There are now 15 Democrats running in the primary.
That’s so many people. Look at all those faces. Look at all of those faces! They’ve got enough people to start the world’s
worst soccer team. And because there are so many
Democrats running, many Democratic voters
are wondering, “How do I know
which one to choose?” Well, for Ronny Chieng,
the choice is clear. Here’s his report. The 2020 presidential campaign.
Like my afternoon poop, it’s not quite here yet,
but I can already feel it. Out of all the candidates, there’s only one
I can see myself in. I’m Andrew Yang, and I’m running for president
as a Democrat in 2020. CHIENG:
He’s a successful businessman, and I don’t know
if it’s the cut of his suits or the way he lights up a room, but there’s just something
about this guy that makes me want to vote
for him based on zero research. Okay, so, you’re Asian. You’re running for president. What else is there to know? Uh, my platform. Right. Uh, I thought
your platform was… being Asian. There are many,
many other Americans who care more
about my stance on the issues than, frankly, uh, you know,
what my race is. -Which is?
-Asian. Yes. And that’s all
we need to know here. Okay, let’s wrap this up. ♪ ♪ You know, uh, I think
we should discuss my platform. If you want to talk
about what you believe or whatever, go for it. I’m gonna edit all this out,
by the way. I believe that every
American adult at the age of 18 should get $1,000 a month
free and clear from the government
to do whatever they want. For working hard, right? Oh, for being a citizen
of this great country. CHIENG:
As his ads show, Yang is all about
universal basic income, the idea that the government should give everyone
a monthly check, even if they’re not working. You can’t just give people
free money. That’s the only reason
people work. If I was getting paid
without having to work… You can’t quit your job
on $12,000 a year. It would it make
so that Americans can transition as technology is eating away
many, many jobs. Artificial intelligence
is around the corner. Oh, my God.
Artificial intelligence? Robots? That’s your thing? -Yes.
-Dude, you are making it so hard to blindly vote
on identity politics right now. Projections are
that about 44% of American jobs are subject to automation. Self-driving cars and trucks
are going to displace -five million Americans
who drive for a living. -Shit. It’s going to displace hundreds
of thousands of bookkeepers, lawyers and on and on. CHIENG: According to Yang,
everyone but me should get ready
to be replaced. However, budget policy expert
Bob Greenstein doesn’t think that will happen. Robots are coming for some jobs, but they’re not going to replace
all the jobs or even most of the jobs. But are you
only defending robots because you’re a robot? No, I’m not a robot. Prove it. Which of these squares
has a stop sign? -Three of them.
-Yeah, point to the scares. This one, that one,
and this is the third. Very good. But I’m not sure
I just proved I’m not a robot. -What do you mean? -Well,
maybe you could develop a robot that could identify
the stop sign squares, too. What? So, Bob might not be human,
but he’s got to recognize that Yang’s universal
basic income is a winning idea. UBI is a beautiful idea. Thank you.
That’s all I needed to know. Well, it actually isn’t
all you need to know. The problem is
it’s a beautiful idea that’ll never really happen. Ronny, it costs
nearly $4 trillion a year. Why wouldn’t people vote
for that? Have you ever had someone wave
cash money in your face? -Not really.
-It feels like this. Can you feel that? I can feel the wind. That’s some cash wind. Where does the money
for the cash wind come from? But, Bob, it’s no fun
asking where this came from. Policies only really work
if they can happen. In the real world… CHIENG:
I don’t need to listen to Bob. All he cares about is reality. If this presidency
has taught us anything, it’s that reality
doesn’t matter anymore. Now we’re going to have
the space force because it’s a whole… CHIENG: So, if Andrew Yang
is gonna stand a chance in this election,
he’s gonna have to learn what really excites
today’s voters. If we had a value-added tax at
even half the European level, -we’d generate…
-You’re using all these numbers and all this nerd shit. Listen, there’s only one thing that wins elections
in America, okay? That’s fear and hate. That’s two things. Okay, again with the numbers. People are jobless, angry, and ready to blame
their problems on another race, and robots are the one race
it’s okay to hate. Yeah, well,
robots aren’t a race, for one. Good, deny their humanity.
That’s a great first step. The next time you campaign,
I want you to go out and say, “Robots are causing all the
robot crime in robot Chicago.” -There is no Robot Chicago.
-Doesn’t matter. We’re not talking about truth.
We’re talking about hate and fear and getting in power for Asian people and getting revenge
on every single person -who ever said we weren’t
good enough. -Yeah, I’m for… I’m for none of those things. Okay, good thing
I’m here to help you out. So, this is an ad we prepared
for your campaign. Andrew Yang knows America
is being invaded by robots. They’re sneaking
across the border, taking the jobs we love and imposing their same-sex
robot sharia law. Andrew Yang
will stop the robots -from banging your wife
-(whirring) and becoming
your son’s new dad. Yang 2020. You will not replace us. What do you think? It’s kind of the opposite of where we need to go. So you do not approve
this message? No, I do not approve
this message. You do not what?
Sorry, I missed that. Approve this message. And what-what
is your name again? I’m Andrew Yang. Yang 2020. (bleep) the robots. (bleep) them to hell. I’m Andrew Yang and I–
approve this message. (laughs) Ronny Chieng, everyone.