CBT for Social Anxiety Disorder: Using downward arrow and thought challenging techniques

okay so you said that when you're at work you really worry that you're going to say something stupid yeah that's something that's always on my mind what would be so bad about that if you did say something stupid at work because people would think I was weird then what would be so bad if people at work thought you are weird they wouldn't want to be friends of me and what would be so bad about that if people that worked and want to be friends with you well I just have no one to talk to your work then what would be so bad about having our to talk to at work that's I mean the shoots can go on the whole day so just be by myself the whole time and what would be so bad about being by yourself you know for a whole day a genero I guess I should be used to it now I spend a lot of my time by myself that must be tough what does that mean to you that you spend a lot of time on your own you know I guess it's just like I spend so much time by myself that's kind of like I'm not even worth being friends with so it sounds like deep down that you think that you're not worth being friends with that's quite quite a negative belief I mean how much would you say that you believe that out of a hundred if a hundred is where you believe it totally in zeros where you don't believe it at all yes like ninety five hundred when did you start believing that uhm I think it was probably at school yeah and get school and what was it about school that that made you start to believe that you weren't worth being friends with just like quite a lot of things like a wouldn't have anyone said at lunch or people's birthdays and stuff I wasn't invited and you know like I was the last one picked for teams and stuff like that and what is it now that makes you think that that's still true I mean it's kind of similar at work obviously differences that it's it's worked law school but you know but people go for drinks and stuff after work or after a shoe and I just kind of excluded a lot of time mm-hmm that sounds tough and is there anything that makes you think that it's not true that that you are worth being friends with I guess my friends and family would say I am like I try to make a lot of time for my friends and stuff okay so it sounds like deep down you have this thought that you're not worth being friends with and that started at school when you had trouble making friends at school and that you can't always pick for teams and that now at work it feels like the same thing is happening and that you're not always invited out for drinks with people after work and that sometimes you feel that you're excluded from their social groups but then that's not the whole story that on the other hand you are close to family and you do have friends who would say that it's not true that you are with being friends with and in CBT we do a thing called thought challenging where when we have these negative thoughts sometimes we we actually put them up to two scrutiny we weigh up the evidence for and against them and I like to think of it as putting the thought on trial could we do that now where we just actually try and weigh up the evidence for and against that thought a bit more okay okay so if I just put two columns here so for and against and it sounds like the evidence for this thought that makes you think that it is true is there difficulty at school yeah making friends being picked for teams and difficulty at work feeling excluded sometimes from groups yeah but actually in this other column we have that you are close with your family and that you have some close friends okay now moving back to this first column is there anything else that makes you think it's true that that you're not worth being friends with oh just like I kind of don't go to a lot of stuff and people have like gatherings and things and a lot the time I just I don't go and okay I'll just stay at home don't go to parties what kind of parties are we talking like big parties small parties and mainly big ones and if there's a lot of people there and just find it really it kind of makes me really anxious so a lot of the time I just prefer not even to be in that situation in the first place okay so you don't go to larger parties and events okay is there anything else that maybe thinks that it makes you think that it's not true that actually you are worth being friends with and I mean I guess my friends would say that I was and I do I do have close friends and you know and it's like their stuff that's important to them I always make sure that I think about that and even if I find it stressful I'll always make sure that I can kind of put them first okay so your friends would say that you are worth being friends with yeah and it sounds like you put your friends first yeah I do make sure I try I try and do that and what kind of ways do you put your friends first and I guess when it's birthdays or in it something important to them um I'll always make sure that I'm there and that I put a lot of thought into presents and stuff like that can you give me an example of a time that you've done that and it was my friend's birthday a few weeks ago and we did like a big surprise at hers and I made a cake and stuff like that so so you actually helped to organize events for your friends yeah is there anything that you do that you wouldn't do if you weren't a good friend and I guess so I kind of always put myself in situations even if I find it kind of it makes me anxious if it's for my close friends and I know that is something that's important to them then I'll always put them first and make sure I'm there so you'll tolerate your anxiety if it means something to a friend of yours yeah okay so at the moment in the four category we've got that you had difficulty making friends at school that you're having difficulty now at work making friends and then you don't go to larger parties or events but actually there's a lot of evidence in the against column evidence that would suggest that actually you are worth being friends with and you're a good friend that you're close with your family you're close with your friends your friends would say that you're a good friend you put your friends first and even when you're anxious you tolerate that anxiety if you know it'll mean something to them that when things are important to your friends like birthdays and you'll make a real effort you'll even actually go to the effort of organizing events and baking cakes and doing things like that for other people and is there anything else that you do that makes you think that maybe you are a good friend you are worth being friends with I mean I still have my friends so I guess if I wasn't worth being friends with though I wouldn't have these friends I've had quite quite a long time okay so it sounds like you've got long-term friendships as well so you might have trouble making friends but when you make them you stick with them yeah okay I was going to give you this list now to have a look at okay how do you feel now that you're looking at that list and it's weird there's actually kind of more stuff in the against and there is in the for I guess also love the stuff that is in the four columns kind of things that I make happen like I don't go to things hmmm yeah it seems like some of its kind of in my in my hands so it's not that you're not worth being friends with but actually that you're choosing not to engage with people always yeah yeah I think so yeah okay and if I was asking now you know this idea that you're not worth being friends with how much do you believe that now that we've done this exercise where 100 is where you really believe that you're not worth being friends with in zeros that you don't believe it um I guess I'd say maybe 40 I think I do still think that it might be true but I think I believe it less than I did before

  1. Beni bu şekilde videoya çekip,burada yayınlasalardı yaşadığım utancın tarifi olmazdı.

  2. I personally felt this approach; one question after another, was rather like an interrogation. I understand this is a model. and one that is probably used differently in reality. But for me, this session seemed rushed, with rash judgements being made, without really listening to what was being said!

  3. "what would be so bad about not having any friends?"
    answer:" I'd feel so sad and lonely, I'd hang myself eventually
    "what would be so bad about you hanging yourself?"
    "well, lady, I won't have the pleasure of being alive enough to whack you on the head for asking me stupid questions"

  4. this is great the "putting the thought on trial " is a great way to make it easy to remember in everyday life thank you for this video it refilled my motivation to keep doing the work

  5. I would probably slap anyone that answered all my issues with "So what would be so bad about that?" If she didn't think her feelings were bad she wouldn't need help. Thank goodness for really caring professional therapists!

  6. I am an avid #MentalHealthAwareness advocate and performer, and I love this so much. I travel the country trying to bring that awareness on stages, in classrooms, hospitals, and on my YouTube channel, so I get excited when I see other advocates. 💙❤

  7. I found out that the root for my social anxiety (still working through it) began after being molested for 4 years and burying shame because of it….feeling ugly, not good enough and keeping things to hide for that long without telling anybody….eeekkkkkk

  8. Im 20 i need to escape this its ruining my social life….Its started in my chilhood i was bullied from 4th grade all the way to 10thgrade…

  9. I'm learning that I can challenge my thoughts and to accept myself sometimes is good. Great vid!

  10. … we can't all be amazing. I think ACCEPTING that we are crap with some things and aren't afraid to admit it helps 🙂 social anxiety is all about protecting our ego. Once we accept what we struggle with and can see it face on it makes things easier.

  11. I think the human desire to label all these so called mental issues is one thing that's causing them, as a personal carer I've learned people tend to look at the disability before the person, we have this twisted idea of what normal is and try to push people to be what we think they should be, rather we should just accept them as they are and let them live the way they want to, if you fear driving ask yourself do really need a car? there are millions of people that live a good life without a car. if you are anxious in social situations who says you can't live an isolated life with only the people who make you feel good? we need to steer away from this control system and bloody equality, WE ARE NOT ALL EQUAL, we are are individuals who each prefer different types of lives

  12. Wow, this made me tear up, it made me nervous and just.. very emotional. Diagnosed with social anxiety most of my life. It has been 4 years since I left my therapist, she left a bad taste in my mouth because she didn't keep things confidential that she promised to. Recently though, I have been considering trying another. It scares the hell outta me to talk to someone but I have been only getting worse and feel I need to push out of my safe zone. I have heard wonderful things about CBT and, this video helps understand what I will be getting into & makes me a bit less anxious..
    I am just so bad at opening up, It will take time to trust a new therapist…

  13. Is it just a matter of creating rapport then convincing someone with low self worth that they're OK.

  14. I have a social anxiety and I'm in slow death 😟……..I want to change my life …I want to live in another country I am from Morocco in north Africa i wanna leave my city to start a new life in love and peace this is my dream …. I am 22 years old but the problem is that I don't have the money to travel …My father is dead and my family poor ….is a very difficult life and I wanna change my life for the better but I don't know what I will do……….😑😓

  15. "What would be so bad about that?"
    Well…I might become suicidal because I've been rejected…
    "What would be so bad about th-shit hold on….uh…."

  16. Do natural popular anxiety treatment like Atoractove Secrets really work and if so, how effective are they? I've noticed several amazing things about this popular anxiety secrets.

  17. Social anxiety is normal. Overly anxious people are on a higher intellect spectrum. You will struggle with it and then it will transform into MDD. Then you wont give a crap. Your brain is telling you "Okay now you are a old person" "Your maturity is way advanced because you are on a higher intellect ,and there is nothing on earth that will stimulate you bad or good." it is suffering. Normal people dont see the big picture.

  18. I am studying to be a school counselor and I absolutely love your use of Socratic questioning to help the client. This is helping me a lot! It also seems if you’re using a person centered approach; integrating the two. Person centered bc i definitely see the empathy.

  19. ahh, a good old thought record. I am currently studying the postgraduate diploma in cbt and it's definitely interesting to see how the techniques i've learned thus far are being used and the therapist seems to be executing them quite well. I just stumbled upon this channel so it seems i'll be watching some more videos to give me tips. Thanks

  20. I’ve had social anxiety for as long as I can remember. Though, it started out very severely when I was younger, something called selective mutism. Which is a very severe form of social anxiety where children (usually younger) ‘decide’ not to speak to anyone. Or at least that’s what some people think. Though, to me it was more like I was physically completely incapable of doing so. No matter how hard I tried, not a single word would come out my mouth. I wouldn’t speak to teachers, friends, my grandparents and even my close immediate family (that I lived with) at one point. But it got bette. I slowly started to talk to more and more people. Now here I am. 16 years old. In my last year of secondary school. No longer classed as having ‘selective’ mutism. (Which I’m proud of myself for, because I’ve come a long way.) But I am still struggling with social anxiety in general. I can’t put my hand up in class. If attention is drawn to me, my face my burn up and turn right red which only makes me feel even MORE embarrassed. I avoid certain people and teachers so I don’t have to talk to them. I have very few friends. I’m afraid to participate in after school activities or during class etc. For example, everyone thinks that I’m just lazy because I never put effort into PE lessons, they pick on me. Call me lazy, boring, can’t be bothered etc. But the truth is that I just can’t put effort in because I’m so SO afraid of people judging me and pointing me out or congratulating me for doing well or for just being good at something. It would make me feel stupid. And I KNOW it’s insane. Trust me, I do. But it’s how my brain works and I can’t help it. You’d think that I’d think I get more attention drawn to me by not putting in effort and being ‘lazy’ but I think otherwise. And I can’t explain why. Maybe that’s a deeper issue, who knows. But another thing is I can’t even eat in front of people. I find it so difficult to actually eat or drink in front of someone. Because, what if I drop a bit of my sandwich or something is round my mouth or I accidentally choke on my food etc etc etc, in my brain, people are staring at me and judging me and just waiting for me to slip up in some way and when I do I’ll get laughed at and I’ll be humiliated for life. I can’t even discuss what I’ve eaten the day before or recently etc because I’m afraid that someone will judge me and think I’m unhealthy and call me fat and spread things about me. I remember this one time my friend invited me round her house for dinner and she wanted me to get on her school bus (I don’t usually get on buses) to her house with her and have dinner there with her. But I couldn’t. Because I was scared that I would have to socialise with people on the bus from my school that I don’t usually talk to. And that when I had dinner at her house, everyone would stare and I couldn’t handle eating in front of her (back then it was so bad that I would eat lunch at school, I would have to starve because I was so afraid of being judged, things are a little better now.) and then I thought that I could just not eat what she gives me but then I’d look like I’m ungrateful and spoilt and then it would be her mum that’s judging em instead. Do I just didn’t go and missed out on a fun opportunity because of it. I don’t even have the confidence to ask my mum if I can go to real CBT in real life. Which is why I’m here.Social anxiety stops me from living my life. Doing what I want to do. And I’m trying everything I can to make it stop and take back control. Because I would give absolutely ANYTHING to make that happen. And you should too. This is my story that I just wanted to share. It was more for me than anything. Just to go through everything with my self and try to sort things out in my head, if you get what I’m trying to say. But I’m hoping maybe other people can relate and know that their not alone and we just have to help each other get through this. If you read all this, you deserve an award 😂 . Keep trying. Never give up because remember, you’ve improved before, so you can do it again and again and again.

  21. Almost the entire approach for the first half is saying 'and what is it about..?'
    Just stay at home and ask yourself that about your own thoughts 👎

  22. I challenge everyone to seek therapy. You never know…you may learn something about yourself and how to live a life of quality. I'm on my own journey.

  23. Does Atoractove Secrets really work? I notice a lot of people keep on talking about Atoractove Secrets. But Im uncertain if it is good enough to completely erased your social anxiety.

  24. so, what would be so bad if you die of a heroin overdose? well, um, I would be smothered in dirt, and nobody will show up at my funeral. so, what would be so bad about that? well dirt will be in my mouth and nobody would care, and people will be dancing and pissing over my grave. So, what would be bad about that?

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