Capitalism Hits Home: Sugar Arrangements: Intimate Personal Connection For Sale - Part 2



hello this is dr. Harriet fraud on capitalism its home an interpersonal update this is a show about the intersection of capitalism class and our personal lives a second kind of man enters this change terrain of male-female relationships with no help at all because men don't have the kind of support and help that women had for our changed roles along with the women's movement and all the things that came along with it consciousness-raising sessions support of other women publicity about the importance of what we do and who we are and that second kind of man is insecure and frightened he demands that his partner do all the traditional labor childcare housework emotional care of him sexual care of him on demand connecting him with friends and relatives cooking cleaning housework while she's also working outside of the home those are the kind of Trump supporters that you see the Mogga make America great again his make really make America the kind of great which was a white country where men got family wages however they don't want to blame the capitalists who abandoned them for machines computers overseas cheaper workers they want to blame uppity women and minorities and refugees for their problems there was a very interesting map made by I think it was Mother Jones magazine where they show that the areas of masculine insecurity in the United States are exactly those of Trump supporters and you can see that in the demands of P like Rush Limbaugh and the kind of language of Donald Trump where he talks about how his second divorce from that Marla maples was perhaps precipitated by the fact that she actually wanted him to be seen wheeling a stroller in Central Park she wanted him to get engaged with his daughter which he found an assault on his masculinity those relationships in which men are demanding all the things that they used to get when women were full-time servants for them in the home while women have to go out to work those relationships last even less time than relationships of different kinds of people who try for something else that's why the red states have a much higher divorce rate than the blue states you can look at that these new developments in in men with two different groups there are the men's rights groups that feel that even if they're divorced they should have access to their children when they want they shouldn't have any obligations to their wives and they should be catered to those are very different from the father's rights groups which are rights for divorced fathers to be able to see their children more to be able to connect with their children to be able to care for their children rather than have rights because they're men and do what they feel like those people who do marry and stay married tend to be people with college degrees and more money they're college educated and wealthy if they marry at all they marry later when they have their education completed and good jobs most who stay married can talk through their conflicts and share responsibilities the wealthy who stay married long and who are the only group that's having more children rather than less they hire other poor men and women to do their cooking their cleaning in their childcare their maids or nannies take the children to after-school sports lessons or enrichment programs they're the ones who can take their family out to dinner or buy takeout food or get the maid to cook and clean up afterwards they have party planners to do their children's parties and caterers to manage their entertaining they also can afford psychotherapy to help them with the conflicts in their marriages and in their lives which are in part the conflicts of trying to adjust to a change terrain of relationships they can afford marital stability and they can afford children because they pay others to do the work that stay-at-home moms once did or in the case of the 1% they can pay their women to stay home and manage the various help they hire to take care of their houses and their children now the mass of Americans are struggling politically over what are the conditions of existence that would allow new egalitarian families or that insist on reinforcing the old conditions which no longer work there economically impossible as the traditional family form based on women being home serving men and men working at a family wage they're also impossible because the family wages aren't there those are the struggles we see around abortion which is only available in 39-count now because the evangelicals and right-wing want to take away women's right to choose and also family's right to choose whether to have children or not because an egalitarian family depends on deciding together whether you want a child and can afford to sustain a child they're also fighting for things these are the fights we see over things like family leave leave to take care of a sick child leave to take care of an older relative because women aren't home all the time able to do those things anymore and so that those people who fight against that which are often located in the evangelical south and our are the right wing are trying to reinforce the conditions of a family form that's impossible for the mass of people that same family form that they're trying to reinforce was formerly seen in the late era of Nazi Germany where they defined women's spheres as Korea cuca and kinder kitchen Church and children but at the same time they needed women to work in the factories to replace the men who were drafted so they compelled women to work in order to survive but define them as naturally working in the home so they didn't have to pay them very much that way they got women's domestic labor and also their employment ironically in Nazi Germany where they required those things of women they wanted women to reproduce at the same time because they needed to rekindle the force that would go out and die for Germany or for Nazism fascism what women didn't give birth any more than they had before because they were so wiped out after 60 hours in the munitions factory and then child care and household care as well the kind of struggles we see our struggles over enhancing and allowing new family forms or trying to hold on to sex roles that the economy doesn't allow anymore now what happens is Americans are trapped with evangelical religions that at the same time say that they are family-focused fact focus on family is one of the richest of those right winging institutions but at the same time fights against any possibility for families to survive and thrive without the supports we need and those are the supports they fight against in order to enhance the profits of the wealthy people who financed them now America is particularly backward in this respect and the sugar arrangements industry is an all-american industry most of the sugar babies and sugar daddies in the world are in the United States there are fewer of them in the other developed nations that allow the conditions of existence for egalitarian families for example free college and university tuitions France Germany Scandinavians even Slovenia has that free quality health care so that when people have children they don't have the burden of the children's health for buying health insurance which is very expensive free or subsidized quality childcare heavily subsidized for example in France infant care is $1 an hour on a drop-in basis all 3 year-olds are enrolled in fine public childcare centers that have a pediatric nurse there and they also have a master's degree teacher and an associate's degree assistant teacher and they have sick rooms where working parents can leave sick kids in the care of a nurse their after-school programs are subsidized their summer programs are subsidized so they can't cost more than 15% of a month's salary for the workers that are having their children in these places these summer camps or after-school programs they have generous maternity and paternity leaves the EU nations compel maternity and paternity leaves they give anywhere from four weeks to 52 weeks a year of fully paid maternity leaves and the state repays the business that gives a maternity leave that's paid so that the businesses are not opposed and they give from two weeks to 13 weeks of paternity leave and many of the European nations in addition make paternity leave compulsory so men won't get any job promotions or advantages for not taking their paternity leaves they also have highly subsidized unemployment benefits and guaranteed family vacation time every French person who is working and employed gets five weeks of paid vacation which allows families to have time together they also have family Eve's for four people who are ill for elders who need their company for whatever they have subsidy for single mothers subsidy for school clothes subsidy for family members that need company we in the United States are one of the four nations in the entire world that doesn't have paid maternity leave guaranteed we're right there with Swaziland Lesotho and Papua New Guinea the only other nations in the world without paid maternity leaves why why are we allowing our economy and our government to provide a precarious future for the mass of Americans and provide very little support for relationships or children dating has shifted from a pattern of finding a suitable mate marrying and having children to dating in a hook-up culture or having a series of monogamous relationships that don't last and that can't last in our culture part of the reason that many sugar babies give for going into the sugar industry in addition to paying off debt is that they don't want to get involved romantically with a man because it may hold back the careers that they need they understand that relationships may end and they don't want to be left as older women without finishing their degrees and being secure in their careers also they need money and therefore the men who really fear the whole changed terrain of relationships one a GFE a girlfriend experience without having to deal with the problems that a girlfriend provides the kind of adjustment the kind of honesty the kind of talking the kind of changes that relationships need these days there's an extra irony here women's sexuality which can reduce us to our sexuality so people don't notice that we're people and caused us to be sexually abused and harassed as well as devalued at work also makes it easier for us to have a debt-free or at least more debt free future as sugar babies and sugar arrangements which is one of the reasons they're so very appealing in our predatory capitalism in which the conditions of relationships have changed without the social supports they need for example in Sweden one of the things they've done to adjust to this is the new housing has small housing units in which young people can live but big communal kitchens and game rooms so people who come home from a long day can relate to other people in a provided environment that's subsidized they do the same for the elderly and they do that for two reasons for the elderly partly it's because it's much more healthy everyone needs connection and the elderly are otherwise holed up in their individual homes without much contact with other people but they also do it to keep their medical prices down because they almost all have subsidized or free medical care and when people can connect with all with other people their medical care needs their medical needs go way down and similarly in their older people's housing which is subsidized they have smaller apartments and big communal spaces communal dining areas game rooms rooms where people can see films and be together but in America everything is commoditized it's monetized look at our president who when he became president of the United States doubled the prices at his mar-a-lago Florida Resort and then had foreign guests go there so that the government can pay double and he can line his pockets he also enhanced the hotel near Washington so far that he owns and raised the prices so international guests can come and subsidize him financially in order to look better to the president he once said if I can't make money off of this presidency it'll be a waste of time so the sugar industry is a phenomenon of America's current sexist vulture capitalism with its grotesque prices for education and heavy debt burdens borne by our future workforce colleges presidents no longer have anything to do with education they become presidents to raise money but the college's to become capitalistic units selling degrees in order to survive and they do that because in order to enhance their political position political leaders have cut taxes on education something the West Virginia teachers who struck pointed out so they can look better meanwhile starving the country of education and forcing the expenses onto individuals and so that universities have become crazily expensive and of course not all sugar babies are involved with universities but many are at least 45% of sugar babies are involved in education and paying off into educational debt relationships are included in the commoditization of everything transactional looking at what you can get and what you have to give rather than looking at connection and caring and concern and the togetherness of building a future critics shout out that Marxism and leftism destroys the sanctity of the family an ironic statement look at the sugar industry driven by vulture capitalism's denial of funds for education while spurring profiteering on college loans and sometimes profiteering on college itself as in the for-profit colleges in which betty devotes our education cabinet minister invests and which she has spurred she has subsidized and extolled look in order to look at what happened let's look at the capitalistic destruction of the family in the combination of replacing well-paid jobs with underpaid jobs overseas replacing people with machines that cost less and enhance the profits that those are the things that forced women's mass migration white womens and the majority the country was white in the 70s they pushed women into the workforce to try to make a living for the family and at the same time totally disrupted the family without providing the supports that would allowed a family and those supports are the kind of things that other European countries with a much stronger communist and socialist presence have fought for like paid family leave free education from early infant education through the university free health care free child care three after-school care subsidy for single mothers and so on our capitalist society has denied us that and the vast monies that our capitalist earned by taking our jobs overseas or mechanizing robotize inand computerizing them have been brought home to the United States that money and used to buy our media and used to buy our politicians and it's only now that people are beginning to catch on what people like Ocasio Cortes are calling for a seventy percent tax rate on incomes above a million dollars lower than the ninety six point four percent tax rate on the rich that FDR suggested but a lot bigger than the tax rate we have now which for people like Trump is zero because people can always put their money in the Canary Islands in the United States versus the Canary Islands isn't a joke the Canary Islands would tell us the names and give the money back they've bought our government the good news is that we now no longer believe that it's Marxism or leftism that destroys families because we watch how capitalism destroys American families we see the transformation that has happened in relationships in families we see the transference from a relationship of connection and future and partnership with the kind of transactional relationships that one has in a sugar baby deal and we see the excesses of American capitalism that are busily destroying the relationships of trust without money of caring of trying to work out a love that lasts and a family in order to create a monetized and transactional emotional sexual personal and business environment so that the idea that Marxism destroys family in the light of the sugar industry is ludicrous it also points to the fact that what we need is we need a program on families where families are subsidized where people can work have children if they want them and be supported in their lives with the government's input thank you for listening this episode has been brought to you by democracy at work please support our work visit our website at democracy at work dot info




Comments
  1. sorry Dr. Fraad. why should the government or the employer pay for maternity leave? shouldnt the guy who is getting these women pregnant be paying for their maternity leave??? thats like "S" getting a woman pregnant, and she then asks "X" to pay for her maternity leave. thats insaaaaaaaaaaane

  2. Thanks, Dr. Harriette for shining a light on how the family model and Capitalism have broken down. I appreciate hearing about the workplace alternatives that other countries offer. We can become a humane nation that truly promotes family cohesion without regressing to oppressive family structures. I also love the housing situation you mention in Sweden that allows community connection when a person returns home from work. I have lived in a cooperative with shared facilities, and it's got a lot of advantages in that it breaks down isolation.

  3. Oh my, Incels have colonized the comments section.
    I encourage any Psychology or Neuroscience graduate students who watch this video to take note of what this mental illness looks like in it's natural environment.

  4. Dear Dr Fraad: your view on male-female relationships is outdated. Please read up on the MGTOW movement, and also Dr Camille Paglia.

    NB: men matter too.

  5. actually women are naturally capitalist and abandon men repeatedly for a better economic deal. this is part of the problem of capitalism and its large scale endorsement , womens endorsement of capitalism and the forcing men into this touranament mating strategy.
    why do you never focus on womens involvement and role in gender relations and endorsement of disaster capitalism ??

  6. I live in a Red State, and I have found that a lot of the men here are hard-hearted, view human empathy as a weakness and are damned proud that they are this way. No wonder that they are alienated from so many women.

  7. Super-sharp view on family effects of capitalism.. Introduces ideas I hadn't heard of or thought about. Thank you.

  8. Most married women nowadays don’t cook. clean or give sex on demand; so there is only working women that do the opposite hence the dissatisfaction

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