Cream by David Firth

After six years of splitting, stretching, and firing distorted particles at one another, we finally have a product. Cream. Facial blemishes will be a thing of the past. How about this botched nose job? This amputated stub isn’t a challenge for Cream. Hold on! How’s that possible? Using our smart awareness system, Cream detects the most likely problem and attempts to solve it by correcting the molecular structure. Even quite vague problems, such as general ugliness. Instant fixes for: Any kind of aging. Fractures and lacerations. The recently deceased. What the hell?! But Cream isn’t just limited to the human body. Everything broken can and will be fixed, Broken is no longer an issue. I don’t understand, Mom. What’s happening? Ah, yes. The implicit formulation of dynamic wave computational elements allowed time step size to be selected according to accuracy requirements. Awww A damaged mind is no longer a life obstacle If treated with a Cream brain injection, worries, doubts, mental conditions and general stupidity are all now curable. What is your name? I have yet to be assigned a name. Well? Choose one. Arnold Billington Smythe. It’s a bit silly that name though isn’t it? I have to agree with you there, Steve. I wasn’t thinking straight. I don’t feel very well, daddy. Not only do I feel better, but I am also a better person. Feeling empty and bored now all your problems can simply be Creamed away? Yes, Cream has taken the magic out of life. Well, Cream it back! Hooray, my enthusiasm came back. Cream yourself happy! Cream the world beautiful. Cream, the everything fixer. Because Cream is the fix-all cream, it is constantly fixing and improving itself To be submerged in Cream is to continuously improve yourself in every way possible. Is he dead? No, he exponentially improved himself physically and mentally to a zenith of absolute perfection, subsequently evolving into a being of pure light energy. Is it uh, possible that you will eventually run out of the raw material to make the Cream? Yes, we are about six months from running out completely. which Is why the new version of Cream will have self-duplicating properties. Cream is now potentially infinite. Cream could bring an end to all war, famine, and suffering. Rendering money essentially obsolete. No… No. No! No… Cream causes AIDS and is made from dead babies by pedophiles, a shocking new report confirms. Here is some terrifying footage That was a huge explosion! Loads of people died and it was all caused by Cream. People are being urged to throw out all Cream immediately. Food piracy is a crime. You wouldn’t duplicate a life-threatening disease. You wouldn’t duplicate a kestrel. So don’t duplicate food. If you eat duplicated food, you’ll get AIDS. But what do the public think, are they angry about Cream? Yes, I am angry about Cream! I don’t want three different types of AIDS! how do I know what’s safe to eat now? My neighbor Creamed himself to become a god-like being of pure light energy. Now I’m pretty sure he is just watching me in the shower! New Cream, the wonder cream that fixes all spots and blemishes. Simply massage it into the face and within a week your skin will be clear and smooth.

  1. I have opened a merch shop for my stuff. I think you'd better buy something before we all die together.

  2. Why did you have to make it look like semen. I shall never get the image of cream all over an old ladys face outta my head

  3. How can be something look that real and fake at the same time?!
    I'm scared and confused can my momma pick me up??!!

  4. Doctor: puts cream on kid's head
    Kid: ah yes cream is power it's making me better so it fix me because it's cream it's cool the color is white I like by the way it's too much to me make me even better… okay bye.

  5. Life will be so boring at the presence of cream we don't have to work we don't need money for buy anything and anything will be fixed easily .

  6. That doesn't make sense… have cream human intelligence will become smarter will know the true about cream and news doesn't have to make a fake news that pointless because it's no benefit to make a news to reject cream. But if have a cream to make our life all become rich is a bad thing Because no one will work only some job let the robot to do it But still has a problem of a big company

  7. This sorta happened to hemp… the paper, fuel, fabric industries didn't want the competition… so they used "yellow journalism" to trash hemp and link it to pot to make people think they were the same. Then used large amounts of money to get them placed on the list so no one could research them.
    Other countries did do research though, which slowly began to prove that those industries lied to get rid of it.
    Hemp can be used for many, many products. That's what pissed off the industry giants, they didn't want to lose their grip on the money, didn't want to share the profits and torpedoed the needs of the people for power.
    check out the reality:

  8. This is exactly what Big Tobacco is doing to the vaping industry since a lot of people switched to vaping. They’re spreading false information on the news so that vaping gets banned, so that people will return to cigarettes.

  9. I want… Creem
    I don’t care if it’s bad… I want Creem
    Couldn’t you just use Creem to fix Creem or to fix your aids?

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