Hey, America! Do you love NFL football? Of
course you do. It’s by far our country’s favorite sport. (fart noise) Come on. There is literally nothing more American than
football. You know what else the NFL is? SOCIALISM. During Super Bowl week in 2015, Americans
watched a combined total of over 13,000 years of NFL programming on ESPN alone. That’s just
one network during one week. Da da da. What the %#%!? The NFL’s business model is a revenue sharing
system, where the enormous amount of TV money it generates is split equally among all 32
teams, regardless of how disproportionate the market share of each team’s city. That is a socialist system. You commie bastards!
God damn pinko mother $#%!&ers! So if the most American thing ever is fundamentally socialist
-and it’s working great -why are so many Democrats keep shoving down our throats that Bernie
Sanders isn’t electable? I’m looking at you, Barney Frank!
“He is not remotely electable” Why not, Barney? Why not? Bernie Sanders doesn’t want to force everyone
to have the same wage. He doesn’t want to take your land, or your property, or your
guns. And he certainly doesn’t want to execute you. The democratic socialism Bernie Sanders
is promoting is the simple concept that every American should have access to food, housing,
education, health care, and meaningful employment as basic human rights. If being in favor of human rights makes someone
“unelectable”, what are we looking for in a candidate? “I just sold an apartment for $15 million
dollars to somebody from China!” Hey, Donald -if this country’s greatest threat
is China, STOP SELLING THEM APARTMENTS, ya %%#!%ing idiot! You know there’s a pretty popular guy a couple
of thousand years ago who shared Bernie’s philosophy on basic human rights. Plenty of
people nowadays that claim to hate socialism so much seem to really dig him. I’m talking about Jesus. Christ. Jesus ain’t no god damn commie! Jesus Christ?