Capitalism Hits Home: What's Happening to American Men - Part 2



hello this is dr. Harriet fraud on capitalism its home an interpersonal update this is a show about the intersection of capitalism class and our personal lives Terry Crews is a very big imposing well-maintained and muscular NFL linebacker former linebacker as well as a well known actor author and also a brave person in the me to movement who talked about his sexual abuse survival as well as her survival of child abuse as a little boy here he is testifying against toxic masculinity he promotes the right of men to be thoughtful personally accountable responsible appropriately vulnerable introspective and compassionate people here it is toxic masculinity you know a lot of people believe that it doesn't exist it's been a buzzword it's been one of those things where like you know you hear it so much that it kind of loses its effect but I'm gonna be real with you guys listen first of all I know I got on a soup but I'm gonna keep it so real we're gonna get real for this 15 minutes I just want to tell you what toxic masculinity did to me and how I was a part of it first of all I was raised by toxic masculinity my earliest memory literally I probably was on four or five one of the most vivid memories I've ever had is watching my father punch my mother in the face as hard as he could and all I could think about when I saw her crumpled to the floor was okay he says he loves her like what would he do to me and so I got a lesson I got a real quick lesson and how the rules go down okay might makes right all right and one thing that blew me away is that as I grew older I started to realize wait a minute first of all in this world of toxic masculinity when you watch your mother being terrorized and being intimidated and being beaten you start to realize okay wait a minute first of all you can't beat them you got to join them okay then I realize me Terry Crews I realize and thought in my head that I was more valuable than women simply because it was a man because everything in my life growing up told me that you got to say I'm from the hood I'm from Flint Michigan okay and things that were told to me and my first experiences growing up as a young man probably twelve thirteen years old was like hey man you gotta have gang you gotta have game with the women you have to tell them you lie to them you have people tell you a tit I had older men tell me hey man look you give a girl two good weeks she'll spend three years chasing those two good weeks pimp mentality was all a part of my young culture where it was like you weren't even a man until you slept with at least ten women use them abuse them and threw them away lie to them tell them that you love them and walk away you have to understand because a lot of times people don't believe it gets that real but I'm trying to tell you I was instructed in this they were and I was like but I like her and they were like you you do not love this do not even show your love Terry Crews took personal responsibility he knew he had to change however what's happening to men is a social as well as a personal problem let's look at what happened to change masculinity it wasn't just a psychological change there were huge socio-economic changes behind it between 1820 and 1970 met white men got used to every generation doing better than the last they got better and better jobs with family wages that paid for a dependent woman at home cooking cleaning giving emotional service giving sexual services taking care of children taking care of men as a full-time job in the home white men at that time got to wage bonuses because they were in a scarce labor market also they were in a racist and sexist labor market for which the best jobs were reserved for white men white men got one bonus for their whiteness and another bonus for their maleness that stopped by the 1970s it didn't stop because refugees honed in or because of women or because of minorities as Rush Limbaugh would like us to think capitalists no longer had a scarce labor market they could exploit the whole world and make more money technology allowed multinational communication systems it allowed computers mechanization Robitaille zation that allowed people to mechanize computerize robotize and most importantly outsource what were well-paid men's jobs those jobs were sent to places like India China Pakistan Bangladesh where there are zero or very weak environmental regulations or labor rights when I say low wages in these places I'm not kidding the highest paid workers in that region are the Chinese who earned three dollars on average three dollars and sixty cents an hour and their hours are enormous the second highest are wage laborers in India who make between 40 cents and a dollar 20 an hour wages are even lower in Pakistan and Bangladesh it was capitalists that deserted American workers and is as a reward for that desertion in mechanization and computerization robot ization and particularly outsourcing they reaped billions and billions of dollars they took their billions home and with their billions they bought our media they bought our politicians which allowed them to elect people who never mentioned that the problems in our society the problems of decent jobs frozen wages and disruptions in what were traditional families not that I think those were a good idea but they were certainly disrupted they were disrupted by capitalists trying to make more money because that's what capitalists are supposed to do wasn't that they were particularly evil humans it's that they were capitalists and the point is to give people less and make more they propagated the idea which you can see Trump doing so successfully as Ivanka Trump hired people for forty four cents an hour in China to make her fashion juice they propagated the idea that the problem with male wages with white male wages was that refugees were encroaching on America that uppity women were encroaching on men's jobs and taking them that minorities were muscling in to take men's jobs now it is true that as men's jobs were being exported the movement both the women's movement and the black power movements got a lot of government money to push those movements to be a gender only an erase only movement less class come into it which gave people the idea that it's race and gender that were the problem rather than that capitalism is the problem capitalism exported well-paid white male wages which then disrupted the usual traditional family of dependent wives and children and men who earned family wages it is ironic that Focus on the Family and other right-wing organizations say that they support the family while they supported exactly that capitalists getting away with denying decent wages and outsourcing them which impoverished families and forced women into the labor force in the 1960s and 70s women poured into the labor force out of necessity we poured into the labor force because we needed to support our families and children that in turn made a huge difference in male-female relation chips when a woman needs to go out to work and then comes home from work tired she's a whole lot less enthusiastic about doing all the housework childcare and being available to make herself look sexy do sex work and do the emotional work of supporting her husband who's emotional needs are greater because his masculinity is being assaulted by his low wages so that women decided no we don't want this and left that's why 70% of divorces are now initiated by women and divorces are by far most numerous in red states where there are fundamentalist religions that emphasize as the Southern Baptist Convention does that men should be dominant and women should be subordinate and where traditional sex roles are enforced that's who gets the most divorces as well as that's where the fragile masculinity is make America great again is make America what it was in the 60s where white supremacy was assumed economically where women were subordinated in the home and dependent on men and where a man's home was his feudal Manor where he had people taking care of him and that's no longer the case and in those areas of the most fragile masculinity are the areas of blue-collar Trump supporters one of the things that's happened is that men have been deceived by Fox News right-wing politicians and even people like Jordan Peterson who seem to have great compassion for men and brain and blame their problems on women women have changed we have entered the labor force we had we have fought for wage parity even though we don't have it we have been fighting for it but we were pushed out of the household by capitalists and that has changed our tack our sex roles and it has changed whether we want to be married to men or not also the pill which happened around the same time which came out allows people to be sexual without having to be married and changes in mores have changed radically in the nineteen 1960s five percent of children were born outside of a marriage now forty two percent of children are born outside of a marriage and children born nights are outside of a marriage are accepted single parenthood is accepted a lot of women choose to be single parents even though single parenthood for women is one of the indicators of poverty and American children are the poorest people in America second poorest are single mothers who have one wage and a lower wage on which to support a family the whole family scene is up for grabs and with it the male role which has changed so radically is up for grabs with this change role there is both confusion and upset and rage as we have seen with all the mass shootings and all the shootings that aren't mass shootings one out of well the biggest color put it this way the biggest cause of homicide of women between 15 and 44 is angry husbands or boyfriends this is both a tragedy for men and also a huge and wonderful opportunity just as Terry Crews explained that men can be full people now that men have to be vulnerable introspective know their own feelings share their feelings know that they need each other as well as they need their partners and when they have a family they need the love and support of their children relationships have changed instead of the man being in charge there's now an opportunity for people to be equals and the deepest and most profound of friends as well as lovers and workers together with the new vulnerability that's now available to men a much deeper connection is possible connection in intimate relationships connection in emotional friendships connection in groups men are particularly isolated from groups and from each other women have more intimate talks with each other when they meet by chance and didn't even know each other when they see each other in the bathroom a woman who goes into a ladies room can say to another woman in the mirror oh I'm afraid I look fat in this my boyfriend is so critical and they can get support even if they will never see each other again after those few seconds in the women's room men would never do that say to some guy at the men's room how I look in this do I look fat in this you know my girlfriend just insulted me and get the support of a man standing next to him since men's former intimacy and usual intimacy is allowed only with women it allowed men to mix the closeness and emotion that they could show with sex which is a need that men are allowed to have changed relationships can allow men to have the whole spectrum of human needs that are actually there from the need for a hug from the need for emotional support from the need to a pat on the back from the need to cry from the need to just sit and hold hands for the need to be sharing with friends who understand because they've been there too so the tragedy of American men is now an opportunity for mental health since mental health is all about connection the deeper the better men have a chance now to connect as equals with women with other men with children we can make America great again and even greater than it's ever been on the basis of dropping capitalist values that allow people to do anything for a profit an allowing one group of people to feel that they can dominate another men to dominate women whites to dominate blacks parents to dominate and be authoritarian or violent with children we also can dump capitalism and the misery that it brings when decisions about the deepest thing are inconsequential because the only decision is profit in Europe where there are powerful socialist and communist parties outsourcing is much less allowed in Germany as I think I've told you before but you may have forgotten the German metal Workers Union a powerful left Union just won a twenty two hour work week so that they could get family personal and work balance in Germany jobs are not allowed to be exported out sourced if a capitalist wants to outsource a job he or she has to make sure that what the decision is made with the community in mind with worker representatives in mind and with all the ecological outflow that that might happen in mind in Sweden if a company wants to outsource they have to get an equivalent job for everyone in their company so most just decide to produce a different thing if what they produced wasn't successful rather than to outsource and cause themselves having to get everybody who works there another job America could do that too if we had socialist parties and communist parties if we had socialists like Bernie Sanders or Alexandra Ocasio Cortez with powerful positions we could have that too and we should we should do that to rescue men from the pain that they're feeling as the wall of masculinity dissolves thank you very much thank you for listening this episode has been brought to you by democra see at work please support our work visit our website at democracy at work info




Comments
  1. We got democracy at work in the factory I own. Each morning I let my workers know that we've got us another really long & tough day ahead of us and that the only way we're going to get through it is to work together as a team. And that means they do what I say.

  2. Anyone have a source for government sponsorship of the womens' and Black/Brown Power movements? I've only found the Gloria Steinem/CIA link.

  3. I love how Christians love to say that their religion has made the world such a better place. But when I look back at these ancient times in many countries even Egypt women and men were treated as equals, woman were teachers, priests, and even leaders, took Christianity what 2000+ years to even get back to that type of equality, not impressed. See Hypatia to see the type of equality found in ancient civilization an equality that their religion destroyed and forbid and even placed the blame of the fall of man on the woman.

  4. As Parenti has said, "racism is one of the great success stories of Capitalism."
    And everything that Terry Crews said is absolutely spot on. As young men we are taught to flaunt our sexuality, to conquer as many women as we can, and to show no feelings at all.
    Men who have followed this template for most of their lives now feel an inability to connect with the opposite sex. I wonder why.
    I realized a few years ago that I had to be authentic with women, that I had to surrender to my true feelings, that I didn't have to suppress my human emotions, and that I had to simply see women as equal human beings and treat them as such. Men don't realize that they CAN compliment a woman on her looks and not be 'creepy.' If you're authentic when you compliment a woman, and just ask her if you can be honest before telling her she's beautiful, and really mean it, she'll sense that you're being genuine and will appreciate it under most circumstances.
    But men have to get rid of this toxic masculinity and learn to connect with their own human side. It's really not as complicated as they make it seem.

  5. 14 white men didn't like hearing this.
    And according to Republicans like Trump, Germany is doing so well because it's CHEATING!!

  6. Capitalism dipped a little too hard into the funds of the family, and look at the problems it's caused. It's the rise of the clever people over the moral and intelligent person. They were just doing their job, were they? This is where Adams' invisible altruistic hand became a grabbing selfish hand.

  7. Dr Fraad has helped me immensely with understanding my world & how economics effects relationships. (Here I invite grammar snob to correct my use of 'effect' if it is wrong. It's been like decades and I'm still insecure how I use it.)

  8. People's egos too often lead them to associate with power and status, regardless of character or morality. Blind love for celebrities, the military, the rich and athletes are just a few examples.

  9. If they are white they are brainwashed with right wing propaganda and racist and vote for the Trumptard thwarting real change for the common good.

  10. I agree with so many of your points on capitalism! However you can’t blame gender roles on capitalism when, gender roles have been around well before capitalism was ever even thought of!! If feminism is so great then why are men and women the most unhappy then ever in history?? This is the 4th wave of feminism and it’s still yet to produce anything of substantial value!! Communities that have women as the head or a smoldering crater! The reality is that every feminist talks about equality as they drive,speak into and use MAN MADE PRODUCTS! Men have not changed and neither have our gender roles! We still are expected to impose environment, build and protect!! So I’m not sure if your reasoning is very solid for the meat of this video! Masculine energy has created your entire world! Show some respect please!!

  11. Fraud and capitalism go hand in hand,. Just like being alive and suffering, funny she doesn't speak against procreation since it's tha base of all of our problems…

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