Episode 5: Are You There God? It’s Me Darwin | Science vs Religion | Adult Animation


Two minutes until sermon! Is everything taken care of? Yes your holiness.
One minute people! You proof-read the pamphlets?
You polished the collection plates? Yes your holiness. And refreshments for the crew? Enough wine and crackers to last us til
supper. Magnifico. Ahem. Fah fah fah … fire!
Buh buh buh … brimstone! Brim. Stone. Can we get a sound check? Heavenly. Give em hell sir! Ahem. And the Lord said the fearful, the unbelieving,
the sorcerers and the idolators shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone! Can I get an Amen? Huh? What’s going on? Did I miss the rapture? Is this because of those orphans? Those whore orphans? The whorphans? Hello. Are you lost my child? Come in, come
in. Welcome to St. Peter’s Basilica. Oh hello. Come right in. Maybe we can find you a seat.
Something in the front row perhaps? Well actually I’m just… I know, lucky you. It’s not every day one gets to meet the Pope. Actually I could use some directions. Can you tell me where the Science Center is? The wha? Oh, you know the building where they talk
about how the Earth was made. Origins of life, natural disasters, that kind
of stuff. Ah, you probably read about it. Blasphemy! Let me see that. Science? And more science! I thought the church stopped all this nonsense
when we locked up Galileo. And since when do you serfs know how to read
the written word? Oh, never mind. I can see the line from here. Do you think the Super Science Friends are going to show up? The museum is being dedicated to them. Why is Einstein 14? Science saved my mom! I …
I don’t get it. What does science have that religion doesn’t? Why, we’ve got Adam! And Eve! We’ve got plagues! Seven of them! And we’ve got Noah’s Ark too. You can’t tell me they’ve got anything as
good as Noah’s Ark. Yeah, but that all seems a little far fetched.
Where’s your proof any of it even happened? Why don’t you go back in time and film it? That’s what the Super Science Friends would do! Hahahahaha Cardinals. I’ve just had some … divine inspiration. And it is for those reasons why I named him “Schwancy”. Thank you. Well, um … that was certainly informative. Darwin, I believe you’re next. I was going to bring in one of my tortoises, but something … uh … happened … on the
way here. So instead I chose to share the pets that
helped cement my reputation in the scientific community. They are various varieties of tanagers. But you probably know them as… …Darwin’s Finches. Oooh … can I hold one? It was these birds that gave me my first real clue about evolution. Notice the subtle differences in beak, body size and colour. After observing this I realized that all species must share these common bonds. And so I devised this handy diagram. I call it the “Tree of Life”, as a bit of a ribbing to those holy rollers in Rome. Look here. You can see that there are even
more finches than the ones I brought in today. For example the tanager family and … uh… Hold on. Where are they? My finches! There should be over a dozen birds right here! Hey! Don’t look at me. What? What is happening?! No! No no no. No not the seals. No, not the lizards! Not the snakes! No, not the tortoises!
Anything but the delicious tortoises! Nooooooo! Let’s go see what’s up. Am I going to get to show off my pet gerbil or what? His name is Bernie. Z3. I think there’s something going on. Are you detecting any time anomalies? Sigh. It’s fine. It’s not like I was doing anything anyways. Scanning. Seems norma…
Whoa! Oh my God! Oh Jesus! That is not normal. There, there Darwin. I’m here for you. Holy taffy tits! What the damn devil is going on in that Galapagos Islands? Super Science Friends, get to the sciencemobile! The anomaly is originating from 2000 B.C. Unfortunately, because of the size of the anomaly the closest you’d be able to get to it is about 30 miles off the coast. So, you are going to need something a little more sea worthy. Way ahead of you! Let’s go find those birds! Okay, for the 175th time, let’s try to get this Noah’s Ark thing right. You got that doohickey ready? This time we’re gonna try it lion, tiger,
then hippo, then baby kangaroos, then elephants. Got it? You think you can manage that? Yes your holiness. Ah, this time I think we’ve got it. Oh, dang it to heck! How many times is it going to take to get
this right? Do we even have any lions left now? None, sir. Well at least the Romans won’t be feeding
any christians to them in a couple thousand years. There was also a 19th century frigate sailing by in the background, so the shot was ruined anyway. What? Where? Scientists! They’ve come to stop us from proving the validity
of God’s great and holy heavenly word! Sic semper tyrannis! Cardinals! Deus vult! Battle stations! Tally ho! How dare you dirty lab rats try and stop the will of Almighty God! It is beautiful, glorious, Godly, divine, God-will that this ark save all the Earth’s
animals! You’re literally killing all the Earth’s animals. What else is on this boat? As long as I was travelling through time proving
the word of God, I figured I’d go ahead and correct a few things
while I was at it. You see, how can there be dinosaur fossils
making people ask questions about “evolution” when the dinosaurs never went extinct! Mwahahahahaha! Aw, for God’s sake. Hmm? Mmm … nope. Stand aside beardo. I got this one. Whew. That’s right. Come here big bo … whoa whoa! Ow! OW! Okay, this was a mistake! Ow, goddammit. That’s gonna be all kinds of bruised up tomorrow. And God said: I am going to bring floodwaters on the Earth to destroy all life under the heavens. Everything on Earth will perish! So are you gonna call me? Okay, so you have magic God powers.
You’ve proved your point. That’s fine. You were right, we were wrong. How about you not drown all these animals? What kind of God would want you to do that? This is 2000 B.C. That means this is Old Testament God! How does it feel Super Science Friends to have the knowledge that there is more in this universe than your pitiful “science” can explain! Hahahahahaha! If you love knowledge so much, then I’ve got a little piece of… … the Garden … of knowledge… I mean, Garden of Eden … Tree of Knowledge…
for you… SNAKE IN THE GRASS! Apple throw! Jump! Yeah! Science: 1, Religion: 0. Take that. Please sweet beautiful glorious Jesus baby. Come forth from your mangery heaven and aid your blessed servant! Dammit. What the f**k. The one who believes in Me will live, even though they die. Well. See you guys in hell. Did someone call for a Hail Mary? Admiral … give em hell. Get as much as you can! Mmm … oh … that’s delicious… So tender … Juicy! You say your mother left you … and now you’re
out here looking for her. Well … yes, as a matter of fact I have seen
your mother. Why she’s just inside here! That’s right.
Come on. Just follow me. Why hello there young man!
Welcome to the Church of Teslaology. Would you care to have your A/C levels audited? Tesla be with you!




Comments
  1. The historical Inaccuracies it BURNS (with that whole Galileo thing The catholic church was fine with it until they found out people were switching to Baptism because they were a bit more strict wit the science. then they said "sorry buddy no spinney earth for you") so in other words, get. reckted. normie. scum.

  2. Re: Darwin's finches 🐦. They don't prove the theory of evolution (and yes, it's still called a theory to date) as the finches are, well, still finches. What this does prove, however, is adaptation instead.

  3. Where in Leviticus does it say you have to eat your children? I couldn't find anything about that.

  4. I think that the cannon that killed God didn't make God burst into coins; the cannonball was filled with coins. Apparently, God tells people to stop worshiping money because it can become more powerful/tempting than religion. So God is killed by something he admits can kill him.

  5. So in this universe God exist but at the same time he didn't know that dinosaurs existed. Well the lore in this universe is pretty fucked up

  6. In what other show can you say you saw Winston Churchill father a bunch of scientists and a teen Albert Einstein and kill god

  7. From this point on Heavan will be a Britich Protectorate under the rule of the Queen Elizabeth the second (new testament god bless her)

  8. What a masterful way to leave something for science and for religion in this. Gods death was so comical I didn’t even care about how that would work.

  9. Guess you didn’t know Darwin was a devout Christian, he didn’t believe “his” theory was anything but a thought exercise, also it’s just this last pope who’s evil…. ya the 1940’s Pope was no saint, y’all are pretty fucked how you look at God, I wouldn’t worry tho, you’d have to be like democrat level hitlery voter evil to burn for all eternity

  10. So to sum up this timeline God existed in the past but then science came along and killed him, sounds familiar

  11. this is the most blasphemous shit i have seen all year and how can u kill what created all will a fast moving ball

  12. Wasnt darwin christian? Also fun fact darwin isnt athiest people think that just because he made the theory of evolution idk why

  13. I love the articles in the newspaper, but they are so hard to read, so when he flipped the page I was like, "goddammit, now I have to spend time squinting my eyes and reading these hilarious excerpts."

  14. after over a year…and i just realized that one of the cardinal at 5:00 was giving one of the choir boy a bj hahaha…or maybe it was my dirty mind lol

  15. i can't believe you guys actually wrote proper news articles when movies that cost millions of dollars just repeat phrases or make complete jargon

  16. So you may have heard of raptor sex bomb but have you heard of t-Rex sex Bomb also Old Testament god really funny also this is a perfect church representation

  17. Anyone noticed how Little Philip has been upset by all members of the team?
    Freud (ep1) for turning him into the Oedipus Complex;
    Einstein (ep2) for stealing his balloon;
    Curie (ep3) for beating him at the Nobel Prizes;
    Darwin (ep4) for spilling tea making him wet the bed;
    Tesla (ep5) for the Church of Teslaology;
    Tapputi (ep6) for driving over his mum.

  18. Did you know catholics actually trust science these days? They certainly believe the Earth is round and in the evolutionary theory. ALSO a LOT of things are symbolic in the bible. Do you seriously think they would fit that many animals on an arch? The flood was probably much smaller covering some small territory if anything.

  19. U know something that dumb they it's sound made up of what the bible say but then people say we came a dot that a fish that had legs and turned into a monkey and then a humans th as so dumb and there no proof but in the bible we have found I think some of the scrolls of Daniel and other parts of the bible also people don't do this kissing thing in the video

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