Fighting Misogyny In The Gay Community

Misogyny is a real problem And, no!
This isn’t another video about the president-elect. Listen up, queens,
’cause if you suck dick and you’re mean to girls this one’s for you. Making out with boys doesn’t mean
you’re immune to being a tool of the patriarchy Or just a tool So, how do we demean and ostracize women? Set foot in a gay bar on a busy Friday night Whenever women enter a sexualized space dominated by gay men, someone is bound
to get their dick in a twist. Oh my god, I didn’t come here to get boobs shoved in my face Look at this bitch! Does she even know she’s at a gay bar? Agh, what a boner killer! No one likes a drunk bachelorette party
coming to gawk at a gay bar No one likes a drunk bachelorette party
coming to gawk at a gay bar It is indeed possible for straight, cisgender women
to invade and objectify our spaces And they do But you don’t get to claim the moral high ground
if your gut reaction to a woman’s presence is “Eww, a vagina” And let’s say you love
seeing straight girls at the bar That’s awesome, but remember that being a gay man doesn’t mean you get to touch women without consent Even if the intent isn’t sexual, the idea that men
are entitled to women’s bodies is— Misogynists, stick the fuck with me. Despite the fact that we all fall under this lovely little umbrella the L’s and the T’s often get shortchanged in favor of the G’s How many lesbian bars do you know of in your city? When’s the last time you were invited to an event by and for trans women? Queer women often experience the same discrimination straight, cis women do in gay-dominated spaces but they’re actually expected to share those spaces with gay men. In a survey of about 3,000 queer women, over a third said they felt excluded at Pride events Some respondents said that the event seemed “catered toward gay men” or that it was mostly organized by men with not a lot of lesbian influence.” This is partly a result of skewed representation Because of the privilege we experience as men we’re usually the first to be offered the mic when it comes to speaking for the queer community. So when we see pictures of the Stonewall riots or Pride parades or even the editorial staff at OUT magazine men are overwhelmingly placed at the center. I’ve even been invited to events where women cis or trans were actively excluded. “Men-only” events are really common in the gay community and that sucks Because if identifying as LGBTQ means existing outside the bounds of conventional gender expression reinforcing those divisions based on rigid gender binary is pretty fucking heteronormative. So how do we become more compassionate allies to the women in our lives? The first step is realizing the ways gay men glorify masculinity Just whip it out! Take a look at any hookup app, and
you’ll likely encounter the phrase “masc for masc” within seconds It’s the mating call of insecure gay bros,
looking for other “DL” or “not obvious” gay guys to have super gay sex with Just, you know, as long as they’re not too gay about it But performing hypermasculinity while searching for that D speaks to a larger problem: the idea that masculinity is somehow more desirable or powerful than femininity Because we are taught women are weak and men are strong we’ve been taught to disguise and reject the femininity within ourselves. But a feminine man is no less of a man He’s just not performing gender the way our culture expects him to and while that makes straight people predictably uncomfortable it’s disappointing to see gay men buy into the same casual misogyny. That personal rejection of the feminine manifests in harmful ways It’s harmful to our straight female allies it’s harmful to queer women and it’s harmful to young queer men
feeling awkward and undesirable in their own bodies. So fuck being a masc bro fuck going to men-only parties and fuck being that dude who loves drag queens, but not women. Make it a point to share some love with the cis and trans ladies gender nonconforming trans femmes and cissy gay boys in your life. We owe women, and ourselves, better

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