Commune of 6 Families | Living in Community – Sharing Life

80% of adults feel that they don’t have
enough time with the people they care about. That’s too much, that’s too many.
That’s not me because we have this practical space where we share the
burden. Welcome to our house this is an old mill 500 years old that we created and started a collective in I’m Helene and I’m stay-at-home-mum. And my name is
Frederick and I work as an educator and have my own company with a conversation game called “Snak” where I do a lot of public speaking as well around schools
and stuff. And we would love to show you our home in this big area that we live in. That’s me, Helen, Dawn, Saga and Elmo and this is our house and this our
corner of the house. We have these three rooms. This is the living room Two years ago we we got this possibility
of renting this space this like huge facility and we didn’t really know
anything before we came here and met with the owner and I was instantly in
love with this place. So when we saw it was in the in the late winter and
nothing had bloomed yet where you just see how everything would how it would
become and how you could use all these different areas of the of the
ground and everything. We lived in an apartment and we had two kids out of three at that time and for us that was the point where we couldn’t stay and be
contained in a small apartment anymore We both grew up in the countryside,
having grass and green stuff around and for me like I read and dive into these
concepts a lot and knowing how much your kids get out of these circumstances I
couldn’t really bear living in an apartment and not giving them it and also
just all those days where the weather was amazing and you
couldn’t get anything out of it because you had to do so much to get out because we lived on the fourth floor and just all the practicalities of
getting out of the door was just a stomach cause of not getting there. And
the kids are in here.This is just a place for play right? Every kid that
comes into this house immediately runs into this small house. I think it’s it’s
a fantasy for all kids to feel big and that’s what you do in a small house, right We tried to hide the toys so we can take
them out. This is the LEGO closet where you have like small compartments of
worlds right? Now these were just a mess but this is like the city superhero
world, you can take out and then play within that. So we made a bed out of an ordinary
bunk bed but they they sleep together because they want to be tucked in
together so I started out by building this and then they didn’t use it and they
always wanted me to build a fort like “built me a fort dad” and then I just had to
built one permanently at some point because then I didn’t have to do it all
time. We can have the idea that we have a cramped space because we feel we live
inside but they live all over the place That’s their home A lot of things that I thought would be
really hard like sharing a bathroom for instance. I thought that would – with
another family – that would suck so bad and it never really has. I think the
practicalities of course are something and we have had families moving
from here because it was too tight for them. I think that’s the most striking
learning from here is and the best part of living so close together is that you
have people around. And you’re more. You share the burden so I only cook once
a week which is amazing. All that extra time I have with my kids and relaxing
and I never feel stressed. I never feel that I don’t have the time
for the important stuff in life so that’s the best part:
sharing the burden, sharing… and then the community. The worst part is that you
live with human beings which means that there’s always a struggle and there’s
always internal things that you have to figure out. Then again you learn so much
from that and the closeness and all those things are just worth while This is our bedroom and we don’t have a downsize bed as you can see. That’s the
opposite. So we have three beds combined together because in the end
there’s always five of us in the mornings everybody comes in it’s just nice to
have the space. We decided to have all clothes in here, yeah, so we
don’t have the kids clothed in their own room because it’s just a mess when they
have the possibility of dragging everything out yeah so it’s safe zone
in here, yeah The fun thing about the room though is that this is
the house is 500 years old and this wall is one of the parts that is 500 years
old which means that it’s not isolated or anything. In the warm somedays like right now they are hot from the inside because they warm so deeply
and in the wintertime you can then guess what happens…
So these radiators don’t do the job that proper. So before we got electric ones we had 9 degrees. Oh that’s cold. But that’s what
you said too that you found this house and you wanted to have this community
and that was kind of the primary and then the house was not ideal
for it but you made it work We didn’t have the possibility of rearranging the rooms or anything because we don’t own we rent it
and we have it for 3 years which was then a very good way of making a trial for ourselves.How does this work and how can we live this way? I mean living in that apartment block and not knowing your neighbors and seeing that elderly woman and not having a.. we got a relation. We had a relationship with her but then you
had to do an extra effort for it. Where as here this is the part of the deal: we look each other in the eye and we have to get out of it well. I think that
vulnerability and strength of being able to have relations and not just people
next door is something that for me is just way more natural and way more how it’s supposed to be. It’s way harder as well and vulnerable. It’s like the
vulnerability word is the best to describe it. Vulnerability is the key of
actually of actually knowing each other and sharing life yeah We’re six families. We have five couples and one mom with her kids. It’s actually
really a good group because a small group it’s more like if two people
agree and one family don’t agree it can lead to more discussion or something. And six people or six families that it’s really a good
group and it really works. But I think that when they (our kids) are older we’re going to have our own space so when we close the door it’s also the kitchen and
also the toilet. For instance having kids you often have to really plan being with
other adults like friends and sharing those two hours of the conversation can
be magical because you have you planned it and you got there. Whereas here they
happen. They’re not just something you plan for and decide for; they just
suddenly happen which for me is one of the most magical things. I think. That you
can actually have a normal conversation with another adult person
Before we lived here I baked a lot, lot of cakes and stuff and then she said: “You never bake anymore?” No because it’s so complicated in
the kitchen but I can feel like that’s a part of me I’m
missing and I really want to go back to The best thing and that overrules
all other struggles is that we live in a forest. We live in
this place and every time I feel numb or I feel way down of the struggles
internally or anything that could feel hard, I just take a walk and realize
that I live in a forest and the forest is all around us. That makes up for it
and then just the time; the time of not cooking, not cleaning for an hour after
dinner, not cutting the grass or having a garden. we are 11 adults and every
11th week each of us have to decide what we’re having for
5 days and buy all that food We do it online so it is just delivered
on our doorstep Monday morning and then there is food for the rest of the week.
Then the dishes is 10 minutes because there are six of us doing it together.
This is like a machine coming in. All those things just give more time and time is
different for money because you can always find more money but there’s no
more time to give. There’s no more. It’s not infinite, it’s finite. It’s there. You have 24 hours every day There’s no more of it. So when you get
that, that’s the most valuable thing I can create I think

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