Hello everybody and welcome back to another episode of “I don’t bi it”! My name is Alayna Fender, and I’ll be your host. There are a lot of myths and misconceptions floating around about sexuality these days And I’m here to get to the bottom of them. Or the top. Or neither.
[TITLE CARD : #ASEXUALITY] Todays guest is Abbie. hello, how do you identify?
Panromantic and then I would say asexual Panromantic, that’s a new one. This is Abbie. She does not like sex. She doesn’t want anyone else to have sex either
It’s a religious thing. It’s not though if other people want to have sex. I’m totally cool with that I’m actually a very sex positive person. You’re like a walking paradox Asexuality is when you don’t experience sexual attraction to anyone I don’t go hey look at you. You’re hot. I’d like to have the sex with you.
Do you still have genitals?
Yes. I own them on my body.
Can you…? (whisper) orgasm?
Yes. I’m fully capable of having sex and I have all the things that sex requires And you’re celibate.
No. Would you consider yourself to be a part of the LGBTQ community?
I would.
So you’re gay Not exactly…
Gay as in homosexual, homosexual as in attracted to one group of people and that group people is just empty. That’s a really roundabout way of getting to the point
Or you could say you’re homosexual as in attracted to one group of people and that group of people is just yourself?
No. I’ve heard asexuals refer themselves as aces Yes.
Why is that?
It’s to say, you know : “hey I’m asexual” and I’m like “I’m ace”, sounds cooler
And people can be like “ace in the hole” Well that doesn’t work, does it.
No. I actually have a boyfriend and-
He also hates sex No, we have a very loving relationship. We’re a very attracted to each other. I love him romantically. He’s very sexually What if you were stuck on a desert island though?
What if?
That’s usually… I don’t know, that’s usually like gets people, breaks people.
Do most people get stuck on desert Island and just go “let’s have sex all the time!” Because my first thought would be let’s find food.
Maybe you just haven’t met the right person yet. Sorry John [Maybe next time…]
What if you were the last person on Earth?
Well, then I would be the only person and nothing would [come] of it anyway What have you and John were the last two people on Earth? Then maybe we would think about it because we can’t have sex as we want to that works But how will you ever get married?
You can get married and not have sex But I’ve-
Not in God’s eyes! If we’re talking about God… Yes.
Are asexuals not preferred in their purity? The asexuals are the chosen people! Maybe but I mean, I think god’s pretty open to everybody.
Unless you’re trying to get married and not consummating that sh** You say you’re part of the LGBTQ-Q-Q community.
Yes. Where’s the A at?
Actually if you go with like the longer string of letters there is an A.
It’s called the alphabet.
You know in the LGBTQ letters so LGBTQIA-
I A ?
IA, Intersex I’m asexual
Sure So we’re both asexual.
If it has to do with celibacy…
It doesn’t. Then no… If it’s a choice…
It’s not. (whispers) Then no Maybe it’s just you can’t find anyone to have sex with you I have found multiple people willing to have sex with me.
Then I’m definitely not asexual.
Oh Next question. Canadians are really the brilliant people here. You bring the A into everything!
Except asexuality because apparently people want to sleep with you. I’m interested to hear about what it’s like to be male and asexual
You have to ask somebody who is male and asexual. He’s sexual, A space sexual
Exactly I’m glad we understand each other Do we?
Who is he sexual with?
We can experience sexual intimacy together if we so choose to do that. Currently he isn’t Currently having sex with anybody.
So he’s celibate and you’re asexual Me and John do you experience sexual intimacy with each other because we like to compromise. It’s just not something I’m attracted to necessarily So it’s like doing the dishes Sometimes you do the dishes because your partner wants you to the dishes Yes…
I don’t want to get my hands all slimy. [yeah], I don’t want touch dirty dishes [exactly], but I love my partner so I’ll get those dishes nice and clean.
And that’s perfectly fine as long as both partners are absolutely, okay with it 100% on board.
I think now it’s time for the lightning round.
I’m ready
For your lightning round I’ve decided we’re going to play Smash or Pass Okay Smash or Pass ! Grace Helbig.
Pass. Correct. Michael Aranda!
Pass. Correct. Your boyfriend John.
Pass This is getting confusing now, Miss Fender?
Well… Pass […] answer Those are all the questions I have for you today.
Oh wow! Fast! Easy. Painless.
I don’t bi it: fast easy painless Thank you so much for being on the show.
Thank you.
You’re welcome For the opportunity. Thank you so much for watching and as always: Bye/Bi Unless you’re asexual
Exactly what I’d say nailed it

  1. -"Maybe you just haven't found the right person yet"
    John :😱😱😱
    -"sorry John"

  2. Hi MissFender! Long time viewer here, but my first time commenting on a video. I just want to say that I really enjoy your stuff. I'm probably not a typical viewer of your channel as I find a lot of today's gender/sexuality politics to be really authoritarian, and I consume quite a bit of anti-SJW content on YouTube. That being said, your channel is light-hearted and informative, and although I likely disagree with many of your stances on current issues, I am really leaning a lot from this I don't bi it series. Keep it up!

  3. YES ABBIE!! This was my favorite I Don't Bi It yet. (also ace smash or pass, as previously seen on my channel 👌)

  4. yay, a video about asexuality, i needed this, since i identify as such, and so little exists for me/us out there!!!

  5. But the A doesn't stand for asexuals, it stands for allies, which is a term used for closeted LGBT+ people. Asexuals aren't inherently LGBT+? Like, she's still panromantic, so she is LGBT+, but someone heteroromantic asexual, asexual aromantic, or aromantic heterosexual wouldn't be LGBT+ because they don't face the same oppression that same gender attracted or trans people face.

  6. I just came across your videos about a week ago, and I love you!! I am a heterosexual female, but I find your videos funny, educational, and absolutely hilarious!! You are very charismatic and so fun to watch! I wish I would have found you sooner!! I definitely subscribed!! Keep the awesome videos comin!!

  7. Panromantic ace pride! I stumbled on a great article about asexuals and sex drives (libido, being sex repulsed vs. sex positive, etc.) if you're interested in reading it, it's helped me when trying to explain how asexual people can be sex positive and even enjoy sex, and how that has nothing to do with sexual attraction.

  8. Happy 25th Birthday Alayna! Even though you may not feel you have done much in your 25 years of life, we all know that you have done more than a lot in your 25 years on Earth! You have 176,535+ subscribers! That's 176,535+ people that you have helped in your time on YouTube. You have changed the lives of so many and gave support to those struggling with many things such as anxiety, depression, self compassion, identity and so much more. Not only have you been a supporter to people you have been a mentor and a teacher to so many including myself. Thank you for doing all that you do. I appreciate you for all of your hard work and your creativity and uniqueness. I hope you have the best birthday ever! Love you Alayna!

  9. Does she still make punishment reactions???
    Because if she still does reactions, I wanna she her react to Batmetal!!! and Batmetal returns!!!

  10. I have seen you before on YouTube but never realy watched your videos. Now I know that it was the biggest mistake and I regrat it. So I subscribed imediately!

  11. i do not understand how ace people are included in lgbt+. they have not experienced the years and years of hate, discrimination, violence, etc. that lgbt people have. i'm not trying to be like offensive or hurtful, i truly just would like some knowledge (maybe a video?) on this pls

  12. You said you're interested what a male Ace would say and as one I really have nothing to add to what Abby said. She did an excellent job of representing our community. Thank you Abby, you get all the cake 😉 I'll also be at Playlist Live in May Missfenderr if you have any other questions. I'll be the only dude there with a two foot red beard.

  13. I was trying to explain asexual to my brother and I felt so bad cause I didn't know how to explain it right. He kept asking me things I didn't know how to properly explain it to him because I am not ace and don't want to say the wrong thing. It was so frustrating because he said to me and I quote "So they can only date other asexuals then." He also said "I feel like not having sex is unhealthy." And it made me extra mad because he is gay. I would have figured he would have done more research to know what some of the other letters in LGBTQ+++ stood for.

  14. NOO, I just deleted a comment.. I really poured my heart out but I'm going to repeat myself;

    Hello, my name is luke and I'm a not so closeted homosexual, back then I didn't knew about your existence but even though I'm out you give me hope and energy. I love your funny interviews where you say the most histerical things, to your serious ones that inspire me and stop the judgement. I really love all your video's and I just want to say I love you and your work. I also jus found out you didn't have as much subscribers as I though ( even though you still have a bunch of them ) and I want to say that I know for sure you're growing and more people will appreciate you every day. – greetings a fan of yours 😛

    ps. sorry for my english but I'm dutch so don't judge :}
    pps. that rymed :0

  15. Thank you SOOOO much for making this! I'm in the asexual spectrum and this just means the world to me! Thank you. 🙂

  16. Oh, hey, this was uploaded on my birthday and I'm ace. Cool.
    But when you say "a sexual," why not bring up the term "allosexual"? That just means anyone who isn't asexual.
    Cool video, though. Loving your channel so far.

  17. "Do most people get stuck on a desert island and just be like, 'Let's have sex for the time', because my first thought would be 'let's find food.'" GURL "Let's find food" is my first thought in any situation.

  18. "I'm asexual but I still have sex" then you're not asexual. that's just not really liking sex, and that's not lgbt stuff.

  19. I just typed in "asexual" into youtube and this video is so funny but also makes me feel a little less broken
    thank you so much and I'll definitely subscribe!

  20. I've heard a lot people say they want sex, enjoy sex, and have sex frequently, yet call themselves asexual. I'm not saying you're all fakers it just needs to be said that there are a good chunk of you who are conflating low libido with asexuality.

  21. 21st century is just filled with trendy labels that socially awkward people feel happy belonging to.

    asexuality goes against the laws of nature.

    Just saying.

  22. I used to think i'm asexual. until I discovered i'm a huge lesbian. I miss being asexual so much D: it was sooo fun! seriously…… not having to think about that at all!? Not sure if that's possible but i'm raging with hormones and think about it all day. maybe it'll go away after my teenage years are done D:

  23. Her relationship sounds a lot like my friend and her husband. He's asexual but she has an average sex drive. Every once in a while he'll do things for her because he understands that's something he wants and he's happy to see her happy. Of course not every asexual person would be willing to do this just like not ever sexual person would be happy with not having sex very often

  24. Brasilian meme detected ⚠️⚠️
    Kk just kidding but I'm so happy that finally someone really used the original

    Obs:My english it's terrible sorry

  25. Los Poker de Asex es una comunidad internacional para todos que se sientan parte del espectro asexual y grisexual .

    Su función es conectar asex y gris de todo el mundo para hacer amigos y tener una comunidad donde todos se apoyen entre sí.

    También queremos difundir el espectro asexual y grisexual e intentar responder a todas las preguntas que se puedan tener sobre ese tema 🙂

    Por favor, siéntase libre de unirse
    a nuestro instragram:

    y al grupo de whatsapp:

  26. I don't BUY any of this crap, YAY!!! Asexual, bisexual, trisexual, quadsexual, amipomorsexual, retrisitualsexual, musexual, fasexual…. It's all bullshit

  27. Everytime i watch one of your i dont bi it i cry my eyes out of laughter xD thanks for those small videos you brighten my day everytime

  28. I had my mom watch some of this video to introduce her to asexuality. She didn't really get the jokes or me explaining what asexuality is but it was my way to try and test the waters to see what it'd be like to come out. So thank you for this video. I would love to see another episode of I Don't Bi It or educational videos about asexuality. Or videos on aromantic.

  29. You should have Christine sydelko on to talk about asexuality too she’s so funny I feel like your guys sense of humors together would be iconic and Christine is asexual

  30. Shouldn't it be anerotic biromantic asexual? There are only 2 sexes/genders, so if "pan" means attraction to "all" possible gender *expressions*, that's another dimension: interests.

  31. A video with a title “Asexuality is a religion” gets a Mormon Ad giving away free Bibles as a lead in. 🙂

  32. I think I may be panromantic, but I'm not sure. Definitely biromantic, Ace, and kinda sex-repulsed. Also, lol at this vid.

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