boy hey hi did you call me I am the guardian of the secrets of the gods and the mysteries of the mortals and you you are the one who should receive as a gift the power of boredom really they knew it after my parents died in an archeological accident after everything I spent at the orphanage I always believed it one day my luck would change and that I would be chosen for something great and you are the only one who answered when I called these children today are too smart to talk to me luckily it seems that your parents didn't have time to fill your head with this nonsense of not talking to ragged strangers and deserted subway stations at night and don't get in the magic van of an old man and address thanks to this Timmy you can realize the dream of every child had become an adult with the power to protect the lives of many people and live numerous adventures everything in okay then just say the magic word boredom [Applause] and did that ray incinerate my hair its natural to gain weight after marriage and the baldness gene is hereditary so it looks like your dad ended up leaving something for you after all did you say marriage yes these are the lives that you will protect from now on and for a long long time I shouldn't talk about the future but that short one there is an idiot like a rock and will only get a job as a cashier at McDonald's at the age of 42 no no no no no it cannot be today and there's also the lovely Judith what is all of this smoke I already told you that you gotta buy another oven there's something very wrong here you're not looking at the bright side look at Judith it's not so easy for a young kid to get an older woman can i I mean me and her of course she's your wife technically this isn't wrong and doesn't violate any law you can enjoy as much as you want what's every couple of months if she doesn't have a headache oh fucking her lover but we're crap is just boredom power it's nothing like I was imagining you have received the wisdom of Brian the strength of Oswald the figure of Ramon the power of Dave the courage of Andy and Mike speed who are they the guys I played poker with on Thursdays you're lucky because until last week Zacharias also played where would I put a Z and bottom I thought you were gonna turn me into somebody with wife full of excitement and adventure my friend what you have here is excitement there is not a night that doesn't have a moan or scream or a nasty fight with Judith and you want adventure did I tell you you're going to lose your job five years from now oh my god what do I do for work you're an accountant but look you have 15 minutes of lunch maybe you could save someone in that time who knows stopping a suicide it's very common for people in your office to try to jump out the window no no no no III think that there is a serious lack of communication here hey where are you going to my room you live here with me great one more person to support I'm like a million years old man what did you think this is my retirement for an orphan you seem very unenthusiastic about having a new family

  1. If there were even a 50/50 chance of superpowers, I'd totally follow an old weirdo in a dress into a dark cavern and grab his staff. But it's always a Sha-scam 😢

  2. 1:19 I think there was a line missing there, it seems that he pointed out his weight gain before the loss of hair given the answer the wizard gave him.

  3. Honestly, Timmy got off way too easy. Especially compared to Slim Bobby, trust me. Seriously, Captain Ankles really needs to reconsider having extremely weak people as his conduit.

    And for those of you who don't know what I'm talking about, this is a reference to the Captain Ankles comic by Society of Virtue. Yes, not only does Society of Virtue make comics of their own, but it comes from their very own app, which is free to download on Goggle Play and the App Store. Check it out for really cool merch, comics, and new videos!

  4. I'd be angry too, if ALL my kids came out as gingers. Shit, I'd be pissed if just one came out as a ginger.

  5. This will teach these orphan to stop stealing the "special one" treatment from others. Right batman? Harry Potter. Aladdin.

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