good or evil until given a field of intent nothing is good or evil until given a field of intent you demonic incantations be aware of who's in your presence once you summon answer to me don't force me to send them back to you I don't think you want to play this game because I always win I'm not trying that's the scary part for you you have to try I don't notice no fear in my face notice no hesitation in my response you if you'd like to test me I'm willing to play do you want to play you you you do you want to play one second everybody demonic incantations remember my face I'm going to teach you in your dreams tonight why you shouldn't play with things you don't understand remember my face anyways sorry guys I had to just take out the trash so Kaiser the boss let's wait so you talked to demons here's a newsflash guys I talked to angels what are demons angels do I work with them do i do incantations do i invoke but I do know what I'm capable of I do know how to defend and I do know given to me as part of my birthright because of the lineage from which my soul was cleaved they must bow down to my authority does that make me no that just makes me someone you don't want to with that's all that exactly angel spirit won't allow someone like that to understand because that type of individual is a type of individual that believes you can dominate another sentient being demons are sentient beings they know what they're doing they are also children of God demons are angels that have fallen that have chosen to serve God in the shadow now if you're afraid of demons I ask you to reconsider God created everything for a purpose God would not create something that would just unnecessarily harm you so if you see the truth in that statement then you would know demons exist to help you learn in shadow what you have refused to learn in the light they are here to grow you not through in Asians not through summoning beings that you have no idea of they are not something to fear unless you with me because then yes don't fear the demons you better fear me because that's all I gotta say about that don't be coming up in here trying to be a little attention whore yeah damn demon whore I know I'm not afraid I'm really not so you guys I just realized I have to teach class in the morning my eggs are all flared up alright you just rabbit okay so yeah do you guys want to ask any last thing before we go thank you happy Mother's Day to all the Mamas oh you know what I'm gonna be going live later on today to do readings energy work and it's gonna be very special for a Mother's Day so 3:00 p.m. Pacific Standard Time join me excuse me you guys are awesome you guys are awesome seriously see Angela Franz says lights are too bright for some here's my logic if you are a moth that is drawn to my fire don't be complaining when you try and grab my fire and you get burnt don't be getting mad at me you the one that stuck your hand I'm just saying I'm just saying so yeah you guys I hope none of you are afraid because of that idiot and yes this is me being judgemental because I'm allowing myself to have a very human experience like I was an idiot and I will tell you this he was not expecting that respond he was not expecting that response he was expecting me to get freaked out and when I didn't notice how he stopped typing he's like with this crazy-ass bitch and yes if you use your other account I was reading your mind you were typing gibberish you're full of you aren't doing any incantations and that's sickening feeling you got in your stomach when you were looking in my eyes was because I was summoning your stupidity to return fact it's sick how retarded you are yeah no he wasn't summoning anything he tried like copy and patient he'd mm-hmm there was no energy to go ahead and fuel that there was none we got a basement warrior someone who was in their mother's basement got access to the Wi-Fi code that's all that was you don't let it freak you out Kim don't let it freak you off I want you to begin shifting the way you perceive evil and darkness and demons you know the term demon is just it's programmed to instill fear in you and a sense of helplessness that's why I don't use that word because all it is you know the whole demonic thing they're just parasitic it's like a child that's been lost and doesn't know how to act the reason parasitic beings behave the way they do the reason they go and feed off other beings and this might help you come to terms with it and not be afraid it's because they have convinced themselves they are separated from God and they are so frantic thinking they cannot survive because they've separated themselves from God they have no food source so they have to find another food source so when parasites feed off of you it's because they're afraid they are starving and that's all it is it's a survival tactic they're just trying to survive and can you really hate something that feels so powerless and helpless that they are in fear of ceasing to exist not really you know I mean yeah there be you're still not acceptable but do you have to be afraid know how much more powerful are you knowing you're connected to God and you're not going to be depleted that you will always be replenished as needed so just remember that you know you have that knowing you have that knowing they don't have that knowing they're at a much lower level of knowing they're like toddlerhood early toddlerhood at that and you're more like eight nine years old you don't have to be afraid of them you really really don't you don't yeah yes Billy yes she says I believe they are scarred and scared too and made themselves come to terms and believe that they don't deserve love yes that's and this is my specialty you guys like a large portion of my private bookings or parasitic extractions like you guys pretty much just know me from Claire tarot readings that's just something fun that I do my actual specialty is parasitic extraction and subatomic attunements I'm an energy worker and you know this is what I've seen time and time again they are afraid parasites are so afraid and so desperate and yeah I talked to them harsh because that's the language they know you can't exactly go into a frickin hood and be like alrighty now if you could please kindly put your weapons down you know you have to speak the vernacular and that's how they speak and so that's how I speak to that but I don't destroy anything I don't kill anything when I do Paris extraction I give them a choice you are being evicted from this space the owner of this kingdom is requesting that you be removed either remove yourself or I will remove you at no point am I like I'm going to kill you I'm a Demon Slayer like no get the out of here God did not say kill anything God said to regulate now go vigilante you know what I'm saying but yeah you yep yeah energy can't be created or destroyed sad lost individual it's unfortunate to try to dim someone's like try if you will but don't come sideways at about age seriously I have no employees bully I'm still a balls be ok guys join me later on today 3 p.m. Pacific Standard Time guys with a boss what is your opinion on sleep paralysis you have exited the body you are still corded to your body your consciousness and the sleep paralysis usually occurs when you haven't reintegrated your back into your system your bodily systems so yeah the body is a bio machine that's what it is it's a bio machine ok good night guys bye

  1. Omg…the Pisces and the incompetence part is like my whole life I cant even deal with it lol…its like hearing myself say all that is what scares me 😂

  2. Couldn’t sleep at 3 am too though I am on the other side of the world, Bahrain. I so resonate with you as a fellow pisces. The past four years have been painful soul searching experiences. I don’t smile a lot but when I listen to you for that period of time I find peace and joy and even laugh. Thank you 🙏🏼, I am still so lost in my journey.

  3. Im crying because I’m so thankful for you. I went down a black hole of insecurity, resenting my twin flame’s lack of ascension and emotional maturity and lost my faith in my twin flame journey to the point I was researching how to detach my connection. But somehow I got distracted and I came across your video alert. And ive only been a subscriber of yours for a few days. Then I heard your message about having compassion because I was at the place he was. The exact same place. Spirit used you to intervene at what felt my 11th hour. I then was lead to crosswatch readings related to his astrology sign and it was like watching a series of personal readings in his perspective. It brought me to a level of understanding of where my twin is in his heart. And that is with me, despite what my 5 senses fail to show right now. I knew this in my heart as well but i did not stay grounded in that and ego got the best of me momentarily. You were my beautiful divine intervention. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. 🙏🏽😘

  4. As a Pisces and of course an empath, I feel your unrest…can’t sleep these days either…definitely the need to shed plays a big role…I agree but please don’t pay any attention to the haters…your spirit is beautiful and I am new to your channel…a follower now…back to the life…I am not doing criticism well these days if I know it doesn’t come from the heart… I just throw it back at them sharply and feel no remorse so for the most part, I am isolating a lot and enjoying my own company….people are just not nice sometimes…there lack of plays a role too but I am not wearing their sh—….feeling is one thing but wearing is another….my sense of humour is key when I am adrift especially feeling like a fish out of water….be blessed and keep on keeping on…sending positive energy your way….k from Canada

  5. Feeling heavy thoughts on Friday. Almost like a download, and I'm trying to work through it. Feeling so heavy emotionally. :-/ Trying so hard to raise my vibration again. Self-Love.

  6. Hey there!!! I'm new to your channel, but I wanted to say, this has been me for the last WEEK, lol…. heavy… then I realized that it's not MY shit!!! I've been heavily affected by the "purge" so to speak… thankfully today, I feel soooo much better!

  7. Grand Rising those who’s exfoliating Spiritually must Allow All Others to remove by these Retrogrades that which is Masking their Energies

  8. A different style of the Phoenix/Dragon meditation. Self-care. Sit with everything. Thank you for your candour and clarity with your readings and videos. <3 Blessings. Namaste. <3

  9. Love has nothing to do with it what is love anyway- when a person dose well for themselves there is always some out there who wants to knock you down be a better person and take no notice of these people in a way these people makes you take stock of your self but if you take things to heart it sounds as if there is something else that is going on with you yourself something is missing hope no one takes this the wrong way thanks

  10. Watet,fire,Water.. Pieces,Aries, Aquarius. .I did facial last night and put the lotion on the skin..
    Good or bad..naughty nice..
    Sad or happy. .detoxing with black walllnut…purification process..

  11. Feeling you Em, sending loads of Love and hugs 💖 Imma hit the hay myself, stopped in to check on ya 🔮💖

  12. I know exactly what you mean. Well said. I can totally relate. Its been like this for me for 3 months now and I have no idea how to climb outta this hole. Experimenting with meditation etc however I end up thinking all types of ship. Haha. Watching your videos helps me though. Glad that I found this channel. Pisces from South Africa.

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